Do your BDSM Interests Shift?

Do you interests stay pretty much the same or do you find you them shifting from one fetish to another? Some of my clients, over the years, seemed to stay within very specific interests. Some of them even wanted the exact same scenario. About half, were just flat out freaks who were always coming across different fetishes to explore. (I say freaks with affection, btw.) A close friend, who was a long time client prior to my retirement, cracks me up. Every few months, he'll call me asking for advise on his new fetish trend. How is it for you?

Mistress, I wouldn't say shift. I'd say evolve. I had my first session in college during Watergate... so I'm up there in age. Not really active anymore. As a horny young man I wanted to meet beautiful, exotic women... and wasn't dating. Desperate, I found Screw magazine, saw the BDSM ads, got excited and said to myself, "Hey, if I have to get spanked to worship a gorgeous woman, so be it." Being almost naked in front of a half naked gorgeous (and back then usually older) woman, was intoxicating. I did things I never thought I'd be turned on by, and eventually began to request those things again and again, especially with Dominas I saw repeatedly.

Worshiping high heels (I quickly stopped that and moved to nude feet and toes), worshiping legs, thighs, being tied up on a cross, light bondage, getting slapped, spanked, pinched, eventually butt plugs (but never strap-ons), orally worshiping strap-ons, sessioning with female bodybuilders as muscular as me and being dominated (I'm big guy and most times in shape and they were so strong), scissoring, even GS in some forms, sessioning with TS (once fooled/one by choice), shaving a Domina's intimate area (once), being a bath slave and masseur, play in public areas (parking lots, hotel stairways, city piers)... all enormous turn-ons with the right ladies. Years ago never thought I'd do all that.

I've written this before, I've been lucky. All were real pros, and if they got to know me knew how much to stretch my boundaries without breaking them. THAT is an art. As I look back there have been two constants: I love being a male exhibitionist... for one Mistress at a time; and I love beautiful, imaginative and intelligent women. And not necessarily in that order.

The short answer is Definitely Yes

The long answer can be found in my post to this old thread

http://domina.ms/~domroot/thebuzz/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1957#Post1957

You've had amazing experiences. I applaud you for exploring your interests to the fullest. Life is too short to suppress what we find amazing. Yes, evolve is a good way to put it growing interests.

Thanks for sharing this link. If I may ask, how did spanking come about at the strip clubs? It sounds like you an open minded man who is up for whatever is fun at the moment. That is totally cool.

Personally, I think mine have somewhat shifted or rather the interest has decreased significantly due to lack of pro(s) willing to do it locally. I used to be really interested in needle play but as of the last two years, it has decreased significantly due to lack of pro(s) who were proficient in it or listed it as an interest. I've always liked enduring needle play down below but in the DC market there is not enough pro-dommes who list it as a interest. I've asked a few who were into medical play and they seemed less than interested in it. But also at the same time, the ones I've contacted who said yes, their level of needle play actually was beyond what I was comfortable with. Not sure if out of fear I decided not to try needle play with them was the reason I decided not to.

Do you think that those interested in more intense needle play than you are couldn't or wouldn't be a fit for a session more on your level? Also, it is curious that there has been a shift away from these type of activities. It has never been my thing. But, in my day as an active session dom, it was quite common. Why do you think there was a shift away from needle play?

In most (but not all) establishments it was permitted in their champagne rooms. If you are asking how it first came about here is another link:

http://domina.ms/~domroot/thebuzz/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=5979#Post5979

Good question to ask. To be honest, I based my decision on any scene photos I could find of them. Without naming who I opted not to really pursue the needle play with in the Washington DC area but her images of needle play in certain areas just didn't agree with me. I have certain areas that I try to keep virgin from play due to medical reasons since I have to use those areas for insulin infusion but also at the same time, those other areas didn't appeal to me since they are unfortunately too sensitive for needle play. I've tried them in the past and unfortunately the pain level was not something I was really comfortable with. I feel needle play has shifted for me due it being more on the backburner of types of play I'm more interested in doing due to lack of play partners. I went from seeing one mistress exclusively up until 3 years ago and basically jumped around till I started to see a specific one in the area. After discussing the situation with the mistress I used to see to determine if she thought the one I'm seeing now was a good fit for what I liked in terms of play. I'm actually hoping to broaden my interests more with her in the near future since I don't have to deal with a 2.5 hour drive to see someone now but obviously would still make the drive to see the ones I also saw in other cities rather than cease any interaction with them.

Great question. For sure mine have shifted. Up until about a year ago i was big into ball busting for 20+ yrs. ive done tons of sessions but it slowly started to fade and now ive lost interest. Strap on, humiliation, wrestling, cbt, bondage, foot worship, GS. Etc. At some point or another ive tried most things. But now in my 40s my kinks run very vanilla. Its basically chastity and findom (done right). But i really like submitting, giving up control and making m y Mistress’s life better. I just don't get turned on by getting my ass kicked to achieve that.

I will be interested to hear how things go in your explorations. Yes, not having to drive 2.5 hours to get to a session would be a good thing. :-)

I've seen a lot of men shift away from heavy corporal over time. It is almost as if it runs it's course for some. You mentioned strap on play. For the first part of my career, I was not even remotely interested in it. I wouldn't even wear one for a photo shoot. Then, on one of my visits to Irene Boss's compound, she coaxed me into trying one on for a shoot. It just felt so cool and fun. It was an epiphany moment. I've loved strap on play ever since.

That's an excellent question for discussion, Cheyenne. I read your post about getting into strap on and that's how it's been for me with several fetishes. Medical play was like that for me. As I am sure you will remember from your days as a pro, clients request/introduce you to things you might not have an interest in or might not have ever explored otherwise. It's one of the things I have always liked about being a pro.

On a slightly different subject - has anyone noticed a trend to a specific fetish during the challenges with the virus? I have sissies coming out of the woodwork.

Lovely Mistresses, some of us were always sissies we just needed a Domme to force it or pull it out of us. My interests have varied over the years from sissification, to needle and medical play like a mock castration or forced enemas, to Forced Femme assignments, to total transformation outings, to s/o (thank you Mistress Ayn), to permanent chastity under my Mistress’ control with periodic milkings with a Tomo, to being brutally flogged, whipped, and caned, to making me drink her nectar any time she desires, and now my Mistress has been working on me using a Noogleberry 2 times daily to continually stretch out my breasts while she fills each one of them with a full bag of saline in our sessions to expand them even further and now the discussion of Forced Bi to begin my slut training while she tops me. Finally I love when asked to perform a service which is rare and depends on both our work schedules should I be luck enough for them to mesh.

I will certainly let you know once I broaden my interests. I think the hardest part is deciding on pulling the trigger and asking to do something different. I've been thinking about rediscovering cbt again and possibly venturing into impact play but the thought process always involves asking yourself "Do you really want to?" and "Are you prepared for the pain it may involve?"

That is incredibly interesting about sissy play becoming more popular during the pandemic. What do you make of it?

My feeling is that people have been locked away with their own thoughts, and secret desires are bubbling to the surface. Without the usual distractions of sports, parties, etc. more people are acting on there fantasies. (During the worst of the lock downs in late spring and early summer, I had a ton of really young guys wanting to explore BDSM for the first time.) Cross dressers are habitually "closet" dwellers and maybe they feel the cover of the virus gives them impetus to finally make it happen.

The flaw in that logic is that I have seen young, single guys that have no reason to hide as well as long term cross dressers that have purged and come back to their kink - and everything in between.

I have a long time sissy client that I spoke with about this. He is a scientist and approached the subject from a scientist's mind. He brought up a study on the effects of overpopulation and "aberrant" behavior. Evidently there were male rates labeled "the beautiful ones" that withdrew and groomed constantly. It was a fascinating discussion, for sure.

More about the study:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_B._Calhoun