Telling people your into Femdom

Ive started to be a little more open about my participation in the femdom lifestyle. Like all of us i am occasionally asked about my relationship status, family etc. Im single and i used to just tell people that. In some situations ive started to tell people that i’m a submissive and practice consensual bdsm or domination. Its actually been a relief and ive been surprised by the curiosity and openness of people. Im careful about when i say this and who i say it to. It takes a little reading the room and i wouldn't say it at work for instance but its been nice to be honest and not make excuses for my relationship status.

Do other dommes or subs share their interest in domination with their vanilla world?

No, I keep it private. That's why this forum is a good thing for me. I consider myself more or a fetishist, so there would never really be much to talk about or any deep thought surrounding it. I just get turned on by women with strapons and in their attire, but never into a submissive role
e or emotional involvement.

Congratulations... I think that is f'n awesome and truly wish I could do the same.

Unfortunately for me, I am not financially independent enough to be able to take the risk of losing my career (which is funny to say since I am unemployed at the moment).

Kudos to you. I've always had empathy for single people (especially submissive guys) who have to make the decision if and when to disclose this to a date/potential partner. I've seen too many clients get into relationships, not tell the significant other, and think they can just shut this down. Usually the relationship fails or they end up doing sessions on the sly.

I've always been pretty open about my lifestyle. It just didn't come up much in ordinary situations and I have never worn it on my sleeve. Now of course, I have the question of "what do you do for a living?" and I usually opt to just tell people I don't know that I am a consultant. I don't want to invite problems. However, I could not be friends with someone that didn't know and accept my lifestyle and profession.

You shameless hussy. LOL. I love it.

I hate the what do you do for a living question. It gets easier when you are older because people just assume you retired early. When you are young, once you tell someone about your occupation, it seems to be a distraction to most and becomes how you are known. When you get past 50, no one cares. Even the most vanilla of people have life stories that are equally crazy, by that point in life. It is an upside to aging. To the OT, if someone feels comfortable letting it all hang out, good for them. But, in no way should they feel that their kinks are anyone else's business unless they want them to be.

No, cause my sex life isn’t anyone else business. Just like I don’t care if someone else is gay or into BDSM themselves.

I only care if someone else is into BDSM if it negatively affects my ability to set the time and date I want for a session appointment.

Lots of people I know know I receive caning, whippings and other things. I have at times told strangers if and when we were in a conversation, such as when I was on a plane trip to see a domme and that person had an interest in learning.

Be honest. Did you put "your" instead of "you're" in the title in hopes of being slapped by one of the dommes here?

There are fifty shades of gray when you deal with people identities or their privacy. I think that for you this is important because you see this interest as defining to your identity. If this is the case a forum like this is a good place for discussions because you can be completely honest and there are no consequences.

I am tempted to raise many issues which might seem as controversial here as your confessions could be to your vanilla friends, and eventually I think I will.

Be careful with what you do because once you do it the cat is out of the bag and it is irreversible. It might be the right thing to do for you but only the very closest of your friends could understand your situation well enough to give you good advise.

You nailed it.

To be sure i pick and choose my spots and err on the side of caution. I wouldn’t tell someone i work with.

I also understand why many would want to be private about this lifestyle.

Good to hear all the responses.

I applaud you. What you don't realize is that you are doing important work. The more people practice honesty, the more honesty is normalized. When we are honest about being kinky people, the fear about what that means is lessened. That can have a ripple effect on those around us which in turn can affect society as a whole.



I assume that when you say "domination" you mean *erotic* domination. People who know me know I'm a dominant personality, so it's nothing I need to discuss. And most of those I know also know I'm kinky and make a living at it. This includes members of my family. I prefer to live a life in which I don't feel like I'm guilty for something I shouldn't feel guilty about -- especially when what I do is consensually practiced and it brings me joy.

Would had loved to known you personally.

Thank you, ryancbtbb. I'm not sure what you mean by "personally", but I do allow people to know me through sessions.

Please stop looking at me like that. LMAO!