Fetish Events in Mainstream Hotels

This topic has been hotly debated over the years. Recently, it made national news when a Hilton Inn hosted a fetish event. Unsuspecting vanilla guests, on a family vacation, complained but, were denied a refund. Hilton defended their refusal of a refund by saying they do not discriminate. The fetish event was on a different side of the hotel but, it had become noticeable to other guests. My feeling on the subject is that adult events do not belong in the mainstream's view. It is inconsiderate and, irresponsible exposure to minors. As many kink events as I've hosted or, attended as a customer, I would not ever want one of my children to have noticed people walking around in fetish gear or, getting freaky in a public hot tub. In addition, why draw unnecessary attention.

Your thoughts?

Hello Cheyenne. I have mixed feelings about this. As fetishists and kinksters we need venues to meet, teach, network and celebrate. Hotels are really the only viable venue for large events. If an event is large enough it can take over the hotel but that is rare. Even events like Fetish Con and DomCon still have vanilla people intermingling with kinksters in elevators and common areas.

I agree that people should not have this foisted on them because they chose to stay at the "wrong" hotel. If we would all be more responsible maybe we could co-exist.

1. Hotels need to do a better job of disclosure to guests and other parties booking events. Sometimes hotels do a good job of disclosure but most of the time they don't. I don't know if it's because booking is now almost fully automated or if they just don't care. One of the worst transgressions I've ever seen was a family reunion being held at the same hotel as a kink event. They rented a ball room and many were staying at the hotel - everything from children to great grannies. The sales department really blew it on that one.

2. Kinksters need to be more discreet. Personally I have a problem with public scenes like leading a sub around on a leash unless it's a kink friendly venue. I know that gets to be a gray area. In My opinion, a hotel lobby is not appropriate (unless the it's a takeover) but Bourbon Street is. In addition, some fetish wear is appropriate for public consumption and others isn't. Just because something is street legal doesn't mean you should wear it in a hotel lobby or a restaurant.

Regarding children, it's preferable that their parents are able to explain the oddities of the world at a time of their choosing, but it doesn't always work that way. I don't have children, so my voice is small on this, but they can see worse on their phones, computer and televisions.

I am not familiar with the news article you mention, but on the surface it does sound like the hotel should have dealt with the situation more sensitively. I hate it when people use the "we don't discriminate" line to avoid penalty. It cheapens the argument for when it is really important.

You make great points. Disclosure is important. A big family reunion with a fetish event? Oh my! Sounds like a National Lampoon family vacation movie.

I agree that discretion is necessary and, should be handled carefully. Most scene people that I know are considerate. Their goal is not to offend anyone. Many are big family people. They wouldn't want to be the the cause for parents to have untimely conversations with children.

Fetish events in Vegas I have to give a pass to. Because...well...it's Vegas. Anyone going to Vegas has to know they may see unusual things.

I had never thought of it like this, but you are right that the hotels have a responsibility to their customers. They should be able to keep the adult events completely separate from the family ones or, decline to take someone's business. Organizers of fetish events should be asking as well. The scene doesn't need bad press and, no should be made to feel uncomfortable.

At the last DomCon in New Orleans the event hotel (this is the 3rd or 4th year at the same hotel) thought it was a good idea to have a fraternity/sorority event at the same time. Their meeting space was on the same floor as ours and of course we saw each other all the time on the property. There was an incident in the elevator where a couple of young men became abusive with two trans women. After that additional security had to be hired by the hotel and we were asked to not be in the common area when their events let out. WTF? Cyan was furious as you might expect. Good old American greed? Or just not paying attention?

Oh my. That does seem like the hotel is asking for it...regardless, mutual respect from all sides is important, yes? Those in the scene are not obscene in public spaces, etc.
If it were a cosplay con, many people would be dressed "sexy" and not be reviled. What is the line? Adults get to play, too!