Chastity - Love, Hate or Indifferent?

What has your experience with chastity been like? It was something I didn't see the appeal with for the longest time. Then I started working with Mistress Brianna of DC and the light bulb came on. She had a slave that she would keep in chastity for months. Periodically she would session with him and stimulate anally so that his body would have a release but his mind wouldn't. She did this in conjunction with this wife. It was so wicked and so sexy that it opened my mind to how much fun chastity play can be.

Your feelings?

Hello Cheyenne. Actually chastity was my first introduction to FemDom. My significant other was secretly into it and finally admitted it to me. We played chastity games off and on for years. Eventually my interests became more diversified which led me to becoming a pro. In recent years I have become more interested in it again am always looking for inventive ways to utilize new technology to make long distance chastity more practical.

I currently have four boys under lock and key and a few more that can be directed in at any time.

Wow. That is interesting. How do you play long distance? Is keeping those chastity guys honest get challenging?

I love the concept of it. Being made to be locked up for days, weeks, or months without orgasm sounds amazing torture! Also a great way for a domme to have control over you in between sessions.

But in practice I can't go for more than a day without losing sleep due to nocturnal erections, my cock slipping out the cage, the base ring causing discomfort at best and at worst bruising on the scrotum, same thing with the cage itself.

I've learned that guys that want to be in chastity and serve that way can be trusted not to do anything unauthorised and that is really the only kind of sub I am interested in doing keyholding with. However, I think it is psychologically powerful to have them not in control of the key. For the last few years I have been using the clear electric kitchen safes. They have to put the keys in and set the timer to what I say. In an absolute emergency they could smash the box if necessary, but in the meantime the keys are safely locked away.

There are some new devices that have come on the market within the last year that hold the keys and can be locked/unlocked with an app. I haven't found one that is affordable and fits all my needs yet but I think it's coming eventually.

Hello asssniffer. Occasionally I find guys that no device will fit. Usually that has to do with "turtling". My guess is that you just haven't found the right device. The ones with oval rings and a cage that slides under the ring tend to eliminate slipping out when flacid. If someone is only going to wear a device for a few days before a session, comfort isn't all that important but if you are going to wear it long term, a better fitting device is a must. The Holy Trainer has worked well for many people but the custom made steel ones are My favorite.

Thank you for the info, I didn't know that oval rings tend to eliminate slipping out.
I was actually thinking of giving chastity another go with a custom metal cage, and knowing this definitely pushes me further in that direction.

Metal is definitely the way to go. 1, smooth, no pinches. 2, it's very real.

Might want to try reaching out to the folks at Mature Metal. They're also on fetlife and very approachable if you want to ask some questions. They will help you with finding the right size and length. Counter-intuitively, smaller is better. Good luck.

Love it and hate it. I've done a lot of chastity. 1 week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks and a full Locktober. Quite often without a key. I don't session without at least 4 days to a week in real (keyless) or honor system chastity. Usually it's built into whatever roleplay is being used. That's more a question of arriving at a really good restaurant without snacking. A full appetite so to speak.

I love the idea of chastity. That intimate secret between 2 people. The mindfuck of it, the 24/7 enforcement of the hierarchy that she and I both know I need. Lots and lots to commend it.

I recommend every sub do it at least once. Keyless if possible. There are ways to get there if one is really interested. Ideally, shave for it. Give that part of yourself away for a while. That is just the sexiest feeling.... And also entirely submissive.

Post-session chastity is something I've added lately. Most recently the Mistress had me bring a lockbox. The kind realtors use to show apartments in the city. She put the key in there when it was over and gave it back. But with a combination set by her. She wouldn't tell it to me until I had completed certain assignments. Oh, there's a lot a devious mind can come up with for post-session tasks....

One thing though. After a longer lock-up, that long awaited release gets to feel a bit strange. For about a week, normal intensity builds. But if I'm locked much longer, while not the same as the proverbial "ruined orgasm," it's not quite the same as a normal denial either. It's a weird, buzzy, not 100% pleasurable sensation.

And then there's the question of what to do with all that protein. Depends on what the Domme wants me to learn from this experience....

I absolutely love chastity. I feel it brings a sub into a much deeper state of devotion and desperation. Not to mention the power of wearing a key is just insanely hot.

Years ago there was a man who custom made steel chastity devices. To get one, the man had to go to Long Island to be fitted. They very unique in the way that they were not uncomfortable and impossible to get out of. Sadly, he passed away. His family tried to keep the business going but, it wasn't the same without him. I wonder what the best chastity devices out there are these days. For extreme chastity play, I've heard that a double piercing and locking the cock down is fool proof. Once the person is past the healing of the piercings, it is painless and much less distracting then wearing a device. But, I've only heard discussion of this. I haven't known anyone first hand who has done it.

Thanks for sharing this. Your play time sounds hot. Have you ever mixed tease and denial in with extended chastity times?

I agree completely. For years I had a personal slave that had a huge foot fetish. I would wear his chastity key on my ankle bracelet. It drove him nuts.

Yes, insanely hot. Someone was talking about fetishwear in public. Nothing trumps the sight of a little key on a necklace or ankle bracelet. It has a totemic power that exceeds a pair of 8" heels. It says "Right now, I entirely own this person's sex and sexuality. So much so that I am wearing it as a little ornament. Maybe I'll give t back one day. Maybe not..."

Yes. Chastity is never an end in itself. It's the prelude or precondition to whatever mindfuck(s) are intended. Works hand in glove with feminization too. And the tease and denial does not necessarily end with a session. That may only be a period of temporary lock removal. Depends what she thinks you need. Then you go home with those very fresh memories of your Goddess. Her voice, her body, her scent. And absolutely no way of getting relief. You think you were going crazy before...?

Ha! Interesting. I like that description future pet. That paints a vivid picture of how powerful it must feel on the one side and how frustrating and owned it feels on the other end.

That is sooo hot.

Goals:

To me it’s a love hate thing. I love the idea of being in a chastity device. I tried it with my lifestyle Domme back in 2000. It was awful painful at night and wasn’t very comfortable when going to the gym. Although back in 2000 there weren’t as many choices of devices back then like now.

Although I did see a pro Domme who made me wear it from the start of a session to the end. The only time it came off in the session was for CBT play. To make it even worst it was pink. I was like “I don’t mind wearing it but pink”? She was like “that’s the only color I have and it looks good on you”. I didn’t complain again after that.

Not really interested in chastity play, but love orgasm control, and I think there's some overlap in the effects. With orgasm control, mistress does tend to allow me to cum less often than I would under my own recognizance, so there's a bit of the "he's more submissive when he doesn't cum" impact, although I only go 7-10 days versus what most chastity players do. I also know I only cum with her permission and whims, so I find myself VERY highly motivated to please her all the time. And lastly, when she does let me cum, I find myself incredibly grateful to her, I mean overwhelmingly grateful, which is like another motivator for appreciation and obedience

I have a boy with a pink device, pink nipple piercings and a pink collar. He is not a sissy. I just use the color to emasculate him. You boys and your aversion to pink.

I've never been into sissification. But I have been into forced femme for the last few years. I've got lots of pink stuff. But my device is metal. I just like the finality of metal. And you can run in it. Plastics and resins - which can be pigmented - are more prone to pinching and grabbing.

Well I just figured if I’m going to be locked up may as well be a cool color clear, black or metal like. Then I’m thinking it’s probably more embarrassing to have my cock locked up regardless the color in the first place.

Chastity is a complex topic. If you plan to go into chastity I recommend a custom fitted metal device. Be patient as it may take a few adjustments -- I also recommend an oval base ring.

I've been in and out of long-term chastity for over 6 years. Once you have a properly fitted cage, I recommend getting a key holder. There are key holder programs like Chastikey if you don't know anyone to hold your key. I recommend having a pro Dom like Mistress Ayn holding your key. If you're going to play with Chastity for a few days it can be a game -- if you're serious then get a Key Holder if you can. It's always good to set parameters with someone you trust.

Very good point. I think some guys go into chastity and confuse long term chastity with a game. Long term chastity is not a game. It is something you settle into. It's a lifestyle - putting your orgasms and between the legs pleasure completely in the control of another.

And yes, the reasoning and motivations for making that decision are complex.

For me, Chastity isn't a game. I've committed to be in Chastity until I have chance to visit with a special friend which has been delayed by the pandemic -- however long it takes.

I look forward the each day of being locked and enjoy the painful nocturnal erections. Having a key holder is controlling my keys is perfect for me.

Since about 6 month, i am in a kind of chastity - but without any device applied. It is by free will only; i have to ask my mistress (by message) to be allowed to give me a relief. She trusts me to follow her orders and i am happy to keep a little in touch with her during this awful time.

Hello slv4u. That is referred to as virtual chastity, which some subs and Mistresses actually find more satisfying. And that is real chastity, in my opinion, because it is based on the honor system, which means you really are doing it to comply with her wishes.

Many find it comforting to have this "link" or connection with someone. It helps them feel a part of something secret and that little bit of contact, especially during stressful times, can be a great solace.

Yep, that definitely counts as chastity. In my "orgasm control" scenario, she had decision power over when/if/how I orgasmed, but we never used any kind of chastity device, she just knew I'd obey

Thank You very much for Your kind words!

This sums it up perfectly; it's a special bond to my owner, and i really feel lucky to be under such control by my mistress.

Yes! Trust is for me the most important point in an ongoing 'relation' between a top and a sub. i trust her and her skills during a session - and she knows i never would disobey her will. This makes it special.

Chastity is now a life-style choice for me, with Mistress Ayn as my Keyholder. It started out as a fantasy - a 2-week trial - and just evolved. During a rare necessity for me to be out of my cage for two days, i felt odd and uncomfortable. The cage is a part of me. Even though my Keyholder exerts Her control long distance and i have a key for maintenance and emergencies, there is no interest in letting myself out of chastity and disobeying my Keyholder. It is a wonderful reminder throughout the day when i feel the cage and i smile, knowing that this is now my life and it is special. Thamnk You, Mistress Ayn, for this "indefinite chastity" experience.

Your directness is so overpowering. Would you allow me to pledge my long-term chastity to you? I have been seeking a mistress who would demand chastity. You can check my compliance every day. Devotion is my middle name. Let me know how I can inform you I been obedient!

I just experienced chastity, I guess technically for the second time. Albeit on a very short term basis. As opposed to the first time, this time it was required I tease myself and I have come to the same conclusion - love it and hate it.




It does seem to be a mindfuck and I love the mental just as much as the physical. It also really enforces that feeling of submission. Your pleasure is owned/controlled by someone else, and you're completely at their mercy.

In theory, I like it. In practice, I find that men usually aren't very fun to play with. Most are looking for tops, not Dommes. I'm not a chastity top.

Whats the difference between a top and a domme?

Simple answer: Dominance is about control and topping is about providing sensation. They often go together but are not mutually inclusive.

Detailed answer: https://bdsmlog.mistresstissa.com/position-role-and-fetishism/

Trying to identify NEW next steps for long-term chastity.

i have been in chastity for so long that i no longer count the days, months or ... to celebrate this feat. Rather, i am in "indefinite chastity," a term my Keyholder - Mistress Ayn - prefers.

Every day i am in chastity, it is - as i mentioned earlier in this thread - simply a part of me, my life. i never ask permission to take the cage off unless extreme circumstances require it. i visit my physician, work, play, exercise, relax, everything while in chastity.

So, how to make it more exciting and not routine? Well, the cage broke so i was without a chastity cage until a new one could be ordered. That truly felt weird. Mistress Ayn ordered me to purchase a pink cage - of course - but with sparkles. It is truly humiliating. As an aside, Holy Trainer's new version 4 chastity cage is excellent. New, stronger design, more comfortable, good for long-term wear!

Finally, i asked Mistress Ayn is i could purchase a new chastity cage - a smaller size. i am wearing it this weekend - July 4th to celebrate my non-independence (Mistress Ayn's idea of course). It is even more restrictive, making any erection nearly impossible.

Even after a long time in chastity, there can be a new way for my Mistress to exert Her control over me as my Keyholder.

It is wonderful to be kept chaste to a Mistress. For me sometimes it is locked and the rest of the time, for the last 18 months, I am 24 X 7 in "Mental Chastity" to my Mistress. She permanently owns me, has carved Her mark into my leg with a scalpel and refreshed it many times, and has taken permanent possession of that part of me. It is now Hers. I am NEVER allowed to bring pleasure to myself except through ordered tease and denial. Honestly, I would not want it any other way. I am Her slave and She is my Goddess.