Backpage and scams

Posters using Backpage to post iffy ads and perpetrate scams has always been an issue but the recent developments (the withdrawal of their credit card processors) has made it even more of a minefield. Accepting ads with a "pay later" policy has made BP even more anonymous and notorious.

Recently two subs have told Me about similar scams they fell for - A well known Mistress posts an ad in their mid sized city. They are ecstatic that a Domme of this caliber is visiting their town, so they contact them about setting up a session. They are asked for a deposit, which is a common request when a Domme travels - and once the deposit is sent, poof - they never hear from the Mistress again and in a day or two the ad disappears. I am sure this type of scam has been going on for years on BP - I just think it's odd that I have heard of two in such short succession.

The common thread with these two scams is that the Domme was recognizable by her name and photos and the sub contacted them through the means provided on backpage (either the backpage email system or a phone or email listed in the ad). If they had only gone to the Dommes official website and contacted Her there, they would have found out she was not coming to their town and the Domme would then know that Her images and reputation were being used to scam the unsuspecting.

Oddly enough neither of these subs contacted the real Mistress to tell her what was going on. I would want to know. I've had My photos used in other's ads (usually it's a Mistress in that town that tells Me about it) and I contact both the poster and backpage asking that they take them down. Backpage is actually very good about doing this. To My knowledge, I have never had My name and photos used. That would infuriate Me.

I still use backpage and I am not suggesting that subs not respond to ads, but be careful how you respond. Take the conversation off backpage and double check that the phone number and email listed on the ad match the information on the Domme's site.

If any of you have experiences/advice to share, please do.

Backpage is just as dangerous for the Mistress as the sub.
There are so many ethical places to make a connection why use BP?

It really is a must when you travel. I advertise on Eros, which is much better, but many local subs won't check Eros regularly. I see the same situation when I am resident in Atlanta - subs that travel here check backpage first.

In the past I seldom got clients from BP, in fact it was full of time wasters, but that changed and now a large percentage of new subs say that is where they first saw Me. I don't find subs that find Me on backpage to be better or worse than those that find Me other places. Actually social media is often the worst way to connect. Personally I just wish backpage would disappear - that would level the playing and make people use their search engines more.

I always tell subs who are afraid of deposits for that reason, to please verify contact info through My official website.

Some subs who were scammed were not using common sense at the time, and now think everyone is a scammer. I've heard stories from men who saw profiles on CM (now CS) or FL, saw stolen pictures of Dita Von Teese, or other well-known fetish models, and claimed they figured the Domme must be legit with photos of that caliber. I asked what they found when they went to her website, or saw her profiles on other places, and they'd always say she didn't have a profile other places, and had no website. (Facepalm)

I wrote a blog about this here: http://mistressgenesis.com/?p=75

I've used BP many, many times over the years and have never had an issue. It's unfortunate that the subs You spoke to got scammed, but I have the believe they were not thinking with the corrects heads when they sent the deposits.

ymp

ymo: I certainly think that's a big part of it, but some subs who seek Pro-Dommes were born sometime in the '30s to the '50s, and are barely able to view BP or other sites, because they struggle with the internet. Some things that you and I would take for granted, are foreign concepts because they did not grow up surrounded by technology. At least the older ones who've made contact through DDI Magazine, did their homework that way.

Great blogpost, MG. All good points that should be taken into consideration. You are a very articulate writer, by the way.

I think both you and ynp are both correct: some guys think with the wrong head and the idea of doing research doesn't enter into their decision making process. Others don't know how to research. However, I have found that older subs often do a better job of investigating than some of the younger ones, even if they might struggle with technology, but I know what you are saying.

You can right click on most photos on the web and select "Search Google for this image" and Google will show links to other places that photo appears online. I randomly did that to one on BP once of a photo that looked a little too good to be true and it came back with hundreds of results - of a motivational poster. Mmm, I'm guessing that's not who you would actually meet.

Google image search is great. It's amazing how many male subs are catalog models.

I'm ashamed to admit that I once got scammed for a $50 deposit on a session with what I thought was Paris Kennedy. Wrong! Even the smartest and most cynical of us can fall for it when the wrong head is doing the thinking.

oracle

My rule of thumb is that if the pix of a Mistress is too good to be true, it probably is. Also I want to actually speak with the Mistress on the phone to judge if she is legit. And one more point about deposits: I won't use credit cards. I will send deposits by snail mail (for traveling dominas). Over the years I sent deposits to established players who have reviews or who I have seen before. I've never been burned. That takes " the wrong head " as oracle correctly put it, out of the equation.

Part of my own screening process is to find a Mistress who is comfortable with a deposit. (Not all are, as it turns out.) This is because of the amount of pre-communication necessary to set up a good NC scene. Faux Dommes on backpage, eg, Yuri who posts in NYC, NY, Philly and elsewhere, ask for a deposit straight away.

They give a kind of one-stop-shopping vibe that is a red flag. Mistresses don't do everything imaginable. And they don't love everything imaginable. You will find that there are no wires to trip with these Mistresses. I'd like to do a session. Ok. It will involve bondage. Ok. I'll be dressed as a possum. Ok. You will too. Ok. There will be a sex change involved. Ok. But then it changes back later. Ok. Then we kill some people, bystanders mostly. Ok. We'll have to store their heads at your place. My mom is fussy. Ok. Pretty much everything is Ok as long as there's a deposit.

If you've never heard of them, can't find any info about them (google, fetlife, etc), and there is no information (including phone) to augment a few hot pics on BP and a request of upfront money, then I walk away.

It astounds me that people get scammed on BP. Websites are cheap and easy to do if a domme is in anyway serious. If a domme doesn't have one that has some kind of effort, most people just move on to the next one.

I get calls from subs who have obviously not read my webpage and I don't feel sorry nor obligated to guide them because they have been scammed before.

M

Nice to see you posting here Domina M!

Thanks for talking about this. I have had my photos stolen several times and had guys tell me about it - I've always had them taken down, thankfully on both accounts.

Because of this, I now post in my ads, in addition to my website, my twitter and instagram so that clients can further verify I am who I say I am and my ad is accurate, especially since I travel often. I also change the location for my twitter and instagram based on where I am.

I also made a "How to Screen Your Dominatrix Guide - updated 2015 that you can read on my blog: http://losangelesdominatrix.com/blog/

Stay safe and have fun!

--Mistress Justine Cross

Hello M. Justine. I get a "url not found" when I click on this. I would love to read it though. I made a video on the topic, but as @oracale said - it's mainly thinking with the wrong head that gets subs scammed.

It amazes me how many guys will ask others on these forums if they have heard of (insert backpage link) - saying, "she doesn't have a website and when I Google her nothing comes up, but she looks great". Sometimes one gets what they deserve.

And yesterday I got an email through backpage from email address "reportstolenpic@....." saying that my photos were being used in an ad in Denver. I wasn't at a computer, so I just called the number in the ad and let a message identifying myself and demanded that the pics be removed. Today the ad is down altogether. It never ends . . . one swatted down and another will crop up.

BTW, that is the second or third time I have gotten an email from that email address notifying me of stolen pic on BP. I don't know who they are, but they seem to be diligent.

Someone in New Jersey poses as me and slaves have reached out numerous times to let me know that I have an impostor on Collar Me, trying to use my image, likeness and name to offer sessions.The impostor tries to collect session deposits and even goes as far as setting up a session in a hotel. The couple slaves that reached out to me contacted me on Fetlife and they knew it wasn't me, seeing the person was offering sessions for way below proper tribute. Also, I have a distinct personality they were not seeing come from the impostor and it tipped them off.

Collar me has done nothing to take the person down years ago after I have contacted them numerous times, as well as multiple submissives/slaves.

On a funny note, a company out of China has a photo of me trying to pass of my Stormy Leather corset for an 8.00 pvc/rubber corset My friends get a trip off of this.

My advise is exactly as Mistress Ayn suggests, find a domme through backpage/eros, contact them on the information provided on their website just to make sure everything is legit.