changing limits over time

Some subs have a limit about how much pain they will take or if they will have a safeword during corporal punishment or whipping. Other subs, maybe most have a limit against scat in the mouth or scat at all.

So the question is either for dommes or subs. If you are a sub and you had these limits, and then you either changed them or let them be overcome or pushed, how did it happen?

If you are domme, have you persuaded some subs to drop or change their limit, or did it seem to happen naturally?

There are what seem to be dozens of short posts here on fisch or domina or in the blogs of some dommes of guys who had "limit A" and who decided to change or drop "limit A" after a few sessions.

Or, in a session, the sub was so impressed and happy with the domme that he gave her permission in any future sessions to push past what had been his limits and he was agreeing to drop them for her.

One story on a blog is of a domme who banished a guy from seeing her for several months for him to think about his limit or his pushiness and he actually did come back to see her again after a year, though the limit in his case was not scat but his attitude to a corporal punishment.

Who has a story to tell?

I was thinking about this the other day. My limits have changed over time but they've gone the other direction. My pain tolerance has gotten lower, my kinks have become more vanilla, and my limits have become stricter.

What has never changed is that i love to submit. Sessions are now tamer than they used to be. More mental domination, service, chastity etc. my sessions and thoughts tend to just focus on how i can make my dommes life better. Its actually a bit boring compared to what i used to do. I am sort of obssesed with how i can make submission feel real inside the boundaries of a pro domme relationship. In my bdsm relationships there is a lot less BDM but a lot of S and it does feel like true submission which i really enjoy.

ya think?

Good point, spark. I have had quite a few clients go the same way and usually it involves less interest in pain and more in the mental - just like you. So, you are not alone.

I too have had my personal limits shrink. I used to participate in things just for the experience, not because it was an actual kink of mine. I now have limits regarding blood play, age play and a few other things that would just make me feel like I had a bad job if I did them by request.

I have the impression that the limits you have in mind are quantitative like in how much can you? There are changes overtime, but probably the qualitative changes are as large like in what are your hard limits?

Not to mention that I have so many limits, which increase with aging, and I think that my vanilla limits change even faster.

When someone establishes limits with me I don't fuck with them. I believe it is profoundly disrespectful and sabotages the cultivation of trust.

That said, I have asked people if I can inquire further for clarification about them. Because I've learned that what some people think is a limit is actually something else.




Yes, this happens. Whether it's because someone trusts you more than they did the previous session or because their consciousness and curiosity are expanding. It's happened for me, too.



Even when someone changes a limit with me -- especially if it's a major change -- I still sometimes ask to make sure that they aren't changing it because they think they "have to" or because it will impress me. Even more so if they suggest making changes during a scene, as I usually assume they are "under the influence".