Remembering the old days

New member, but a veteran of the professional BDSM scene.

I used to session a lot in the late 90s and early 2000s and boy I met some fantastic ladies back then. The New York scene was hopping and I was fortunate that I got to travel somewhat and also had a few adventures to Europe.

Almost all of the ladies I met back then have retired from the professional scene now. In fact I would imagine there are not many Pro Dommes who worked in the year 2000 still working now.

These days I tend to session professionally once or twice a year as a special treat but I guess tastes have changed quite a lot. For example I would say that back then the standard image of the Domme was fully leatherclad including gloves and thigh boots and even beginning Mistresses had at least one good pair of boots.

Of course things change and the look of Mistress dressed in full leather isn't so common these days which for me is a shame, but I guess I am a bit out of date.

I might use this thread to reminisce a bit in my old age (though I am still young at heart) about some of my experiences and compare them with others. I hope that's ok and I look forward to being a member of the board.

Ah the old days. My first session was in 1999 i was 21 years old so not sure That makes me qualified to post on this thread or not. But I remember looking through maxfisch everybday waiting for new ads to be posted. I found some of my dommes through ads in the back of local independent newspapers.

You are right leather was in and it seems like the menu of fetishes was limited to spanking, whipping, getting tied up. I thought i was extreme when i had to go in and explain that i wasnt in to that but would they be willing to kick me in the balls and make fun of me for an hour straight even if it wasnt “on the menu”.

It feels like the internet has escalated domination rather quickly and man has the scene changed. Its been good for me as it has evolved to my tastes. But i get the nostalgia.

One nice change is that i no longer feel like im alone like i did back then. Theres a lot of people as kinky as me and their easy to find.

Welcome to the board.

Hello "oldguy57"
Please tell me that 57 is at least the year you were born and not your age, cuz if you think 57 makes you an old guy, you aint seen nuthin yet!
Nice to read a new voice,
The Driver.....hangin on by the hair on my chinney chin chin

I was 22 in 1999. Being in NJ there’s lots of pro Dommes in the NYC area. A few months ago some posters we’re talking about some scenes that Dommes don’t seem to do anymore. I think with the Internet era and smart phones changed a lot of things have in the S&M scene from 20 years ago.

OldGuy57, welcome!
Well, you opened the door so I might as well walk right in. If 57 is your age I'm about 10 years older than you. As several of my posts have indicated I've been in and out of the scene since I was 20 in the early '70s NYC through last year. Retired down South now and given where I am and where my Mistress is, NYC, I'm probably retired from sessions too so I've been reminiscing a lot recently.

I'll center on the mid '90s, when I got back into the scene, to 2001. During that period, even when the web emerged with MaxFisch around 1999, Feminine Mystique, Screw, NY Magazine's personal ads (with no pics!) and other print mags were go to places to get info on new Dominas. To be a sub on the phone, and only the phone to go by, with a Domina and no pics was an art form to ask respectful questions and see if you were compatible. (Dominas has to be comfortable with you too.)

Whenever I got back into sessions I'd find out what Belle de Jour was doing, my first Mistress, and while she was retired by then she had a couple of places in Manhattan and would recommend Dominas I would like such as Mistress Paloma at a W. 14th St. dungeon she invested in. Mistress Melora in the East 60s sessioned out of her apartment and was big and physical enough to be a wrestler, and I'm big and physical too, so she was a handful! It was a preview of the female bodybuilder scene I got into in the early to mid 2000s.

Of the Dominas I met through the web, I was an Empress Dominque regular from 1998 to 2001 when she shared her own dungeon in Jersey City, a skilled Mistress and gorgeous woman. She had her own forum on MaxFisch, as well as Mistress Persephone who, for a time was based at Arena Blaze in Manhattan and loved the goth / horror look and reminded me of a 1950s horror or scifi actress, dangerously sexy. I also sessioned at Tara Indiana's place and met Mistress Paige, who was an athletic Amazon and had that Bettie Page look. That was popular then too.

But a lot of the '90s ads, and the Mistresses, had that black leather, boots, corset look some have mentioned. Some young Mistresses, those I did not session with, had that "Madonna MTV Video" domina look. (Eh...)

As for sessions I was lucky since the Dominas I saw like or were willing to do my "Amazon Queen vs captured Tarzan" scene with light spanking, light bondage, tease & denial and some (NOT the Empress OR Persephone) body worship. The latter was extensive in the '70s, disappeared in the '80s due to HIV, and made a limited comeback in the '90s.

I met one Mistress in '96 or '97 based in a small Queens dungeon who I sessioned with off and on ever since, especially the past four years or so. She is UTR so I won't mention her name. Met her through the no picture NY Magazine listings. Haven't seen her since last fall and we have not been in touch the past month or more, and we have been close. I expect any day to here she has moved on too.

Great memories though with all the ladies. If you want to hear about the '70s and '80s, ask away.

With high unemployment, pretty much count on a bunch of girls becoming webcam girls, dommes, escorts, legal prostis, fake dommes, etc.

18 year olds will begin exposing themselves to sell Onlyfans subscriptions. Picture the Target Cashier doing this on the side.

Kids are not going back to school because schools were largely there to serve as babysitters for industrial age workers. These workers are no longer needed since AI is taking over. Jobs are never coming back.

Good news for us.... escorts are about to become much cheaper. People will be sitting at home receiving a universal basic income and some females will turn to being dommes and webcam sluts. All this means lower prices for us and more selection.

We may even see girls trying to murder each other to compete. Get ready folks, it'll be a brave new world.

Hi all. I was born in 57, so I am a bit old

Certainly jealous of the two posters who got into BDSM in their 20s. I hope you had some great times while you were young and naive.

My first experiences were when I lived in London in the 90s where you would get a card from one of those quaint red telephone boxes and call the number. You never really knew what you were going to get and who the lady would be when you got there.

You had your heart in your mouth as you usually went up some narrow stairs. Often there was a maid, who set up all the appointments for the Domme and you paid her a couple of pounds in addition to your session fee. Generally it seemed to be for half hour and you would do mainly one thing, at least that is how it was for me. OTK spanking maybe, or the English like caning. I had mixed experiences but once met a fabulously stern and beautiful rubenesque lady in leather who gave me my first (but not my last) leather gloved face slapping. Sadly next time I tried the number it was dead and I never saw her again.

But yes the internet changed everything. The late 90s/ early 2000s were a real sweet spot. For the first time you could see all these wonderful Dominant ladies, you could see their outfits, their gear, you could read their thoughts and desires. Hell there was even some primitive video around!

You could really get an idea of who you were going to meet if you put in the research. Of course, there were still houses, especially in New York, where you could walk in and just pick someone right then. And for sure there were some future stars who honed their craft in houses and went on to be the best of the best. But still it was a gamble, albeit a convenient one. The play parties at places like Paddles were a good option too.

New York seemed like the epicenter and I had a bunch of mindblowing times in the Big Apple. At first I dabbled in houses, but soon I would gravitate towards the independent ladies who had been in the business for a while and honed their craft. I liked to meet sadistic and smart ladies and boy I hit the jackpot.

Florida was also a state where I had some wild and memorable encounters. I had no idea it would be such a hot spot for professional BDSM, or maybe I just got lucky. Also spectacular times in the midwest, but I didn't get out and sample the scene on the West Coast until much later, so I missed out on meeting some of the superstars like Ilsa Strix and Petra Saint.

I will write more about some of the ladies I met next time.

Wow Belle de Jour was your first Domme, that is a very smart or lucky pick by you.

Mistress Persephone was one that got away for me. I always thought she had a fantastic look and cool tattoos to boot. But I did meet Empress Dominique once. Yes she was truly stunning. I recall a very striking publicity photo she had with a fearsome looking dog who was probably actually a total cutie. It is possible that both these ladies are still sessioning? So perhaps I didn't miss my chance after all.

57, I agree with you about the late ‘90s, early 2000s era. I was on Fetlife.com three, four years ago, not now, and the Empress is in Florida and was then active on a limited basis I think. Mistress Persephone was a piece of work. Second of three sessions, an 11 pm or so appt, and she really slapped me around when when she broke a nail doing something to me. LOL! I checked in the last year or so and she moved back to California and may still be active.

In that late ‘90s / early 2000s period NYC was great but I always thought SF was a great hub too. Classic Dominas. As for Florida, the Tampa area, the west coast, is a Mecca for female bodybuilders, many who are dominant. Also plenty of traditional Dominas there. I never played there, just what I’ve seen online and the bodybuilders from there I played with in NYC. Miami was hot too. But all my memories - most recent - are before February this year, pre-Covid 19 times. Don’t know first hand what’s going on now.

I love these "memory lane" threads.

I guess for me, a New Yorker, my favorite times were the houses of the late '80s/early '90s, most specifically Angel Stern's (23rd St. was the best, and then 25th St.), and the second incarnation of Nutcracker (25th St., I believe). At the former I especially liked Veronika and Helena, and at the latter Isabella Sinclaire. A few years later Mistress Elizabeth's came on the scene, and while the rooms weren't as great, there were so many fantastic dommes who began their careers there, including Diana Balance, the late Gael, Karen, Alicia, Adrienne (also RIP) and Blake, who, along with Alicia, is still doing sessions.

I remember there was a stretch where there seemed to be a new house every few months. Now, I can't imagine we'll see a new house in NY anytime in the near or medium-range future.

Regarding the classic full leather look, yes, it's not so much in vogue now. I was lucky to be in Germany a while ago and sessioned with Mistress Bella Lugosi at Studio Avalon. She's fantastic and with a great leather wardrobe.

I loved the old days. It was so exciting. Not sure if it was because it was new and fresh or if the dommes were indeed better. I certainly had some great sessions after 2010. But my first session was at Nutcracker around 1993. Then Pandora's Box at the old location. The medical room there was spectacular with a surgical table suspended from the ceiling. So many great dommes. Tchera was a favorite.

The session back then seemed to have much more ambiance. it was like a fantasy come to life rather than someone going through the motions. I can honestly say the % of bad sessions was far less than what you would find today.

Also, dommes seemed to be more liberal. They did not shy away from touching you. Strapon was openly advertised. Many allowed body worship. Starting a session with a Mistress sitting on your face, and smelling her scent on you for the rest of the session is definitely arousing.

I understand all the reasons why things changed. But honestly, I do miss the old days.

I had a session with Persephone. She gave me the hardest beating I ever took in my life. Easily like 3-4x harder than anyone else. I was hoping for a sensual sessions. LOL.

I think the difference was that I was unable to call my safeword. She gagged me and gave me a hairbrush and told me to drop it if it became too intense. But the hard she beat me me, the harder I held onto the brush. When I regained the ability to let go for the brush, she would hit me again. I never screamed so loud in my life too. But, she just laughed and said, "I love to heard you voice hit that high pitch," and just hit me again.

I have to admit, I loved it, but I never dared go back for more.

I miss the old days too, but I miss my youth... my hairline, LOL! I started as a 21 yr. old college kid in the '70s. It was all new and all illicit, secretive and seductive. Dr. Pleasure when you started in the '90s some sensuality returned to the scene versus what I experienced in the mid '80s when I came back for a few years and the '70s were wide open, as I mentioned in a previous post.

From the '90s on I didn't experiment much and stayed with Mistresses I knew, such as the UTR Mistress I've known off and on since the late '90s and has been my only Mistress the past several years. Having that long term relationship between a sub and a Domina, that trust, provides a lot of freedom and willingness to experiment for both people.

I have experimented with female bodybuilders who are Dominas (or Dominas who are bodybuilders) via sessions featuring role play in hotels and even sometimes in public spaces, since the mid-2000s. The sessions were as unique as the ladies. As as a group the bodybuilders are more sensual since they love to show lowly subs their superior muscles and strength, and enjoy muscle worship, scissoring, (one-sided) wrestling. Thank God I'm a big guy, still a bit athletic, so I survived some of encounters with them! That reminds me a little bit of my youth in the 1970s, when everything was new, illicit and dangerous....

I guess I'm stuck in the good old days, because this sounds pretty normal to Me, lol.

Mistress, I just checked your site and a bit of your Twitter feed. Oh, you are “stuck in the good old days” in a very delightful way. LOL!

Enjoying all the replies very much.

To echo what some have said, NY seemed like a magical place to me in terms from BDSM from the mid/late 90s to the early 2000s (or am I just viewing these times with rose tinted spectacles?). It seems lazy and convenient to say the wild crazy times ended around 9/11 but of course that was also coming to the end of the Rudy era, when the city was transforming into a safer but more sterile and corporate place. The money moved in and the dungeons/dive bars/artists started to be forced out of Manhattan.

I have amazing memories of Mistress Nadine and her dungeon called Abasement in Soho. Truly a one of a kind place. Being underground gave it a certain extra visceral atmosphere when it came to torture sessions. M.Nadine was heavily into bondage and had her furniture custom made by her brother. Awesome one of a kind stuff, functional and stylish. I hope all the gear found a good home. M.Nadine was a dream mix of a highly skilled bondage top, creative sadist and an all around cool person. She could really take you to the edge and back. Multiple times in fact. Mentally and physically.

I got to session once with Diana Balance at Elizabeths. For a boot fetishist like myself if was such a privilege to meet a legendary lady, just before she stopped seeing new clients.

The parties could be wild. I am trying to remember a few of the names of them. SMack on the Lower East Side was a fun one. A mix of lifestyle people and pros 'off the clock' plus some kick ass stage performances. Hellfire and Vault were a couple of others. Anybody go to any of those parties back then?

Nice that you got to go to Avalon, I went there a good old while back. Their space is spectacular and yes those German Dominas really know how to dress don't they? I had a few years in Europe, but my German is not so hot.

Had a few sessions in Germany in the 2000s where the lady didn't speak much English, but we managed to communicate very well indeed nevertheless! Every city in Germany back then (15 years ago) had one or two big studios with multiple ladies working there.

I don't know how I ended up in Florida the first time. But after I sessioned with Goddess Poison, I simply had to go back again even though I hate that state

Goddess Poison was a raven haired Domme with piercing brown eyes. She was an incredible smoker. Her action in smoking, the way she inhaled and exhaled, the use of the smoke, the heat from the lit cigarette. She must be in the smoking hall of fame for sure. Stunning.

Which is why I have been your admirer since I first joined MaxFisch in 1999. The next moment I find myself in Atlanta, I hope to meet you.

Just hearing someone else mention Mistress Helena put a smile on my face. I only saw her twice and both times were memorable. After the second session she told me to use the words "wolf howl merciless caning" when I booked my next session. The "wolf howl" was a reference to the way I screamed which she said she loved and the rest was to communicate that this next caning would be CNC. Sadly I did not follow though before she retired.

We went out and had a bite to eat after both sessions (they were both late night). I have a clear memory of sitting in Veselka with her at 2 am. She told me she was going to retire soon and insisted that I email her so that we could stay in touch. Very, very stupidly, I didn't.

I just looked at your website. I wish I had a reason to come too Atlanta. If you ever come to LA I will be rushing to place myself before your feet.

I just responded to your other thread, having not seen this reply first. It's cool that you had those after-scene meals with her. I was pretty compartmentalized back then, but I remember her once saying to me after a session, "You only get in touch when you want to session," which I took as an invitation for something social. But I never followed up (and also didn't have her contact).