What do you do if there is a misrepresentation?

I would like the members opinion on something. If you walk into a session and the mistress doesn't look like her photos or there is some other glaring misrepresentation what do you do? Do the session anyway. Walk out? Just curious.

It's a trap! Run RUN!

Depends on how large the discrepancy is.

Almost everyone goes up and down 5 - 10 lbs here and there.

If the professional still seems interesting and I have had a good rapport in communications no problems.


However if it is like 20/30 lbs or more, or she is visibly much older than her pictures I would just say something diplomatic and walk away.

I've never walked out of a session. I really don't think I have the balls for that. What diplomatic thing would you say that would allow you to just walk out?

I've never had it be really bad with appearance like being heavier or older or such nothing I couldn't live with so far. I did have a major disappointment with a dungeon facility though. It wasn't anything like she pictured on her website or described there. I had wanted things like suspension and a cock pillory and a few other things and she didn't have them but they were listed on the website. It bothered me through the whole session and it ruined it for me. When I asked her about it at the end she said she had moved and hadn't updated her website.

I've walked. I gave her half the tribute, and damn near ran out the door. She was at least 20 years older than her gallery photos. She was perhaps 40 pounds heavier, maybe more. Her place was a mess, and smelled like garbage.

I've had one other terrible experience with a mistress that had dogs in the dungeon. The carpet was infested with biting fleas. I couldn't get out fast enough!

Yeah i've never walked out either, I don't have the heart for it, i'd feel bad.

The only time where i've met up with a domme who kind of misrepresented herself was my first session with a pro-domme, she had it listed on her Eros ad that she was offering discounts for college students which is part of why I picked her. She didn't actually list her age, but had photos that made her look much younger to me (but didn't show a face). She also said in the advertisement she was very sadistic.

I show up and turns out she's in her late 40's or 50's! (Not assuming this from looks either, she said she had a son who was around 17...) Before we started she said she hoped I was alright with sessioning with a woman of her age and I flat out lied and said that I preferred dommes who were significantly older than me. I honestly would have been able to get over that initial shock of her age, if not for the fact that the session ended up being the most awkward experience of my life. She was the kindest, sweetest woman i've ever met, which doesn't exactly go well with my preferences in dommes and wasn't exactly what I was expecting (nor what was advertised). She gave me one little thwack with a riding crop that was old and dull as per her own admission, and even that she was hesitant to hit me with and asked if I were okay after the one hit, even after I said I was okay she was still very hesitant to give me too many smacks on the bottom with it. At the end of the session she ordered me to masturbate to an orgasm but I just couldn't, and to me it looked like she kind of looked disappointed or hurt by that. I repeatedly assured her that I enjoyed the session since I felt like it would be mean to tell her that I was completely disappointed by it.

After that session I learned my lesson to thoroughly research who I session with. My next session was far more better, it was in an actual dungeon studio, the domme looked better than she did in her pics if anything, and she was every bit as sadistic as advertised.

I’ve addressed this before, I think. It’s happened less than a handful of times to me over the years, most before online ads. If it is misrepresentation, or something doesn’t feel right, get out of there. It is a matter of safety. I’ve given half or all of the tribute, or nothing, depending upon the situation, if I remember correctly.

Again, safety first.

Sucks that happened to you. I always wonder why not be up front about these things. Cause you are going to have a lot of one and done type clients that way.

Thanks assniffer1999. It's good to hear I am not the only one that would have a hard time just walking out. Your situation sounded much worse than mine. You were a trooper to go through with it. I really don't know what I would do it if was that bad.

I do more research now too and I don't think I would see anyone that didn't post pics of their face.

Wow. That is terrible. I never really thought about paying part of the tribute and then leaving as a way to get out of it more gracefully. What did you say when you walked out? That is the part that gets me. I just wouldn't know what to say to bow out.

It has happened a couple of times, in a way. Mistress has a strapon and will use. In get there and it is the size of King Kong and the only one she has. Needless to say it would not fit.
I know how to get better information now.

In the situation you describe, it would have been beyond considerate to give her twenty dollars, explain that equipment is important to you and, if her facilities change, please contact you.

Years ago, I traveled a good bit and, did sessions on the road. Usually, I'd rent a cabin in the woods and, convert it into a rustic dungeon. (Loved that.) But, on one trip, to see my regular clients in Ohio, most of them wanted the convenience of a hotel, instead of traveling an extra 45 miles. So, I changed venues. One of my favorite clients who I liked a lot, was so disappointed. He went through the session anyway and, didn't tell me how he felt until the end. I still feel bad about that, to this day. Most Doms want to walk away from a session, knowing she rocked the sub's world, not disappointed him. Sessions require a good bit of money and, emotional energy. Better to speak up and, get what you want or, politely say, "No thank you."

From a woman's side of this, I can't begin to imagine how it would feel to have a client show up, look at you and, see the disappointment in their eyes. People aren't stupid, they can sense that. Why would a woman want to set herself up for that? Of course, it isn't fair to the client but, gosh, it must be an esteem crusher for the woman.

Hello subjohn,

I am very sorry to hear this happened to you. To make it worse, it sounds like you probably didn't even realize the equipment wasn't there until the session was under way. I hope that you sent the Domme a note explaining your disappointment. Maybe she didn't realize how important the Dungeon equipment/atmosphere was to you (although she should and should not have misrepresented it online).

I agree with Cheyenne that it would be devastating to see the disappointment in sub's. I don't know how anyone could set themselves up for that. Desperate for money maybe? But it's a short lived solution. Who would return?

It seems that I hear less of these stories these days. Maybe it's because Backpage and Craigslist advertising is gone. Maybe it's the popularity of social media with all the selfies and visuals.

Backpage was good for travel adds, but it had more than it's share of sleaze.

HEY!!! I resemble that remark!!!

er, resent... I meant resent... Where the hell is the backspace button on a phone?

I think this is a great topic because as a client you should actually think through what you will do in different situations before they occur. To me it depends on how egregious the misrepresentation is.

If it is just the pics are older and she has aged or has gained weight, I would probably go on with the session since I generally do research and the things that get me to book go beyond looks.

If the misrepresentation is that she stole someone else's pics and rep and tricked me into showing up or that "She" was actually a man (which is extremely different from a Domme who openly advertises as a TS), then I would GTFO as soon as I could... using whatever I felt was necessary to get out of that situation since I have no idea how much danger I could actually be in.