Took things for granted when I was younger

Unsure if this is true for many out there but there is a real struggle for me to session. I have some local options however haven’t found someone with the right chemistry. If I see the word findom I vomit. When someone does not have any rope experience (finding this true with many new Prodoms) then I will pass on the session.

Back in my teens I would browse various Prodoms websites and would get excited to one day session with them. It would never occur to me that these same people could move to a different city or retire. 15 years later and after having a few sessions it’s challenging to find someone. Makes it impossible when classified sites closed down so experienced Doms who once visited my area no longer do due to uncertainties of income and expenses.

Unfortunately I do not travel a lot.

Curious if anyone else is having a challenging time finding someone to session with. Pretty sure I’m not the only one

Thanks for chiming in

It is not as easy as the old days. I myself have a smoking fetish. 15-20 years ago if I was going to Cleveland, 95% of the Dommes smoked. Now there are 1/3 of the Dommes available and only a few smoke. Smoking is not my only interest but the field has been narrowed greatly.
Funny thing, 20 years ago strapon was an area Dommes didn’t go in most sessions. Now it is hard for them to avoid. Times have changed.

I don’t smoke but I am in the industry so I understand your struggle. Times are definitely evolving. Never expected it in the link world. It honestly feels I had a lot of missed chances in the past.

Rope does seem to be a dying art form in the Pro community. I am among those that don't have the patience for it - preferring leather bondage. I don't know where in NC you are, but Simone Kross visits some NC cities and she is very skilled with rope.



I was just talking with someone the other day about how trends in session requests change over time. There was a time when I could go weeks without a request for strapon. Now it's on almost everyone's list of requests. Since trends appear to be sub driven, I never really thought about what it's like to be on the other end and see one of your interests die because as new Dommes are trained, that is not part of the training. In my conversation we were specifically talking about medical fetish, which to us seems to be in a down trend. If subs quit showing an interest in it, I can imagine that less and less Dommes will take the time to learn how to do it, making it harder for a sub with that fetish to find someone to session with. Interesting topic.

Simone Kross is great. I did see her when she was in Charlotte. Quite difficult to make the drive and go back in a single day. First time I traveled that long for a session. Found the entire experience stressful.

Wouldn’t mind experiencing leather bondage. Requires an investment in gear. Lately I have been buying gear to take to sessions instead of having sessions. At the moment it’s the better investment.

Mistress Ayn you used to visit. Hoping you swing by

I know what you mean. Back in the late 90’s early 2000’s two big times Dommes I used to see tied me up more rather than now most just want use cuff and clip it on to the cross or bench. I get why they do it because it’s quicker than tying up every wrist and ankle when switching position. Also clothes pins hardly anyone used them for CBT nipples most slap or kick my balls. After being away for over 10 years I’m trying to make a comeback but no luck yet.

Yup that as well. Slap some restraints on my wrist and call it bondage

Love the process of being meticulous tied as well. Causes a great panic that my life is in someone’s mercy now

I don't know if you're near Philly, but Mistress Renee does elaborate rope work, among a ton of other specialties. My one session with her was memorable.

I love rope, but to be fair, a lot of clients don't want to take the time, and I respect that. I think most people would be more into rope and enemas if it did not eat such a large chunk of session time. I have some loyalists to those practices and that is good, however I have invested in a lot of rapid bondage devices to get the helplessness set up and on to the other activities. I am not complaining, I still find it all very interesting, but I can understand how a domme would not invest so much time in medical or rope training.

Conversely shibari and kinbaku has enjoyed a huge popularity here in Paris in the past few years--mostly in the lifestyle and male dom community , but it's something. Now that my French is better I am going to sign up for some refresher classes. Who knows. I already have a suspension rig in my dungeon if it comes back in fashion.

I usually do a 2hr session. Yes I do agree it’s time consuming. Even though they aren’t young these Dommes I’m guessing they don’t care for it or aren’t too good at it maybe. Or perhaps it’s not requested much anymore.

I’m not too far from Philly about 45mins. I heard on Max about her comeback. Perhaps I should check it out. Thanks

It’s excellent that you invest. We need more of that in the industry. I would love to do leather bondage (arm binder, sleepsack, etc). I’m finding many Dommes these days are investing in cheap Amazon toys.

It’s one reason why I ask if they are versed in rope. It helps me understand whether they are truly passionate about kink.

It really comes down to your interests in kink. For me it’s bondage. Bondage for me isn’t slapping some cuffs on with a clip which I feels like happens today

I also saw Renee once when she was traveling. She is fantastic. Being 45 minutes away you should definitely go see her.

I am sure there are many dommes who enjoy their skills. You probably have to look.

Does no one have mentors anymore?

Don't tell me these dommes came out of the womb in leather diapers. One must have a teacher to learn basic things that are technical, not instinct.

I’m sure they do. I guess it’s more about what’s popular these days.

That’s exactly how I feel about rope and enemas. I always tell someone I am seeing for the first time that I am not into bondage for bondage sake but if she enjoys it then I’m fine with it which is true. And I have had some great intense sessions where I was slowing immobilised with rope and straps while being tortured with different implements. The building of the restriction and discomfort by an unrelenting Domme I loved and trusted made for a great session.

As for enemas I love strapon and always do a couple Fleets before a session but sometimes it isn’t enough so the Domme will administer a bag enema. It’s ok but not my favorite activity. As you say it takes up too much time although there is some humiliation involved with the Domme standing over me while I try to expel it all.

It's definitely an ease-of-use thing for me, though I love rope. There is something so intimate about the time it takes to bind (and unbind) someone properly. If I know we will be moving positions in a shorter timeframe, however, I am more likely to use cuffs.

Clothespins are great! They have a classic feel to them. I must say, I had a hard time finding wooden ones as opposed to plastic, so I now have a stock of both but gravitate to the former.

Time is my biggest gripe about rope. I like/need to change a sub's positions every 20-30 minutes. Elaborate rope work just takes too much time to just have to undo it after that short a time. In pro sessions I prefer cuffs, mitts, chains, straps, etc.

I am with you on the clothespins. I prefer wooden too and only use the plastic ones when I travel or for use on a sub females due to sanitation. I've had pretty good luck finding wooden clothespins at Walmart and most recently I found some cool colored wooden ones at Target - in case you need to replenish your stock.

All good points. Never knew these issues with rope. We are all different and it feels like my interests are more difficult to find. I’m not looking for my entire session to be rope. If I can have one scene with rope then I am a happy person. I’m not looking for anything artistic. Just tightly tied.

I recall having a 2 hour session where I was in a lot of scenes. This mistress had a great play space but it all felt very rushed going from one scene to the next. Told her afterwards it felt rushed and I enjoy rope so she understood what I was looking for.

I have always visioned bondage to be tight. Difficult to move. Whether it’s by rope or other gear. If you are not versed with rope but have great gear then I would be fine with this trade off. When you have no rope skills and crappy gear then this is where my annoyance starts. This is where I see many new mistress transitioning. This is why I ask if a mistress is experienced in rope or not. Just to get the idea of what their true passions are. My opinion is a good mistress would like to learn.

Same here - I have a huge smoking/ human ashtray fetish and this is integral to my sessions. Sorry to see that it is very hard to find this attribute in many Mistresses.

[quote=Mistress Ayn] I've had pretty good luck finding wooden clothespins at Walmart and most recently I found some cool colored wooden ones at Target - in case you need to replenish your stock. [/quote

Marvelous, I will keep that in mind. Thank you!

Yea... Thanks Mistress Ayn... We all appreciate it when You help out Your sadistic sisters like that