Fetishes

I never really thought I had any fetishes until just recently. I suppose opening up to explore this side of myself I will discover a lot I didn't know, or how deep my interests go.

I think I have been aware as long back as I can remember, without acknowledging why, that the sound of heels clicking grabs my attention. If you believe as certain early psychologists did that it stems from associations early on... possibly this was subconsciously planted from years in Catholic school and taps on military boots. For those not familiar, taps on military boots are used for during competitions and exhibitions to demonstrate discipline and precision. Drill instructors also wear them for intimidation purposes.

Regardless of where it originates, I have become aware of how aroused and/or distracted I get when I see boots - specifically knee high or higher. During my first session with Mistress Ayn she wore boots and I loved kneeling at her feet. Unfortunate for me, knee high boots are in this Fall season and I'm seeing them at work, out and about, everywhere it seems!

So it seems I have a fetish for boots. Do you have any fetishes? When did you realize you had a fetish for something particular? Did you always have it or did it just develop?

Interesting topic. I have an affection for boots and, gloves. There were times I'd have a long day of sessions and, just not feel like it. My mind was anywhere else. But, I knew that once I heard the zipper go up on my boot, everything would be right. Black leather gloves just seem to be mandatory for a good caning. They go together like coffee and, doughnuts.

Here is a question for you, is having an "Affection" for something the same as an actual fetish? Over the years, I met a few clients that were so focused on their "Fetish" that they couldn't enjoy anything else. It was like an itch that could never be scratched for them. I also met a lot of clients that enjoying certain wardrobe and, play but, loved it all. That seemed much healthier for them and, made for a more enjoyable session.

Thanks for your reply. That is interesting how putting on a clothing item/hearing the zipper would change your mindset.




Good question, and I wasn't sure I should use the nomenclature "fetish". I suppose it depends on the definition of fetish you go by. If I'm using fetish to describe an ordinary object that causes sexual arousal, then yes. But, if I'm saying fetish as in it is something that must be present in order for me to get excited, then no. Because yes, I do enjoy it all.

For me a fetish is an appetizer, seduction if you will, of devilishly sensual and erotic surprises to come. It is a triggering mechanism, no question about it.

In my case it is backless high heels. Open toes are best. Open toe backless heels and clear are the ultimate. Or black in the same style. Especially... ESPECIALLY if the Mistress is not wearing any stockings. Just bare legs. (Worshipping feet, after the Mistress wears those shoes, is the fetish.) It provides me the illusion that anything is possible and puts me in the mood.

Years ago, as I got into this fetish, I requested a Mistress to wear those type heels. (Empress Dominique in her NJ studio had great acoustics for this, as well as gorgeous feet and legs.) The Mistress would tell me to get undressed, prepare for Her entrance. I'd be knees and my heart would be racing. Then, from a distance behind the closed door I could hear the "clip, clapping" sound of Her high heels hitting the floor as She came closer to the door.

The "clip" was the first sound of the high heel hitting, usually a hardwood floor. The "clapping" was the usually moist heel of the Mistress released its grip on the sole of the shoe, making muffled echo. I'd begin to sweat, wondering what She would be wearing and what the Mistress was going to do to me... ultimate anticipation.

(After describing this I think I need a cold shower. LOL!)

So... I have a really long list of "fetishes", but Cheyenne actually brought out what I was going to. My fetish list is mostly things that just get me a little aroused but doesn't have an overwhelming effect on me and drive me instantly into "dripping" or subspace.

However, there are a couple of very specific things that do and with those I am a true fetishist (meaning it has to be worn or done in a certain way for it to really get me going). Those things that are true fetishes for me are:

- Kneeling and kissing a foot tattoo on a Domme who is wearing non-strappy pumps. I love body worship in general and tattoo worship in particular (because that is a symbol of something that the Domme herself has done to her body to decorate it so kissing that part of her skin is more intimate to me than just undecorated parts). My favorite tattoos are large and take up the middle of the foot so that the pumps actually frame the tattoo like a picture:



I will literally drop straight into subspace if a Domme has a foot tattoo and we start the session with me kneeling to kiss it as my greeting.

- Being bound tightly and voyeuristically watching a Domme (or multiple Dommes) put on their makeup and do their hair... with the ultimate moment being when they apply their lipstick. Again, like with all true fetishes, I get a thrill when I see a woman primping in general (and especially applying lipstick), but the true fetish is that entire scene of being a bound voyeur while they are getting ready for me.

- Female orgasm... Literally the only thing I will ever ask or beg for during a session. Couldn't care less about my own, but when a Domme (or any woman) cums for me it is just an incredible feeling that I cannot describe.

- Blue jeans and high heeled pumps or boots... but, again, like a lot of fetishes it has to be just right (and actually is very 80s/90s) in that the jeans have to fall across the mid-foot so that the top of the shoe and heel is actually hidden rather than today's styles which always stop at the ankle (or higher) to show off the whole shoe.

Here is an example:


- A Domme wearing something orange for me... I do have a thing for the color orange and because it is unique (and easy to play to) it is something that we joke around about a lot so it is pretty well known amongst my Dommes. In all honesty, it is not a true fetish rather than something I like, just like latex or yoga pants or business suits with stockings. However, because it is unique, some of my Dommes will purchase some orange pieces, whether it is lingerie, shoes or latex specifically to use them with me. When they reveal that during a session... that they care enough about me to actually buy something just to tease me with... it really pushes me over the edge.

The detail of these descriptions show what I feel are the differences between something I like a lot and a fetish because the fetish is very specific to get that full reaction out of me (and the reason why Dommes hate seeing pure fetishists, since they absolutely top from the bottom to get it exactly right).

As for the whole "it stems from childhood" thing... I totally disagree with that idea. I think in some cases it can, but my foot tattoo fetish and the bound voyeur/makeup thing happened in an instant during sessions... my orange obsession started in college and had to do with upskirts of the cheerleaders (who wore orange panties) and all of the gorgeous college girls wearing orange all of the time... the orgasm thing is just the ultimate expression of pleasure by a woman in a sexual situation (and i am all about pleasing a woman).

I think that psychologists feel the need to find that core explanation of an experience rather than it just being something that innately appeals to you as a person based on brain chemistry. Its nature vs nurture as applied to fetishes. The fact is that you can find the same threads in fashion itself over the entire history of it because certain things (like our shared love of women in long heeled boots) just strike at evolutionary predilections in relation to sexuality.

It didn't take a childhood experience or even a new one to make me love yoga pants, since they didn't exist back then. But, I remember the first time I saw them and was completely enamored (btw... Yoga pants are the single greatest thing that has ever happened to the airport experience in the US). It was just an innate thing that attracted me immediately, just like most of the other items on my fetish list.

Yeah, I'm not saying it has to or always does stem from childhood or early on, but I just found myself wondering where this new found frustrating distraction stemmed from since it hasn't always been a "thing". I wondered if it came from strict disciplinarian scenarios from my past. It felt like it was lying dormant and was triggered. Maybe I should just blame Mistress Ayn.

Thank you Jungle and Asp for those detailed descriptions. I felt like I could almost see and hear that whole scene through your eyes Jungle. It's so very interesting what turns different people on and how specific or vague it may be.

I agree Asp, even though I've never watched a Domme get ready, I think watching a woman put on her make-up/do her hair is sexy.





Ha! Understandable.

When I'm out or at work I'm getting to the point where in my head I'm saying "for the love of... quit wearing those boots!"

Mistress Ayn has made several posts in the last 2 years about how she enjoys sessions with submissives considerably more than those with fetishists. However submission and fetish are not mutually exclusive (Asp is a very good example).

I have become largely indifferent to the outfits of Dommes (though really lousy ones can be a detriment) My only real persistent fetish is the Punishment Vibe and even that has become more abstract in nature (when I was younger it involved a lot of role playing but I have gotten away from that).

fetish
[ˈfediSH]
NOUN
a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc..

I most definitely have a fetish for feet ,high heels and beige nylons. This fetish is at the root of all my masochistic and submissive fantasies. I was born in the 1950s and my earliest memories are of crawling around at my mother's feet while she was wearing heels and nylons. This is really deep seated in me. It’s like the tiny seed that was the beginning of the giant redwood of my now wide variety of bdsm activities. Things have morphed and changed over the years but this is the base of it all. I still request it every time I see someone new. A woman’s feet and shoes and legs are the first thing I look at in public and I still get this jolt when I see an attractive woman in heels and am fascinated to tell if she is wearing nylons or is bare legged which is still a turn on as well.

“Here is a question for you, is having an "Affection" for something the same as an actual fetish? Over the years, I met a few clients that were so focused on their "Fetish" that they couldn't enjoy anything else. It was like an itch that could never be scratched for them. I also met a lot of clients that enjoying certain wardrobe and, play but, loved it all. That seemed much healthier for them and, made for a more enjoyable session.”

This really hits close to home. As I stated in more detail in my reply to the op I have a huge fetish for high heel shoes and nude nylons. This is incredibly strong within me and the base for the perv I have become. I’ve probably been sessioning for 35-40 years. I am ashamed to admit this and have much regret that probably for the first 10, even 15 years I would be totally upset and let down if the Mistress did not wear this and could not enjoy the session. Luckily at some point things changed and I have become so much more relaxed about things. The fetish is still very powerful within me but I’ve learned to see experienced Dommes that I trust and just turn myself over to them. I still make my fetish very well known to them but if the bdsm is good the fetish becomes less important in an individual session.

Here is one adventure that my high heel foot/leg fetish got me involved in. Years ago I dated a lady who I sessioned with. (That is a LONG separate post for another time.)

We were the same age, early 30s, and I met her through a well-known domina. She fit the bill as a stunning Viking Queen, a 5' 10" or so (without heels), fit, busty blonde who was also wonderfully dominant. I was taller than her but she was intimidating. And she found out how much I loved backless, open-toed high heels and bare legs. Something clicked between us and after two sessions we began dating. I then found out she was sexually dominant also.

By the second or third date I picked her up for dinner and she had on backless high heels, no stockings, and a tasteful floral dress and shawl. The expression on my face said it all and she grinned as I brought her to my car in her parking garage.

Before putting on her seat belt she turned to me, smiled and pointed to her feet and bare legs. "This is called, 'immediate access.' " I stammered and said, "What's that?" She came close and whispered, "Whenever I wear backless heels and no stockings it means I'm not wearing panties. That means you can take me wherever and whenever you want."

As I practically jumped out to the backseat she put her arm on my shoulder, laughed, and said, "Not now, I'm hungry! If we do it now we'll wind up in my apartment and never get to the restaurant!"

I knew she was right. I followed orders and went to the restaurant. To speed the process I ordered exactly what she ordered. As the waiter came over with the dessert menu she said, "No thanks." I asked for the check.

She then whispered to me sticking her foot and leg out ever so slightly from under the table, "All I want is 'immediate access.' Don't you?" She kissed me on the cheek like I was a little boy, and giggled. How I didn't get a speeding ticket back to her apartment is beyond me.

We used that catch phrase for a long time... Thank God for fetishes.

ha ha, I sessioned with Dommes in sweatpants and tshirts.

If the nature of the session is that I'm not there, or I'm locked into a sensory deprivation appliance of some sort, what do I know, and what could be more comfortable for her?

po

I loved/love feet and high heels. it's one of the first things I notice.
And yes, in early elementary school, when you're not supposed to be sexually aware.

I acted out on this occasionally, and used "accidental" opportunities.

Poester, c'mon... don't be a tease. I probably share too many adventures. Share at least one of your " 'accidental' opportunities."

I do not consider myself a fetishist, but I think that this can be a natural inclination or an acquired taste. I think I can get into the second category when I find a fetish which I think is of the essence of a mistress I am very close to. The same goes for activities.

Oh, well, OK. Some would call me a spanking fetishist because that's what I seek and it's really my only "bdsm" activity.

But a fetish (the classic definition) refers to fixation on an inanimate object, not a person or an activity, usually with some emotional context. I have a real fetish, and it's about slips (the woman's undergarment, for those too young to know). Like many things in this biz, my slip fetish and its relationship with spanking was formulated in my childhood. I'm old enough so that when I was a kid, although I wasn't spanked at home, several of my friends were.

The stay-at-home moms back then we usually the spankers in the household. Also, in those days, a woman wore a slip, and it wasn't uncommon for her to do housework wearing only a slip, waiting until she needed to go out before getting fully dressed. I often saw my friends' moms in their slip when visiting after school - nobody was embarrassed, and, yes, there were occasional threats of a spanking if we got too rowdy, though it never happened.

The though of this lovely woman pulling me across her slip-clad lap stuck with me, and as I got older I'd notice when a woman's slip was showing a bit under her skirt, and that triggered the thought "I wonder if she'll spank me."

To this day, when I visit a professional for a spanking, I ask if she has a slip she could wear. Some do, and those spankings are always the best.

That era probably left many young men visiting dominatrixs. What you describe, I've always found hot. When I would film or, conduct spanking scenes, I liked the clicking of the high heel. Tapping my foot, arms folded across my chest, with the hair brush, paddle, ect. set out where the sub could see it. Although, I've never switched, when I see my fiancee coming from work and, take his belt off, it turns me on. The subtle aspects can make a scene hot.

One of my clients was a true spanking fetishist. He was a blast. I had to wear a tight skirt that showed panty lines. He was very specific. He'd even call me by his high school teacher's name. Some true fetishes are impossible to please...but this guy was easy going and, always had a blast.

Oh, yeah, teachers! My 4th grade teacher, Miss McCandless, was from Georgia, had this saucy southern accent. and often a bit of slip would peek out from the slit at the back of her skirt. When someone was talking in class when they should be listening, she'd walk over to the student's desk, point sternly, and say: "Be quiet, now, or I'll spank you gooouuuud!"

She never actually spanked anyone, though many times at home after school, I would wonder "what if, really?" Hers was the only class where I was a bit disruptive at times. Normally I was a very good boy.

And, yes, I've role-played that scene, though I discovered that as a senior citizen, I didn't much care to pretend that I was 10 years old. But as an adult, however, I "visited" my old teacher whose daughter, also a teacher, was visiting with her at the time, and we reminisced about those spankings I never got, but her daughter was happy to provide. Sadly, no slips involved, though. Kids these days!