Scheduling etiquette

So this may be an odd question, but I struggle with it so thought I’d ask. I travel a lot, and often want to arrange a session on my travels. My question: is it rude to email multiple Dommes knowing I’ll only have time to session with one? Ideally, I would send one email, get a yes or no and then move on but this doesn’t usually seem to work. I always feel bad reaching out and then not scheduling but conversely I risk being shut out by waiting for a response. I once ended up sessioning three days in a row because I reached out to multiple Dommes and they all got back to me at the last minute lol. Is there an appropriate waiting time for a response? Is it acceptable to email 2 or 3 and then only schedule with one?

I've often reached out to multiple Dommes when traveling on a tight schedule. As long as you do not commit to anyone until you have decided, with certainty, that you will be arriving for a session, I don't see the harm. A lot can be learned in correspondence and how the Domme handles herself while communicating with you. I've always approached this in a manner to respect the Domme's valuable time but also with the priority of obtaining a session that will work for me. For whatever my advise is worth on this, I think your approach is spot on.

Yeah, I think this is a common issue. My advice is start planning earlier. When I reach out to inquire about a session. I usually give it about 48 hours to get a response. After that I'll send an email explaining that since I haven't heard back I'm going to continue my search and I wish them my best. You'd be amazed how often I get a reply 5 minutes after that. But even if I don't get a reply, I can feel I'm moving on with full transparency.

So imagine that you might need to send inquiries to 3-4 Dommes before something works out, so ideally you would start at least two weeks before the date.

I start scheduling more than a week ahead of the date I want to session and only contact one Domme at a time. If I don't hear in two or three days I either resend it or move onto my second choice. The later is extremely rare. The second email to the same Domme has almost always worked.

The message you compose makes a difference. It should be brief, listing some of what you want to do in session, and your proposed date(s) and time(s).

This whole question is amazing to me since, I've been in and out of the scene for more than a few years and sessioned in my own city, when I traveled and when Mistresses traveled to my city. I've only contacted Mistresses one at a time.

My gut feeling is that if you do contact two or three Mistresses for a trip, knowing you'll only have time for one, give them time to respond and be transparent if you already made an appointment.

Read the Domme's personal scheduling etiquette! Most Dommes will expect you to read through this, fill out a questionaire and give them a time and date all in one introductory email. This saves the back and forth and they can decide to schedule with you based on your interests & availability.

Everyone has different rules, and if you are emailing multiple Dommes but not following through you may get put on a blacklist... We call them TIMEWASTERS! If you are on a tight schedule and can't give a Domme at least 24 hours to respond to an email, find one who has a booking phone number.

And yes, scheduling a week in advance is always ideal..

It depends on how you do it.

I would decide who you most would like to play with and contact her first, with enough advance notice so she has time to get back to you. How long that is may be stated on her site (e.g. 24 hours, 3 days, 1 week).

If you have not heard back in that time, contact your second choice. And so on.

Make sure you let the Domme know the specific time you're available to play. "Mistress/Goddess/Ms./etc, I will be in town next weekend and only have availability on Saturday at 2pm for 2 hours. Would be able to see me then?"

If you are in a position when you aren't going to know until the last minute, then just be prepared for an outcome that matches that.

If I receive a request from someone, whether they indicate they're in town briefly or not, and they end up not replying back to me, I usually don't think much of it. I know some Dommes are bothered by this and take it personally. I don't unless the person contacts me more than once and doesn't follow through.

If you do end up getting multiple replies and can't see everyone, just send a brief message to the Domme(s) with whom you're not booking. Thank them for their time and say you will be unable to session after all. Depending on how many messages you may have exchanged, a small tribute or gift is always a way to show respect for Her time.