HOW DID YOU FIND YOUR FIRST MISTRESS?

I found my first Mistress in the New York Magazine which no longer carries this type of advertising.
Let me know how you found yours.
All the best,
wolf

Your post made me meta-ponder a bit what the word "mistress" means.

Is it the more casual sense, first person you ever sessioned with? If so, I was pointed to her by another submissive who I'd met through a sex-oriented forum (basically, like the one we're on now).

Or is it the more substantive sense, first woman I truly internalized submission to, even outside of session? Maybe call that "Big-M Mistress"? If so, I met her in ... a strip club! She was a gorgeous stripper who was truly a prodigy, and went form "Dominate you? Sounds fun, I'll try that, teach me!" to very quickly being able to read and manipulate my emotions (something I expect only very skilled experienced mistresses to be able to do) in a matter of weeks.

My first was a bad experience. I went to a N. Cal. massage parlor, dominant masseuse and asked to be spanked because I'd read how the pain can turn to intense pleasure. She tied me kneeling and had at me with a large wooden paddle. Needless to say the pain only turned to more pain and the experience almost turned me off from the scene.

Then through the old "Berkeley Barb" I contacted a professional Domina through use of the SASE (now I'm dating myself but to all of you who've only texted and emailed, it's a self addressed, stamped envelope). She led me on a wonderful journey of enemas, bondage, spankings and cross dressing and I'm still at it to this day.

L am going to echo Swordfish and note that there is a semantics problem with this question. So I am not going to count some early tease & denial experiments nor my first "spanking".

My first real mistress was named Heather and she worked in a CT "health spa" where some laws were broken. At first I went there for vanilla but when I expressed some interest in some S&M one of the ladies said Heather was the establishment's specialist in that. So I sought her out next time. Heather was quite intense both in terms of pain and domination. Sometimes the lady in an adjourning room would yell out something like "tone it down, Heather!"

Screw magazine. But that was a lifetime ago.

NYCRick we must be from the same "era" - Screw Magazine. It had pictures and I found Mistress Belle De Jour there in the 1970s. But in the 1990s I found a couple of mistresses in New York magazine's "Role Play" ads, no pictures. That ad section no longer exists.

I am asking where did you find her on what media?????

I'm dating myself like Marstoy. But, DDI magazine and SASEm too.

That's how I found Belle too, Junglepet. The wig place on 13th Street back around '76. I later found some ads in NY mag too. After that there were other mags like Dominant Mystique etc. How did we survive without the internet?

NYCRick, we seemed to have survived and done alright I guess with great memories. In my opinion "phone sessions" developed from the give and take of calling a Mistress for information and to book a session. Belle indulged me a couple of times (along with a couple of other Mistresses of that era) and warned more than once after seducing me by phone, "Stop playing with yourself and get in here!" Most times I did... "get in here" that is.

NYC Rick, yes, the wig store on e.13th Street. That was the site of my first bdsm session also. It was very unsatisfying (I don't recall what I possibly expected) and I never expected to become a lifetime fan of domination. But, then I met in a college setting one of Belle's nieces, who lived on Pineapple Street in Brooklyn. I was in Grad School and She was an undergrad at LIU in Brooklyn. I became Her tutor in certain school work and She (who also worked part time as a Domme for Her Aunt) became my bed mate and an educator about bdsm. We had 3/4 trysts until her boy friend answered a call from me one day with threats of physical violence. So, I stopped looking for Her, and started reading and experimenting with others.

My history goes back to the pre-Internet days. One day i ventured into an adult bookstore and bought a Female Domination magazine. There were some contact ads in the magazine. I followed the reply directions. Basically, i wrote a letter, put it in an envelope with my return address and postage. On the envelop i wrote a code from the magazine ad. And i inserted one dollar for each letter. It took months sometimes to get a reply.

Junglepet, one of the most unusual - and memorable - sessions I ever had was with Belle keeping me on a leash at her feet for the whole time while she conducted her business. Including meeting a female friend who had come over to gossip. That was the session, me just at the end of her leash the whole time while she talked and worked. Maybe not for everybody, but I found it totally mind-blowing for my submissive psyche.

When you went to the strip club did you have BDSM in mind? Or did you just want to watch some strippers?
All the best,
wolf

Does anyone remember SCREW Magazine? Actually a paper but anyway, that's where i found my first Mistress. Got up the nerve and called the number, made an appointment and was hooked ever since!

Always,bdsm in mind, I've loved playing in the strip club for years. You'll find everything from strippers with no experience but excited and amused to try, to strippers who are known in the club as the domination specialists. Not every girl wants to play, but she'll often point you to a stripper who will. They won't have the skills and equipment of an experienced pro domme, but for me, there's the extra excitement that I'm submitting to someone who doesn't do it for a living.

Anyway, that particular stripper told me she'd played lightly in her personal life, and dominated a customer here and there in the club. But under the tutelage of an experienced sub, she turned out to be a genuine prodigy, and I don't use that term lightly. She even did a short stint as a pro domme, years later

I used Screw magazine also but back then I was looking for an escort. The address door had two buzzers labeled A & B. Pushed the wrong one. The Domme who answered generated instant wood. The right buzzer was a disappoint. I went back, tried the “B” again. I was hooked. I two visited Belle and used Dominant Mystique and other weekly newspapers of that ilk.

NYCRick, I did an unusual one with Belle once also in the early '70s when I was in college. I was invited to her apt. very early - 7:30 or 8 am - and be a "Roman bath slave." I was told to make thong out of rags and wear it under my street clothes. I got to her apt., she was half asleep. Belle told me to undress immediately and I was ordered to the bathroom and fill the tub with water and her favorite bath oils. In minutes she returned wearing high heel slippers and a silk robe. I was ordered on my knees to remove her slippers and worship her feet. Then I was told to remove her robe and saw her in all of her natural glory. I helped her into the bath and ordered to bathe her with a washcloth very slowly. I was aroused beyond words. At the end I helped her out of the bath and slowly dried her off. She put on her robe and slippers and I was ordered into her bedroom. I then helped dress her and by the time she was dressed I was on the bedroom floor, flustered and horny with her standing over me ordering me to pleasure myself saying things like, "Hurry up, I don't have all day!" It didn't.

I also had an awful first experience which I related on Max several times.
As I did you also found your way to to the high country.
All the best,
wolf

I met my first in an AOL chatroom - NJ Dungeon, I think? Anyway, I was quite young and inexperienced so we exchanged phone numbers and I met her in South Jersey somewhere for a great foot worship session. I bought her dinner and then back to her place to play. It turned out to be a 1 night thing though because I ticked her off somehow the next day. It was great though.

YMP

One point I want to make for the record and that is when I met Belle and had several sessions with it was around '73 or '74. She just emerged as a domina, not to mention the premiere domina of NYC, with the help of Screw Magazine where I originally found her. I was a college kid of 20, 21 and didn't know any better, Belle was in her late 40s, with a lifetime of experience, but relatively new to sessioning with subs from ads vs. people she met privately. To give you an idea how it was back then at the end of my first or second session with her Belle whispered to me, "Do you have a girl friend?" I said to myself, "If I had one I wouldn't be here." I told Belle no and she ordered me to the bathroom to clean up and get dressed. When I emerged she asked if I knew what Plato's Retreat was and if I wanted to go there with her and do my role play. I was too young and shy, so I declined. Things were a bit more adventurous in sessions in the pre-AIDS era and, looking back, she spoiled me. I dropped out of the scene in the mid-70s but when I came back in the early '80s I contacted Belle and sessioned either with her or dominas she recommended because she knew my role play. I trusted her.

Philadelphia City Paper, in around 1992. The Paper recently went out of business.

When I first started i was not aware of Screw Magazine

SCREW Magazine was alright. I also bought and read CORPORAL, FETISH TIMES, and DOMINANT MYSTIQUE all good papers with stories and contacts in the back pages. There were seldom telephone numbers attached to the ads and you had to use the U.S. mail and put a number code on the envelope to whom you were contacting.
I also remember buying a magazine called AGGRESSIVE GALS that had some very legit ads from across the country.

DOI was a beautiful magazine which I discovered Mistress Caress in.
All the best,
wolf

Telephone sessions are like listening to the radio when you can watch on TV. I am sure after the first session this fact certainly entered your mind.

All the best,
wolf

I believe of all the subs in the scene you have by far the BEST experience. I hope that from the second session on it was as good.

All the best.
wolf

This post gave me great nostalgia. My junior year in college, I found a mistress in LA from LAXpress, she dressed me in a dress and took me with a small flexible vibrator. Then after graduation in Philadelphia, the classifieds in Philadelphia magazine led me to the dungeons of Mistress Renee, that was such a great session, forced fem and my first realistic strapon. I was shaking at the pre session interview, Mistress Renee raised her eyebrows and said "your anticipation will make this better" with a wicked smile. That was so exciting!!! The next one was in south Fla, with the mistress that goes by ms indeep, she dressed me up and also used her magical strapon. She laughed at me because I couldn't take the chemise off at the end of the session, she had to help me. Thanks for a great question.

In addition to Screw, DDI and later NY Magazine, there were also ads in the Village Voice. These were all early sources for me.

it seems that most of the printed contact information has gone out as well. It seems today only the internet is useful.

All the best,
wolf

I had never cared for SCREW Mag. but the others i had never seen.
All the best,
wolf

When I first started DDI advertisers were far too expensive for me.
I have to admit that they were the most attractive.
All the best,
Wolf