Aftercare

I was reading a recent forum post and it got me thinking about aftercare.

Ive always been a huge fan of aftercare and have often paid for dinners, conversation, going out for ice cream or drinks etc. we talk a little about the session a little real life etc. its a nice way to wrap a good day of domination.

Ive heard some say they don't need it as well.

How do dominas feel about it?

Im fortunate enough that i can spend several days at a time with my domme and we have been doing aftercare where i hold me domme in my arms. It was something that happened organically but has now become a big part of our sessions. Outside of session we have a very equal power dynamic and this brings it back to that level.

It is great that you have the opportunity to spend special time with your dom after, what I'd assume, is intense play. In my early years as a dom, most of my clients were "Fun and done." Their work schedule would unexpectedly change and they'd stop over for an hour of femdom and then, back to the real world they'd go. For whatever reason, when I moved from Ohio to Rhode Island, my client based shifted to overnight and weekend sessions. My experience went between two scenarios. Either both of us were in such deep dom/sub space for a prolonged time that we more than ready to get back and get our feet planted back into the ground. My "Recovery" was gardening or a spin class. The other scenario was the handful of regular clients that I met at designation spots. We'd rent a spectacular place...a cabin with a hot tub on the deck, a 5 star hotel, I even rented a pontoon boat once. For these excursions, we'd play for a few hours, hang out and talk about it, play for a few more hours and go to the movies, go back at playing and then have dinner, ect. We had our aftercare, in between bursts of playing over a day or two. That was super cool. It was also very bonding. Although I've long been retired, one of my best friends, is a former client who I did a lot of day and weekend sessions with.

That is very cool and sounds very much like my setup. Its a blurred line between a lifestyle and pro relationship. Im not sure i could go back to the “fun and done”after having this level of interaction. The interesting thing is that the sessions arent overly intense. The relationship is though and that makes the sessions better. Our trips are mostly Vanilla with a couple of hours of sessions per day. Its not an easy thing to find two people who have the flexibility and like each other enough to do this regularly. Its like an equal mix between having a domme/girlfriend/travel partner. But not necessarily in that order.

This is close to the experiences that I've had, playing among friends and at fetish parties. Aftercare isn't even a discussion. It is expected. A "fun and done," was it was referred to here would leave me feeling down, whether I was topping or bottoming. I'd love to know how this goes in the professional scene.

In 10+ years I was active in sessions, most clients did not want or expect aftercare. For most, especially hourly clients, they were ready to get back on with their day afterwards. The session was a quick break from reality for them. Longer sessions, where emotions were running deep, would often have a time afterwards to come back to earth. I do believe the expectations and needs are different among professional clients who are just ducking out for a bit of fun than lifestyle folks who are probably playing a deeper level. Just my guess. If you end up dabbling in the professional scene, you will find client's needs and desires are all over the board. In my experience, there wasn't a set protocol.

Being offered after-care is better for mental health than not offered care. And we understand how much mental health matters more than ever before.

Most of what happens in your mind is subconscious. Sometimes its nice to bring you back to reality. Some find it ruins the exotic atmosphere, others might feel shame for accepting. If his mind starts acting up, he could always come back to the same domme, maybe he will accept the next after-care offer.

Had a few plays from a lesbian couple from fetlife. Wasn't much of an after-care, but different people have different ideas of after-care. "I'm done kicking your plums, you can come watch T.V and have a snack with us or carry some plywood when my friend comes over."

There is an old British comedy called Personal Services about a brothel that specializes in bdsm. After a night wild power play, one of the new men, ordered someone to make him breakfast. All roles were down at that point. They laughed at him and pointed him to the kitchen. Then he had an "ah-ah" moment. It was classic.

I believe aftercare is for sunburn. I enjoy kicking a sub's ass right out the Dungeon door, with a just done the neighbors dog look on his face.

Now I'm excited...

Your post made me smile. Do you have videos online?

LOL. I love this. Most of my sessions ended with hugs at the door. But your style sounds hot. One of the many cool things about professional domination is that there is so much diversity.

Thanks Cheyenne. You're my hero.