Guys backing out of judicial or severe pain

There us a thread that was recently started at the other similar forum. One guy says he has been looking for a domme who would give him pain, and the pain might become like torture or unbearable or very bad. He says he might ask or beg or plead with her to stop and he is hoping she would continue, but he says, most dommes he has seen do in fact stop or lighten up or quit.

A number of yhe dommes who post in that other forum also say that a few times a year or more, they see a guy who claims he wants or can take a lot of lakn, and that most of th these guys wimp out in a short time and beg or request the pain or punishment to stop. Some of them worry about traumatizing the guy, they say!


Anyway, if you are a domme, and there is that 1 in 10 guy or 1 in 20 guys who thought he should take a lot pain, and now he us begging you to stop or quit ir lighten up, etc, how do you handle the guy? Quit the punishment, or send him home, or move to a diff kind of punishment or continue? Just be happy he has already paid and is a dumb dumb? Gag him? Laugh? Supposedly some dommes see this behavior a few times a year. Maybe it is more often!

Usually this only happens with newbies that have watched films and think they can take more than they can. Aficionados usually do a good job of explaining limits and tolerances. Beyond that it's just a matter of being able to read your bottom. Needlessly giving them more than they can take doesn't do anyone any good.

Agree entirely. An intuitive Domme is a wonderful thing. It is a combination of a slave's signalling their limits and a Domme's sensing where that is in reality and not going beyond that. A ying and yang.....no one is satisfied by too much restraint or too much excess!

Lol. That was me. I just signed up for this forum and I could not resist replying. I'm still looking by the way.

I did have a couple experiences that got me closer with a lifestyle domme. The only problem was the neighbors possibly hearing. Apparently beating someone harder when they beg for mercy will only go so far. It reaches a point where they will beg loudly no matter how hard you beat them to keep quiet.

Agree, but it is most likely to happen when a newbie client meets a newbie domme. I was once in this situation and it did not end well.

When you meet accomplished mistresses you can be confident for your safety. You can be always happy either that the session was really intense or that you met somebody who cares. Unless you are a glass half empty kind of guy.

I am always concerned about the safety, and well being of my clients. I believe in honest negotiation, without it no session is going to workout well. I will lead a sub down the path of serious torture and pain without stopping. No matter how much they beg, if it is negotiated.

Throughout my bdsm career i have after for severe pain a fair amount. But i have always set the expectation that i may not be able to handle it. In all but one session the Mistress was incredibly intuitive and no when to back off even if we didnt reach the level of pain i was expecting. The one time it went to far was about 4 years ago and almost ended my bdsm career. Im now incredibly more careful about who i play with.

Im now in a part lifestyle part pro relationship. Where i typically spend 4 or 5 days with my Domme at a time. I will say that i have been able to reach levels of pain i didn't think were possible with this arrangement. I have given consent to push past pleas and begging and it does reach the point where i would do anything to make it stop. I believe a large part of that is i know i have days of aftercare and that aftercare involves humor, emotional support, medicinal support, massages, cuddling, etc. All things that would be tough to replicate in a few hour session. Without that aftercare i think it could be emotionally scarring for me. With the aftercare it allows me to form a deep connection and fulfill an incredible fantasy. The feeling of pain that lasts for days after a session is a beautiful thing if i have someone there to support me through that pain.

Taking a sub well out of his comfort zone is difficult in a Pro setting unless the Domme and the sub have an established relationship and have done careful negotiation. CNC play is fraught with pitfalls and needs to be approached with care. This holds true whether talking about severe pain or other forms of edgy domination.

I have played that way a few times but always with A. someone I know and trust (and who trusts me) and B. with both having a clearly defined understanding of the scope of the session before beginning. The Domme plays an important role here in controlling the sub so he doesn't go too over the top in his requests. It's easy for some subs to get carried away before a session and ask for more and more. It's not always pretty when fantasy and reality collide.

I have always equated CNC play with sky diving. You do everything possible to minimize the risks and maximize success but once you step out of the plane you are committed! It can be an incredible experience but also has the potential for disaster.

So far I have been lucky and while parts of those sessions were very challenging I have nothing but good memories.

I might have to plan a winter vacation to Florida Mistress. What a drag warm weather will be when it is cold up north.

Mmmm... i would love to read Your bottom Mistress Ayn

(Speaking of saying stuff to a Mistress that will get you more severe pain than you can actually endure)

Love... Love... Love every bit of how you go about satisfying your needs with someone who obviously is more than just a mean girl who hits you with stuff.

+1

(Only replying to this part of the OP rather than the CNC stuff)

I made this mistake once very early in my "career". Saw a few Dommes who really knew what they were doing with pain and could read my body's reactions... totally loved it (still do). Because they could do that, they really hit the edge of what I could take and even pressed me past that by asking me to "take a little more for Me, Asp" (to be clear, I never begged them to stop or said "Red" but at times did call "Yellow").

This led me to the completely false conclusion that I was a maso who loved & could take pain rather than the fact that I am a wimp (compared to real pain sluts). So, I booked a session with an amazing Domme who was a true sadist while stating all those stupid/ignorant things quoted above.

Let's just say I was quickly, forcefully and extremely professionally disabused of that notion by that wonderful Lady in the hour I visited with Her. Luckily for me, She had a lot of experience with dumbasses like myself & was willing to indulge my ridiculousness to the point of finding out if it was actually true or not... All while not going too far. She absolutely "taught me a lesson" in a way that I, and everyone I am fortunate enough to serve, will forever be grateful for.

Asp

I'd love to see you in my Dungeon this winter.

I should of posted this update months ago. I found a Domme within a reasonable drive from me that was willing to engage in no safe word play and my experience was absolutely wonderful. I booked a 2 hour session after we spent quite awhile discussing interests, limits, expectations and things like that.

She brought another person for her safety and to assist with dominating me. It started off with me being restrained and blindfolded, then a warm up for 10 or 15 minutes. After that things started to get a bit harsher and continued to intensify.

I'm not quite sure when but, maybe an hour in things started to get hard for me. I was really moving around and doing my best to avoid the blows. They started holding me down and
they increased the intensity of the beating while I sterted begging for mercy.

She started repeating my pleas for mercy in a mocking way. I could tell she was really enjoying me begging her to stop. I was reminded that I asked for it and that she had to continue so that I wouldn't be disappointed. She also asked me if I really thought pathetically begging would work.

While the pain wasn't enjoyable at the moment, I felt a sense of relief when it ended. I felt exhausted, calm, relaxed and glad it was over. I also had a sense of achievement. She never made me feel like I was in serious danger or that I would be permanently harmed.

While not booked, I have another session planned for the future. Next time there will be no warm up and I will be suspended in extremely tight bandage so she can have full access to my body. It will end up being a miserable time for me.