After Heavy Degradation Play

I've witnessed this type of the play at fetish parties where the people involved are friends or have some type of personal relationship. I've seen it get intense to the point that is hard to watch even though the submissive is getting exactly what they signed up for. Afterwards, the emotional support is almost as intense as the degradation. The sub is put under a warm blanket and people the very people who were topping them are comforting them. In one scene, the female slave was masturbated and praised for doing such a good job and pleasing the Dom and Master who topped her. It a way it is weird but it is kind of hot at the same time. I was exhausted just watching this roller coaster of emotion.

So, my question is, how does this go in a professional setting? Wouldn't that be a very difficult experience to have with a stranger and then just walk out of the door? Do all submissives want to be consoled afterwards or do some enjoying staying in that degraded state? One thing is for sure. The person bottoming for that experience either has a very high or low level of self esteem. I can't tell which.

I enjoy a degree of humiliation in my sessions. I did a scene at a fetish party with 5 women that got heavy. It was in front of a room full of people, most of who were laughing. My aftercare was being put into cage in the main room. Every now and then a Mistress would walk by and feed me catfood through the bars or spit on me. It was a trip. I was invigorated the next day. It didn't knock me down at all. I still smile thinking about it. I see it more of being entertained than humiliated.

MissMary said..."One thing is for sure. The person bottoming for that experience either has a very high or low level of self esteem. I can't tell which."

I disagree somewhat with this comment. I don't think that engaging in degradation play always has much to do with a sub's level of self esteem. Although, I suppose it depends on your definition of "heavy degradation play"

While I have frequently incorporated elements of degradation (as opposed to verbal humiliation) in play. I process things like kneeling, crawling ,boot licking, eating off of the floor, or being force fed through a piss gag as being more about control and power. More of a demonstration of the Domme's control and my helplessness.

As to aftercare I don't find degradation play in session requires any more or less aftercare than any of the other elements of the session. For me that's 5-10 minutes of a pleasant chat after a quick shower and getting dressed....and maybe a bottle of water before "Thanks again.....take care" and a hug upon departure.

When I was a newish domme I got heavily into super intense verbal humiliation. My rates were much lower then, and I still routinely offered half hours. A SIGNIFICANT portion of my clients were men who would book half an hour of nothing but verbal and be out the door by the 20 minute mark. They very much did NOT want aftercare. They didn't even want their last ten minutes! They didn't want to sit around and chat, they didn't want to get to know me in any other context, they just wanted me to yell at them and then they wanted to GO.

Obviously it was very difficult to get a gage on their emotional state because of this. I suspect a lot of them had shame around their fetish and wanted to forget about it the second they were done. I think for some of the others scurrying out with their heads hanging in shame was an enjoyable part of the fantasy.

Not everyone has the ability to take it so causally. Good for you that you can do that. I see that as a sign of being comfortable in your own skin.

Heavy degradation varies from person to person. One thing I see as a constant is that it is a stripping way of all ego. It is a purging of built up deep emotion and suppressed feelings. I was wondering how people can do that in a hug and goodbye pro session. Unless you've witnessed a heavy scene like that it is hard to imagine. I'm probably not describing it well.

Kneeling, crawling, boot licking and everything you mentioned is hot. I love it all and on either side, depending on the partner. I agree that what you describe is about control and power play. I see that as fun where as actual degradation is a different plane.

This makes complete sense. The men who stop in for a quick fix want to get out of there as quickly as they can. They don't want it to be personal. They are ashamed that they are getting an erection over it. They just want their dirty business done. What I've probably missed is that the people in lifestyle scenes aren't taking a break from their normal life. It is real to them. The top in their scene may be on their bowling league or whatever is it they do through the week. Maybe it is the difference between compartmentalizing and living with your freak?

I enjoy making subs order a Jimmy John's skinny mini, during sessions. There's nothing like having your pud compared to a skinny mini to ensure degradation!

Pun intended!

That sounds totally hot actually.

Yes, I agree. Degradation for one person could be totally different for someone else; and it can be a *very* emotional and deep.

I've met people who find being forced to kneel and kiss the top of a Domme's boots degrading.

And I was at an outdoor event once where I saw several Doms/Dommes completely degrade a naked women sub. It involved mud and filth and forcing her to pee on herself. The behavior actually looked like bad bullying to me. My instincts kicked in and I had to actively concentrate to keep from intervening. I ended up walking away, I didn't like what I was seeing.

She (the sub) liked it though. She was an extreme player.

Doing any of this can be difficult for some people with trust issues.

Aftercare generally relates to the self-knowledge and experience of the sub. If someone comes to me and they know their emotional landscape and can negotiate that clearly then I know I'm less likely to have to do any serious counseling afterward.

Some people prefer that the entirely of the interaction with the Domme is part of the fantasy. So, after a scene, degradation or otherwise, they may continue behaving as if they are in that headspace.

Psychoanalysis of why people like heavy degradation can be interesting to consider but I don't concern myself with it unless I believe they are a serious risk to themselves.