When Does Your Session Begin?

From the time you start thinking about it? After you make an appointment? At the time you walk through the door?

When does end?
Do you switch back into every day life mode or relive it in your mind for a while?

Just curious.

Great question that is not asked enough!

To me a good start into a session is as important as a good foreplay in vanilla...

During the whole session I like to be under physical control. So for me a session starts once I am tied up or chained down. Hence the process of restraining me doesn't really count as session yet for me - at least mentally. Something I always mention in my pre-session briefing.
So if she starts to command me around or inflicts pain before I am restrained, it makes for a bad start and is often a sign that she didn't pay attention to the pre-session conversation.

About the end:
The longer it takes me to get back my "every day mind" the better :-)

I am new to all of this. It is doubtful that I will have an actual session. 2 years ago I met and moved in with a woman who is on the kinky side of life. Most of the time our life is normal. But when she gives me that look when I leave for work, all day I am distracted with what will happen when I get home. Once she sent me to Home Depot with an interesting list. I didn't get it at first. But, by the time I got to the cash register, my head was spinning. So, I'd say, as soon as I know it's going down, the experience starts for me.

For the past year I’ve been seeing a fantastic Domme who I have great chemistry with and the sessions keep getting better and better. She brings out the submission in me and has pushed me pain wise and marks wise further then I’ve ever gone. So to answer your questions it seems like it’s gotten to the point that my mind is always reliving the last session or thinking about the next chance to see her again.

I don’t mean my mind is on her 100% of the time but I think about seeing her everyday , especially during idle moments when nothing is going on. I hear my screaming and begging in my head and think about the next time whenever that may be and how I know i am probably going to hurt and suffer even more.

Cool question.

For me. It was always as soon as i scheduled

I always liked to schedule about a week out and then start thinking and planning for it. The anticipation was almost as good as the session. My sessions also now include some sort of social time normally a nice dinner and that just built the anticipation. For the last few years I've generally just sessioned with dominas i know so it was fun to exchange a few texts leading up to it and start to get into the right head space.

For a while i would schedule my next session as soon as i was done with my last. Post session chat. It could be a month out. But just putting it on the books was exciting and in kind of a strange way made me feel accepted. Like im good enough and fun enough as a sub that she wants to schedule me for the future.

Now its a little different. I haven't done a live session in 2020. But ive been doing online domination and i cant believe how much ive fallen for it. Its a long term pro domme relationship and the part i really enjoy is we can session virtually at a moment notice. Its brought femdom into my house which at first i was uncomfortable with but now it makes it feel all the more real.

I have mentioned in other threads that I often experience a form of subspace before a session. It varies. Sometimes it is strongest the night before then is weaker in the morning only to rekindle about an hour before the session.

I guess that I don't get too wired up prior to a session, as i am worrying about all the logistics - often travel is involved. I mean I'm excited about what is to come, but the real magic starts when I walk in the door. Once I'm there the excitement level rises dramatically! I totally get into the moment. The aura of simply being in the company of "my" Domme is so exciting! Often we do a lunch after - can you guess why we do morning sessions? Wink. It is mainly about being in Her presence and making sure She is having fun.

One thing i do experience is some pretty strong sub-drop. She has been great in helping me with that, and i so appreciate all She does.

I do ride on a wave of memories for days!

My sessions start months before it happens. I don't session that much, but I make a whole story about it, literally speaking... I like to book my sessions months before if possible, so that I can enjoy it even more. The anticipation is so nice to me.

Sometimes, my favorite part of the whole thing even is the moment when I have to answer a questionnaire, to disclose myself.

And my sessions end months after it happened. I like to think, I like to dream. After a great session, I don't feel the need to book a new one for months, as reliving my favorite moments, writing about it, then read what I wrote is enough for me. It can even go further than that: for more than a year I've been regularly dreaming at night of a Domme I saw only two times so far.

But I'm not really the most spontaneous man in the world

"About the end:
The longer it takes me to get back my "every day mind" the better :-) "

It reminds me of motto for a good work out. You know it was good when you feel it for days.

That is so cool. I love the way your girlfriend sent you to the hardware store with suggestive list of items. Years ago, I was friends with the owners of Paul C Leather and his wife. They loved their play but also enjoyed a vanilla life. When one of them wanted to play, they'd subtly leave a particular bracelet out in the morning. (The only people I've met so far that have a bracelet fetish.) So, all day, they'd both be thinking about it.

That sounds great. It has been a while since we've talked. When you get a chance, give me a call. I'd love to hear the fun details. Hmmm....wondering if I can guess the dom you are talking about.

You bring up an interesting aspect of feeling accepted afterwards. Some of my clients really needed that. To this day, one of my best friends is a client I saw weekly and up until I retired. He felt better being friends with his dom.

It is great too that you are having fun with online play. In the old days, it was mail training...much less interaction.

From a dom's standpoint, I love the sub being in that space. Some don't experience it at all or have an interest in it. But, at least for me, riding that wave of special headspace was a big part of the fun.

I served Goddess Vegas, from the city of the same name, for five years and kept in touch two or three years after she retired. We would see each other two, three times a year. She discretely found out about my likes and limits, would go over what role play we might perform... but she provided no details. "Anticipation is the key." That was her mantra and, as always, she was correct.

She would tour to the East Coast maybe once a year and I traveled to Vegas or the West Coast twice a year, so whenever we got our dates scheduled the anticipation began. We would email, she would indulge me with couple of phone calls... just writing about it I can remember the deep, deep subspace she took me to.

So the sessions began with the scheduling all the way through to after the session. Once when she was in my city I blew my budget and did a session with her very early the next morning after one the previous afternoon. I couldn't get enough. Sometimes I'd call leaving my Vegas hotel or when I got home to thank her... and she'd say goodbye saying, "You have my permission." Hell of a high and subspace. Those were the days.

What a great website you have. Well done and well put together. I read through some of your thoughts and interviews. I can see where you like to live in the head space for a while and share your thoughts. Hmmmm....never thought about it like that but part of the gift of writing is about head space.

Thank you so much!
I first started writing about my sessions to release my emotions, then I progressively gained interest for everything that revolves around BDSM.

Thank you

Being a friend with my domina is as important as the actual session
Not everyone is like that but it has always worked for me and ive built some amazing relationships. None better than what i have now. Ive always felt the nicer a mistress is to me outside of a session, the more she can fuck me up in session.

Ive always viewed the money i spend on domination not as a payment for a session but as a way to support and maintain an important relationship in my life.

In terms of online it takes some creativity but its been successful. We mix in domination with vanilla interactions. I think it would be tough to do some of the extreme stuff. But my interests are much more FLR than BDSM and it has worked well for that.

When does a session begin. Honestly I feel it begins weeks if not days before the actual session. If the session requires any preparation, then obviously it begins at that point since you're being instructed to prepare. When it comes to when the actual play beginning I honestly enjoy those minutes before we begin where we chat to see how things are. I've often found those conversations most enlightening and quite frankly its nice to be able to speak to someone and get their opinion on things. When it comes to ending, I often find myself have the sub drop as I'm driving away. Sometimes I feel that the session accomplished all I was looking for but sometimes I feel like we have some unfinished business.

touché!