Odd Behavioral Modification Requests

I hate going to Whole Foods.

The parking is always a PITA. The aisles are narrow and crowded. People are always crashing carts into me or walking in front of me as a reach for something on a shelf. The place feels pretentious and dehumanizing all at the same time.

I still end up there. There is one by my gym.

Every time I go I remember how much I hate it and swore the last time I went that I would not go again.

This time I thought I should hit my hand with a large wooden ruler I have each time I go so I don't forget.

LOL, then I thought "why punish myself when I can have a lot of fun having someone do it for me?"

I could save each receipt, earning a certain number of cane strokes or shocks for each.

That got me to thinking.

Dommes who do behavior modification, what have been some of the more interesting goals clients have asked you to help them achieve?

What is your favorite mode of negative conditioning?

Not answering your direct question but do have to say that the only behavior modification I have ever gotten from Dommes related to Whole Foods is them constantly requesting that I go there and pick something up for them rather than a normal grocery store (or places I know that are better).

Literally never go there for any other reason and just like when a Domme kicks me in the balls, it gives me a rush of submissive joy to be forced to take that pain to please them.

Oh, soapy, you make me laugh . . . The errant little bad boy caught sneaking into Whole Foods and then a leather clad Domme waiting for him at the exit with a ruler. I know that's not what you said, but that is the image your post conjured. Thanks for that little treat today.

Regarding behavior modification. I would love more sessions like that. I seldom get them (maybe because I don't promote that I do them) but the ones I have done have been almost exclusively about weight loss. Typically they involve weigh ins and the sub either gets a punishment (things he hates) or a pleasure (things he loves) session as a result. The most elaborate one went on for months with a MindFuck event (those are CNC experiences that are meant to keep the subject on edge, confused and ever guessing at what is next) at the end. Thankfully he made his goal because a day long MindFuck of things he hated would have been brutal - at least for him.

LOL. I'll take it. I hate the store, forget how much I hate it, and I always find myself there yet again.


What is CNC? Google had "Computer Numeric Control". I don't think you meant that .

Consensual Non-Consent

As far as I can tell behavior modification has been largely subsumed by the life-coaching fad.

My life coach...


Gen. Robeet Neyland

I was tempted while driving home from the gym, but drove on instead. :-)

Good boy.

Accountability! One of the best tools, with or without fun punishment.


I also have only gotten weight-related requests, but neither ended up staying on long enough to check-in again lol.. What with modern technology, spending-related habits could be super well-monitored so as to avoid cheating...With a worthwhile portion going to She who monitors, of course x

I could see a Mistress requiring regular checks on her sub's Fitbit readouts. That could be a fun roleplay.

Less related to the Pro/client dynamic but actually related to this statement is that I actually have done this from the Dominant side of the kneel. The fact that I am a switch who has a female sub who lives in another part of the country is not usually relevant to discussions on this board, but a core part of our relationship is about getting her in shape.

We met through a group on FetLife that was specifically for subs looking for a Dominant to help them get in shape / lose weight. We originally met about 8 years ago and i helped her lose 100 lbs. After that she asked to be released for unrelated reasons, but we stayed in touch as friends.

Unfortunately, over the years she gained it all back (and a little more) and it really frustrated and angered me until it all boiled over and I literally ordered her back into my service (this was definitely a CNC move as it wasn't a negotiated thing). Last year, she lost over 40 lbs and I expect that progress will continue.

For my own part as a sub, I have never had that kind of dynamic with a Domme (and do not want it). However, years ago, when I was working out heavily I specifically utilized female personal trainers because I would literally run through brick walls to please them whereas a male trainer would just make me passive aggressive and actually work less hard.

These two experiences tell me that this kind of behavior modification can be rewarding for both parties. I take a lot of pride in the way I have helped my sub become a better version of herself. On the other side, I can definitely see how My very detailed control over her (and my own trainers literally standing over me and telling me what to do) is incredibly motivating and fulfilling to a submissive who truly wishes to change.

Since you opened the off the board topic I will answer to it. I relate to what you say, I could be either or as well although most of the time I choose to be neither. The reason I do not want to be dominant is that in my mind it equates to being responsible and I have more responsibilities than I care for as it is.

But since you are dominant and do it for a good cause, you should take it seriously. You have to choose goals which are attainable, and where you have a decent chance of success. Having somebody lose 100 pounds is very difficult, but having them keep them off is next to impossible.

Putting weight on and off as a yo-yo is unhealthy. So maybe this time you should shoot for a more achievable weight loss over a longer period of time. Give her a chance to succeed.

The reason she gained all that weight back over a six year period had nothing to do with achievable goals, the speed of her weight loss or any failure on my part, It had to do with poor lifestyle choices in regards to eating and exercise after she chose to no longer be in my control. She had the knowledge and tools to keep it off but chose (again for unrelated reasons) to no longer have the motivating factor of a Dominant "forcing" her to do those things (which IS specifically what she needs as a person).

In the case of both her original weight loss and what is going on today, there are no "goals" for her to meet. That is actually a motivational technique that is important to normal situations but irrelevant to our D/s based one (which IS the topic). The only motivation she needs is the same as with any other assignment a sub gets.. feeling her submission through performing the actions proscribed to her by Me as the Dominant.

My control is about her performing the assignments/activities I assign her on a daily, and even hourly basis, to improve her as a person (of which, losing weight is only one part). You are correct that it is extremely time consuming to have that responsibility towards another person. It also takes an extreme amount of patience and empathy, especially when her actions (or lack of them) means I have to stop my life to focus on correction of hers.

From a Pro/client perspective, I don't believe there is enough money in the world to make this service worthwhile for a Domme to actually perform. It is something that a Dominant, even a Pro, must get personal satisfaction from doing as it is so intense (the same goes with actually taking control of a subs finances rather than findumb bs). That doesn't mean a Pro Domme can't, or shouldn't, offer this type of behavior mod service to those they care enough about to be deemed worthy of it... They just have to know that the financial remuneration isn't worth the effort (unless the level of effort is only task assignment with no actual care as to whether the sub performs the tasks). Which means the Domme's rewards for Her efforts does have to be about something more personal as well.

This is interesting Asp and I can relate. I decided last summer I was going to lose weight, get fit and stay fit once and for all. Part of my motivation was I knew I wanted to become involved in BDSM and I wanted to be a better version of myself. I'm down 35lbs but have more to go. I don't currently have a personal trainer, but in the past I have worked with two female trainers and one male trainer. I would work harder for the women. I wouldn't necessarily work less hard for the guy, I think I just really wanted to impress the women. Lol

It's amazing what you can accomplish when properly motivated.

Exactly and that is f'n awesome... Keep up the great work

I agree with you on motivation. Weight Watchers uses a similar system, they just make you measure weight periodically in front of a person of opposite sex. If you are serious about weight loss, and obviously you are, physical exercise has only 20% impact, diet is the real thing.

I loose weight before sessions too, and I think everybody does. You want to look your best. The thing is life is complicated, losing weight is feasible, keeping it off very difficult, and if you mix work with play sometimes you get to conflicting goals for both parties. On one hand you are serious about it, on the other it becomes an opportunity to play.

Dear Asp,

My apologies if I am getting on your nerves. I am interacting so much with you because I find you interesting, colorful and I see you as a character. I am not trying to judge you or to criticize on you.

I don't mind spending the money to shop at Whole Foods.

They actually have better prices on some things than the local supermarket.

I just hate BEING in Whole Foods.

I pass by there almost every day. I'm about 4 days in a row skipping temptation by thinking about this thread as I drive by .

He's definitely a character.

Sure... A character... Not someone with character... I see what you did there

Got that right ....

Harvey Keitel was saying in Pulp fiction: "If you are a character that does not mean that you have character." But the was not talking about you, because you are a character and have character too.