How often do you kink?

When this question started to tumble around in My mind I was thinking about the subs that only session once or twice a year. Their need for kink (D/s, BDSM, FemDom or whatever label you want to put on it) builds like an itch, they scratch it and they are good until it builds up again. Then there are the clients who's itch never goes completely away.

The more I thought about this the more I wondered about sub's kink requirements in general. Not only how often they do live sessions, but how often they do phone sessions, watch FemDom porn, etc. I would imagine that the results from asking this question on this forum will be skewed toward the more frequent indulger, but I still would like to hear all of your thoughts and input. Appease My curiosity a little . . .

Mistress Ayn,

I usually only get to session once or twice a year. That's because I'm married and don't get the chance to get away more often than that. I have the itch most of the time and as my time for a session draws closer it becomes almost unbearable- ah, what torment.

I do check in here, at Max and fetlife regularly to keep up on things.

I wish I could session more often but wouldn't trade my current life for anything. Still hoping a group of Mistresses set up a nursing home for us when the decide to "retire" from active sessioning. Would love to join a group of old farts living our final years being dominated and treated in such a place!

I'm in the few times a year category. It's not that I don't think about it more often than that, nor is it that I have to sneak away, it's a matter of practicality. There's really only one kinky thing that turns me on, and that's traditional OTK spanking. But I'm fussy about it in a few ways, and I have found better opportunities out of town than at home.

If I find the right mistress (and I'm pretty good at ruling out ones that aren't going to work for me) I can leave smiling after a half hour over her knee. Most independent professinal disciplinarians don't want to do half-hour sessions (or will stop any time but don't want to take sessions for less than their full-hour rate), but most houses have a fair half-hour rate, so that's where I do most of my sessions. There are no such places where I live, so mostly I get my itch scratched when I go to Los Angeles where I have a few reliable favorites.

I don't want to fiind out what I'd turn into if there was someone here in town who would give me a $100 spanking whenever I needed one.

you would probably have a perpetually red ass ;-)

marstoy, I assumed you would be in the "want it all the time" crowd. Anyone that dreams of spending their final days under a Domme's boot would be . . . Of course, I love that.

I think even sessioning once or twice a year is a big step -- I imagine the % of guys who go to a professional dominatrix in their entire lives is pretty tiny. Which leads me to believe that even if they only manage to session once or twice a year, most are at least watching bdsm porn and having bdsm fantasies year-round -- they had to have pretty strong impulses and fantasies just to break through their inhibitions to session even once. I certainly did, back when I was only seeing a dominatrix once a year.

These days, I kink pretty often. My mistress controls everything from when and how I masturbate, to how often I can go out drinking with buddies, and even our casual almost-daily text or phone conversations often turn at some point to some new toy or activity, even if for just a few seconds.

I don't make a lot of money . . . kink with a domme is a semi-luxury. I do it for spiritual reasons and for fun, though when I began it was just for spiritual reasons.

I also walk at a park in the summer in so little my butt is pretty exposed . . . No need now to have moms being asked by their kids why my butt is so marked up . . .

so, for me, once a year is a minimum and 3 or 4 times is high . . . I am trying to make more money!

Mistress Ayn,
While i think about kink all the time, it's been years since a real time. i did participate in on-line Domination a couple years ago and continue to be in touch with that Mistress, who has retired.
Health issues keep me from participating RT.
Before the health issues, finances were a limitation. And sometimes demands on my time. my first session was in the late 1970s and i have had more than a dozen at least. However, they were often spaced apart in time.
Another limiting factor, there weren't many Mistresses around my area/or they were difficult to locate in pre-Internet days.

I had 16 sessions in the last year. That's a little more than my average.

The last time I indulged in phone sex was 1999.

Dear Mistress Ayn, this is a good question. For me, kink is a part of my life, I probably look at femdom porn/kinky websites about 3-4 times per week and live session every 2 to 3 months. I travel a lot for work and my schedule is unpredictable. The upside of that Is that I have had the good fortune to see many dommes across the country and internationally, the downside is that I am having a difficult time finding the domme to serve regularly. For me the limitation on live sessions is a challenging schedule, and the location on internet femdom porn is that I don't really want my credit card to show a list of purchases from websites that are easily connected to pron, femdom or otherwise. Happy New Year, sissybuttslave

Dear Mistress Ayn,

As You know, i try to session with You as often as possible, but the distances involved make those session simply too far apart, and the overwhelming itch caused me to spoil sessions because of my overexcited "kid in a Candy Shop " mental state when We/we did get to session.

i find that Ayn Rules helps me keep in the proper head space, hearing Your voice and watching You in the videos better manages things and keeps me in my place.

Your new program of having me session with other agreed upon Dominatrix every 4-6 weeks is helping to keep me in better form.

Writing a post session report makes sure that We/we have no secrets building between Us/us and allows You to know where i am in Your training plan. For those reading this and wondering about how this works, the other Domme had session plans for me that Mistress Ayn was not willing to allow. i was required to step back and tell that Domme that where she wanted to take me in session was not a destination that Mistress Ayn desired Her to take me to.

After 5 + years of my serving You, We/we have a special and unique relationship in many ways and as a result when a sub like me is without regular in person sessions the down time needs to be managed .

With a 6-12 month hiatus it is far too easy to lose where one is in the game and experience has taught Us/us that i am far less useful for in session. When We/we session as Your sub i want to be in the proper condition to mentally and physically session at the level that You require, deserve and desire.

Interestingly, with the availability of of Ann Rules and the use of a conditioning or training Domme i watch very little porn and read almost no BDSM porn.

gls

I do phone sessions on NiteFlirt and it is rare that those subs "convert" to a live session - even if they are in the same town. I've always found that interesting.

I think this approach has worked out well for everyone.