Misogyny in a FemDom forum

This belief is a function of misogyny. It should not be tolerated on a FemDom board. It's as ridiculous as having a board for people of color and then allowing members to make racist comments.

If you believe that women are in any way inferior or defective or should subjugate themselves to men, why are you here, exactly? You do realize that FemDom is about the opposite of that, right?

Reel it in or go somewhere else.

RudolfWhitmer is a troll who has been making many posts here for a while.

I've sent several notifications about him.

One of the moderators responded to me over PM to let me know that I wasn't being ignored.

That moderator explained to me that since traffic on this site was low and that RudolfWhitmer was sometimes funny he would be tolerated for the time being as it might generate more posts.

I disagree with this approach.

When good people see troll posts tolerated they leave.

That is one of the big ways MF died ( that and the misogyny ).

Despite having modern software and actual moderators we are right back where we started from with MF.

A defacto absence of moderation

Tissa, you seem like a really cool lady. I'd love to meet you some time, be it for filming or just to hang out. I hope you are not offended by this but I have to disagree that the post was misogamist. Maybe it was and could be taken either way but I just don't think it is a big deal. Talking on line doesn't compare to talking in person. It can be too easy for someone to come across the wrong way.

I think RudolfWhitmer's statement that men married to women who would not change their last name should not be trusted, can be viewed as not misogynistic for solid reasons. I also think it can be viewed as misogynistic for solid reasons.

Regardless, if you look at post and many,many of RudolfWhitmer's other posts it is clear he is here to try to illicit negative reactions from people with his writing. That is the definition of trolling.

It is past time to remove RudolfWhitmer and his posts.

As long as he doesn't get out of hand with the volume of his posts, I don't have a problem with him. He isn't being disruptive on threads, launching personal attacks, ect. I asked him to keep the volume down and he has. I do think he is funny. His actually brings up a fun conversation on the thread in question. Irene Boss and I were close friends for years. Her husband is one of the coolest people I've ever met. In the scene world, he took the last name of Boss. I so loved that. When a lifestyle couple get married does the husband take the lady's last time? It has my wheels turning for a subbyhubby script.

Look at the volume of threads he started in the Off Topic section, most with no response.



Have a look at the link in Mistress Tissa's post. It points to such disruption.

Look at the the titles of his MANY threads. If I wanted to write to get a negative reaction out of people I would have chosen similar titles and content.

I'm not suggesting he isn't trolling. He clearly is. But he isn't being hostile or making personal attacks. If it was up to me, I'd just tell him to calm down a little. But, I will support whatever the admin here does. To bring levity to this, riddle me this. If you married a dominant woman, would you take her last name?

Then he should be removed from the site. That is the reason for having moderation and having more moderators than just DominaAdmin to carry the whole moderation load.

I think Rudolph is trying to make a point and get a rise out of people but he is funny and entitled to his opinion . As long as he puts his coronavirus/ lockdown/ conspiracy threads in Off Topic or Political forum I am fine with it even if I’m not always in agreement. He’s not making personal attacks or being nasty to people.

That is literally trolling



My opinion is that trolling is being nasty to people.



I'm against the site potentially spreading dangerous misinformation.

Yes, most people here are too smart for that, but I believe his motivation for those posts are trolling.

Everyone has their own opinion. Mine is this is a forum and it shouldn’t be over policed. I don’t think he’s crossed the line to be banned. You do and that’s fine. Everyone has their own opinion of what that line is.

Rudolph is contributing bdsm related stuff in Reviews and the Lobby. Off Topic and Political are where his other stuff belongs as well as other posters non bdsm postings. This is just my opinion and that’s my point. Everyone has their own.

+1 and I say this respect for Soapy. We don't agree on it but he is a good guy.

Soapy, you rarely talk to me because you don't agree with how I vote, which makes me sad but I really like you and think you are a good person. You have come to my defense over personal attacks, putting politics aside. I've always respected you but that really impressed me. Whatever the subject, my feeling is that we cannot suppress people's opinion or avenue to exchange thoughts and free thinking. Is he spreading dangerous information? I don't think so. You do. Should we shut people down who do not feel the same way that we do? If anyone is basing life decisions on what they read on a discussion forum of this nature then....well...they ought to reevaluate their decision making process.

I have been ill, just now getting back to the board.
I will deal with the problem shortly.

DominaAdmin

Defending the right that someone who trolls as a hobby to express their misogynistic "opinion" on a FemDom forum. Cool. Glad everyone has their priorities in order.

Go ahead and keep your shitposters but expect to lose quality contributors.

+1

I largely agree even though I am definitely not a fan of Mad Rudolf though I do derive some schadenfreude for the frustration he obviously feels that most posters are ignoring him. "I don't wear a mask! Look at me! I don't wear a mask!" Well isn't that special.

OK having some activity on the much neglected Reviews forum is appreciated a bit.

I am in favor of moderation but opposed to OVERmoderation which is definitely a problem on some other Bulletin Boards. There are multiple problems with that. One is Mods with a very exaggerated sense of self importance. Then there ware what I call the "self appoint hall monitor" types who take offense at the drop of a hat and whine to the moderators left and right. Creeping political censorship is sometimes a problem as well.

"I am in favor of moderation but opposed to OVERmoderation which is definitely a problem on some other Bulletin Boards. There are multiple problems with that. One is Mods with a very exaggerated sense of self importance. Then there ware what I call the "self appoint hall monitor" types who take offense at the drop of a hat and whine to the moderators left and right. Creeping political censorship is sometimes a problem as well."

Yes! The narcisissism of these types is annoying to say the least.

It doesn't have to be lax to the point of no moderation versus ove-rmoderation.

If someone is posting potentially harmful information they or their posts can be removed without turning into web board nazi.

+1

I believe Rudolf is actually turdburgler with a new acct.

Thanks for the kind words, Cheyenne. Yes, I still would like to meet and shoot with you.

Here's why is it misogynist:

Saying that you cannot trust a man whose wife does not take his last name is because the assumption is that that man can't keep his wife under his thumb. The whole tradition of a woman changing her name is a form of symbolic assimilation, ownership. It is fundamentally about turning her into a possession, which is dehumanizing and that is all part of the misogynistic mindset.

Now, we may argue this is one little comment. And perhaps turdbur-I mean Donal--I mean Rudolf should be given a cursory warning, but if we want to keep this a FemDom board, we cannot allow the women to be insulted -- whether directly or indirectly -- by the men who choose to participate.

I love having conversations about kink with my community -- especially ones with depth -- and so I very much appreciate boards like this. But I have far too much self respect to hang out in a place which tolerates blatant hateful opinions of women. I would hope any FemDom would agree with me.

Hateful attitudes are not mere "opinion". Saying you prefer to be spanked on a lap versus a bench is opinion.

Hateful attitudes toward women -- in a forum driven by the presence and practice of women -- makes zero sense.

I have to disagree. There is a difference between being the class clown and someone who truly harasses people. Censorship should be used sparingly. I asked him to reign in the volume of threads he was posting and he did. The death of a discussion forum is over censorship.

My wanting to not be subjected to shitty comments directed toward women isn't a matter of "self-importance" or "over-moderation". How revealing of you to see it that way.

Asking men to refrain from being sexist is apparently beyond the ability of some. And instead of asking these people to play nice or go elsewhere, the argument is to tolerate and enable them, FemDoms be damned.

You think this guy is just a "class clown"? Oh boy.

This guy, who I feel pretty confident is the same person who has had other shitpost accounts, is getting off at this. He's not here to make us laugh, he's here to make himself laugh - and at the expense of others. See: troll.

Changing your name is a hassle and some women choose not to do it and it has nothing to do with being able to trust either one of them.

I was just talking to a friend of mine last week who I had not spoke to recently. Her and her husband have been married for 10 years and she's like mid 50s. She's a registered professional, so changing her last name would involve the regular channels as well as the professional boards that she's registered under. She is also known professionally by her maiden name.

I don't know if they are kinky or not but it would be ridiculous and insulting for me to start asking her why she did not take her husband's name. Her and her husband are really top notch people and it would be poorly viewed to start asking them those types of questions.

People should have a right to do what makes them happy.

+1

That’s true too. My sister changed her name when she first got married. After they divorced she changed it back to her maiden name even after she married again to a different guy.

+1

+1

I just spent far more time reading Rudolph's posts than they deserve. I don't normally venture into off topic or politics on this board, but I wanted to see what has everyone up in arms.

My opinion is that he is a bit of a troll (I've seen much worse on MF) and he probably is turdburglar. If so, he has toned it down a bit here. Moderation is a good thing, and yes, we don't want this board to become like MF but it would be sad to see this board ban people due a differing opinion or for simply having bad manners.

How about we give Rudolph a chance to clean up his act?
1. Keep political opinions off the Lobby
2. Keep mysogany off the board. I did see one post that was clearly disrespectful to women in off topic and I would suggest that be deleted.

Any other suggestions?

My guess is he probably won't be able to adhere to the rules and will probably eventually get banned but I would suggest this route to prevent being too heavily handed with moderation.

Opinions?

My opinion is that he has already had that ample chance.

I can't see anyone wanting to use the Off Topic section with his copious postings there. Most people would take a look at the list of titles and decide there are better places on the web. If people think modding Off Topic is too much work I will volunteer to do it.

Tolerating trolls is what drove Dominatrixes and other people making high quality posts away from MF.

I think it is possible to be quick to deal with trolls and not over-moderate a board.

We mostly agree. He is pretty much harmless. There is a difference between being the class clown and being insulting or disruptive. Too much is being made of it, in my opinion . I hope he isn’t banned.

I have deleted several Posts/Topics and issued a "Warning Potential Troll!" to those accounts in question.

I can assure all Buzzers that Domina.ms The Buzz, is not Maxfisch Part II! Dommes reputations are not constantly being maligned by legions of Trolls and Sock puppet accounts.

Enjoy the censorship. I'm deleting all my reviews. F this board.

Max will be happy to see you back.

Our latest Troll has been banished. He is now threatening us with hate posts and repeated trolling attacks. Gee, what a nice guy.

Thank you for maintaining such as awesome forum.

+1

Thank you for stepping in!

I always thought that someone who would troll a board centering on Dominas was never a sub. More of a passive/aggressive type. Thanks for banishing the troll.

I find it very interesting that some people are having a kind of panic moment and going full on black-and-white thinking where we either allow trolls to exist and thrive here or we're "over-moderating!" ... simply because I requested that we don't allow *misogyny* here. I think that shows how socially acceptable it is and how desensitized we are to misogyny.

Not wanting to read insulting comments about women is not just a matter of "differing opinion" or "bad manners". It's a very serious thing that has had devastating effects on both women AND men. Forgive me for not wanting to be subjected to it on a FemDom board.

As far as the more harmless differing opinions and bad manners? I react appropriately because I'm intelligent enough to know the difference between reasonable disagreements and the reasonable emotions that go with them and being a "Nazi" as I believe a couple people have insinuated.

I'm sure people think I just want to censor people. On the contrary, I'm all about freedom of speech. I'm also about people's understanding that some types of speech aren't acceptable in certain spaces, nor should people expect them to be without repercussions.



I think it's simple: Let's act like adults. Disagreements will happen. Emotions will happen. When it crosses the line into name-calling, slander, harassment, threats, targeted hate we give a warning, maybe two, depending on the type of offense. If the person continues, they're removed. I would suggest a time-out but this software doesn't have that capability.

The people who have a serious problem with this are likely those who are don't trust that they will be able to control themselves. Instead of blaming others and crying "over-moderation", try practicing responsible behavior.

No one here is interested in censoring your speech...unless you're creating a hostile and unwelcoming environment for other members.

+1 on that.

I've asked that question up and down on MF since 2007, and there are inevitably two answers: 1) I'm not sexist, how dare you insinuate that! 2) Female domination has nothing to do with feminism.

Both pretty demoralizing responses. I've learned to stop asking it and accept that the cis hetero men who are interested in us either don't want to understand or don't care. It is puzzling. I think that many men have been raised to equate feminism with stereotypical man-hating lesbians (this is not true and an extremely antiquated view).

So yeah, why aren't more submissive men interested in feminism? Why isn't that the driving force behind their servitude? I've asked it over and over. It comes down to the fact that they worship power and beauty and do not associate that with equanimity, rights, or overcoming a history marginalization.


V

I think you are right.

From the little biopic accounts I've read over the years the clients and professionals come to the space from different directions.

The subs stumbled across a kink button that is extremely stimulating. The professionals got introduced to the kink, found it fitting well with a new narrative that works for them.

I don't think it is all gloom. You can always find an open minded person occasionally who is interested to hear about something outside of their world.

I do have some clients who consider themselves feminists. They are more in tune with the complexity of their proclivities.

I agree with what you're saying, but I personally don't think one has to identify as a feminist to be a FemDom or to support women as equal. I have an unfinished essay about my take on issues that exist with feminism. None of which have anything to do with women being equal. I mean, that's axiomatic.

I think when men don't understand how sociopolitical issues relate to FemDom (e.g. bodily autonomy, Me Too, etc) it can sometimes indicate that he is really fetishizing female Dominants and how we may serve his sexual needs than "this is a human being who I respect and whose welfare concerns me", which is more indicative of an actual submissive or slave.