No Blindfold Request

Is this reasonable to ask for? It isn't a limit. Sometimes I like it. But I have an upcoming session with a Mistress for the first time. I really want to soak it all in visually. In the spirit of not peppering her with the dozens of questions going through my mind, any advice would be appreciated. Is this a common request?

I think the blindfolds may be for the prodommes, and not so much for their clients.

That is an interesting perspective. This might be a stupid question, coming from someone who is brand new to this. But why would a prodom prefer their customer to be blindfolded?

They might not want that kind of emotional intensity with a stranger.

I think for most it represents another way to give up control. Letting go of your ability to see, is another way of submitting. It can also bring up emotions like fear, anticipation, teasing and so on. I think most Dommes who blindfold are doing it to play with these types of emotions. I believe most Dommes use a blindfold in an attempt to add this type of excitement to a session and it is totally well meaning.

I think the OP is concerned it might have the opposite effect. That not being able to see the gorgeous sexy Domme in the room with them may be a bit disconnecting in the session. I think this is true for the first few sessions with a Domme. Typically, I've not liked blindfolds for just that reason, I want to see who I'm enduring for and I want to see how happy she is at my suffering. There is no bigger turn on than seeing the joy in a Dommes eyes. So there is a bit of a disconnect, especially if we are establishing our S/m dynamic when the blindfold goes on.

That being said, sensory deprivation (sight in this case) can be a wonderful tool when the S/m dynamic with the Domme is established and strong. Under those conditions I was recently subjected to a tight, restrictive full rubber hood with no eye or nose holes and only a tube for the mouth. It was very claustrophobic in there and a bit scary when she put her hand over the breathing tube or tortured me in other ways. But the fact that we had such a strong connection made it an amazing experience. I was able to let go and endure this form of torment for her. And while I couldn't see her, I could hear her enjoyment of my predicament, which made it so, so sexy.

My advice is that if you are hesitant about something like a blindfold, mention it. Say it's something that you need to work up and might feel comfortable with after you interact a bit first. You don't need to pepper her with a bunch of emails, I shoot for one or two to discuss interests and only write more if I'm asked additional questions.

Hope this helps.

It's not a super common request in my experience, but it's one of gotten a couple of times and it's never bothered me. That said, I am not particularly fond of blindfolds and rarely use them anyway.

A line in your email about "I've enjoyed blindfolds occasionally, but would rather not use them in this particular session" shouldn't be a big deal.

I have often asked for no blindfolds for the exact reason that you mention. I want to take it all in.

I also often request no gags as i like to communicate during session.

Both requests have always been honored and well received.

When it comes to Dommes, sessions and how they approach that work (and fun) the only truth is that everyone is different. So, the things I am going to mention may apply to just a few or may apply to a majority of Dommes but definitely some and definitely not all... So, whether it matters is really just personal preference on the Domme's part.

For some, the play within a session is also a performance so blindfolding the sub means they don't have to pay attention to the visual part of what the sub is experiencing for at least part of it (and they can dip in and out of it by sliding the blindfold off for a few seconds at a time and putting it back on). That takes a bit of pressure off of them.

Another reason for some is that they don't have to wear heels or corsets the whole time (I have been told by several Dommes that as soon as the blindfold goes on, the heels come off). I have noticed, more than once, a different "costume" at the end of the session than what a Domme was wearing when I first entered the room (and since I don't make clothing requests, I have told Dommes that if something is uncomfortable then not to put it on in the first place for me... But, the reply is usually that putting those things on is part of what gets then into that headspace so it is more about them than me).

I have only freaked out (panic attack) during a session twice and in both cases it involved a triple combination of tight restraint, heavy corporal and a blindfold. It is not an experience i want to have again so I have made Dommes aware of that since the last incident. I have no problems otherwise with being blindfolded for part of a session. On occasion it has been a slight enhancement.

As to why Dommes use blindfolds my experience that for the most part it is a change of pace, a way to give a segment of a session a different flavor. As for Asp's theory that it gives them an opportunity to slip out of uncomfortable outfits, that might be true in some cases but I've been blindfolded during sessions when they were wearing street clothes (as I've aged outfits have become less and less important to me)

Oh no... I wasn't saying that was the only reasons Dommes use them in a session. I was only mentioning one reason why some Dommes might like to use them in response to Scooby's follow-up question.

There are tons of reasons to use blindfolds as a Dominant and I just didn't want to repeat what others had already been mentioned. I agree with your theory as well and would throw in the fact that with a blindfold you literally don't know what is coming so it is very useful for a Domme who wants a reaction when switching toys or even gears during a session.

On a different note, I am not there for the outfits either so I leave it up to the Domme to wear whatever she wants. Funnily enough though, I have gone out to lunch/dinner with a Domme after a session & thought she looked way hotter in her street clothes than what she wore in the session so I totally get your point on that. The Woman makes the clothes... Not the other way around.

My advise would be to wait a few days before the session to include anything that you didn't think of when booking the session. You are correct not to, as you put it, pepper her with random questions or concerns. In regard to the blindfold request, it is entirely acceptable to share your desires with a paid professional. But, remember she is a paid professional for a reason. While sharing your feelings on the session, I think you'd be best to let it be known that details like blindfolds are up to her discretion. At some point, you've got to let your feelings be known and, with the exception of hard limits, hand over the reigns to lady whom you've booked with.

This is an interesting thought. I've never looked vision restriction in this way. Perhaps, some doms do. It is a great sub topic. I hope no one minds that I changed the subject bar for my response to your post.

My experience as a dom was all about sharing emotional intensity with the client. In fact, activities aside, it was the point of the session. Hmmm...the purpose that blindfolds had in my sessions was creating the best mindset for the playtime. In many ways it was foreplay. There were a few session requests for no blindfolds. In some cases, I asked the client to trust me and allow it, at times, when I felt it would add to our time together. It was a great tease and build up for when the blindfold came off. Other sessions, blindfold use wouldn't have even crossed my mind. But, when I have used one, it was for every reason except for keeping myself emotionally distant from my client. This brings up yet another great sub topic, which is the emotional investment in sessions. Eventually, I will start a thread on this. Your post was very thought provoking. I think it will lead to good discussion on a variety of topics.

Here I thought it was my original idea to use the element of surprise through a blindfold, by changing wardrobe. LOL. One of my clients was majorly into latex bondage and sensory deprivation. I'd love to surprise him by removing his blindfold, only to be wearing an intense latex hood that he'd not seen me in before...all the while was he deep in subspace and not expecting it. Other times, I'd have an intimidating set of new toys out that he hadn't seen before. Your post is brought back a lot of fun memories.

+1

Thanks everyone, for your advise and experiences. It has been very helpful.