Magic Moments & Boundaries

Have you ever had one of those "Aha" moments in which you try something you never thought you'd enjoy and, end up having a blast? One of mine was strap on. For years, it was on my hard limit list. Having grown up in the Southern Baptist world, it was just too taboo for me. Then, one day I was doing a photo shoot with a friend and, she encouraged me to at least try one on. That was it. In a minute, I fell in love with being able to have all of the attitude and, clout that goes with having a giant penis but, the ability to take it off when playtime was over. That was fun day.

A trumpet should be playing
An audience should be wildly applauding
It is a magic moment when Mistress Cheyenne arrives in any bdsm chat room. Thanks for being here. With or without Your strap on device, YOU have all the clout in the world to talk about the subjects that interest this audience. Welcome and bravo. d

Hi Cheyenne:

Good to find you posting here, and wonderful to hear a dominant woman express her sincere love for strap-on play. I discovered strap-on long before I ever had a pro session, with my high school girlfriend in fact. She was very precocious and I was curious but a little bit afraid. I remember wondering if it would hurt. It did a little at first, but I soon discovered it was also incredibly pleasurable. That was an aha moment that happened when I was a teenager and has continued to thrill me ever since.

High school? Wow! That is adventurous, especially for a female. For me, it is like a rich dessert. It was something that Jack and, I did once in a blue moon and, loved it. We'd make a big event of it. Every day and, it wouldn't have been quite as fun. What is that saying..."Special means sometimes." How is it with you?

Hi Don! Thank you for your kind words. Nice to see you here too. :-)

She was extremely kinky. I was very lucky. We went our separate ways in college, and she entered the NYC lifestyle scene. She later told me she was concerned she had scared me out of my BDSM interests when she didn't find me there....as if! I wasn't even aware a lifestyle scene existed back then and was still dating vanilla women trying to convince them to top me...



Yes, I definitely agree. I used to think I wanted this 24/7, but now I'm not so sure. Even if such a thing were possible to achieve in my life, the truth is anything when done every day can become boring and routine. Precious few couples can really handle a 24/7 arrangement. It's too restrictive. There are other parts of us that must be expressed and explored. Play should always feel special. Doing it every once in a while makes it more meaningful and significant, which reinforces the romantic bond between partners in a lifestyle relationship. As far as pro sessions are concerned, I couldn't do those every day either. For one thing, I'd go broke!

Being spat on and being forced to worship feet.
I didn't think I would like being spat on, and when my mistress originally spat on me I thought it was gross, but after the session I started to appreciate how humiliating that felt.
And I've only been told to worship feet once. I've never felt a disgust for feet or anything, I just felt nothing and never understood the fetish. But for some reason I got really aroused when a mistress had me lay down and shoved her bare feet on my face and made me kiss and smell them, it was unexpected as hell for me.

Do you think this has more to do with spit and, feet or, the woman you were with? Some times I find the chemistry between play partners far outweighs the actual activities.

Hi Cheyenne,

My AHA moments are related to people not to activities. My first was when I met a very special mistress, now retired and who does not want publicity, so I won't say her name.

I have been doing all kind of variations of beatdowns for years, it was interesting but not much more than that. I remember one done with a pretty competent karateka, and another mistress filming it asking me why I was not more excited, and me thinking I am taking a beating here, what do you want me to be excited about?

However once I did it with this mistress it was so much fun that I never wanted it to end, and I learned how to do it the right way.

I introduced it to other mistresses skeptical at first, and it was always exciting, dynamic, and a source of laughter and much fun.

Hi Komodo,

Can you explain what "the right way" was for you? What made it different/better? Was it a difference in pace, goal, mindset, etc?

Thanks.

Getting a GS for the first time by a gorgeous Amazonian fitness trainer / domina, now retired, about a decade ago. We sessioned in a hotel in her city and at mid session she ordered me into the bathroom where she ordered me to lie on the tile floor while she relieved herself on my chest and groin. It was intimate and highly arousing. She ordered me to, “clean this up, shower off and get back inside immediately,” and I hurriedly did.

I told this to a longtime domina / friend of mine I have seen off and on for years. At the end of a session in her apartment a couple of years ago the “Amazon Queen” (it was role play) ordered her “Tarzan” onto the bathroom floor. The Queen ordered me to pleasure myself and at the perfect moment she crouched down, completely nude, and sprayed my genitalia and chest (and a few drops for my mouth) as I erupted. She stood up and laughed with delight, and accomplishment. It was one of the most satisfying orgasms I’ve ever had.

Decades ago if you told me I’d like GS I’d say you were nuts. But, as life goes on, you never know!

Mistress Natasha, a competitor to Mistress Belle, when Belle du Jour was the number 1 bdsm parlor in NYC, insisted on providing Her golden to everyone who came for a scene in Her w.75th Street Brownstone basement dungeon. She would be drinking enormous amounts of Green Tea all day, in order to make recycling easy for Her. She too did it as you describe, crouching down, completely nude, and positioned right above the mouth bowl. She rarely missed. All the drops had to be swallowed. She was my "aha" moment 40 years ago.

Now that you mention it, it probably largely did have to do with my chemistry with the mistress I was sessioning with at the time, I probably would have felt nothing/been more grossed out by either activity if it had been with a partner I had no chemistry with.

While chemistry reigns there were differences of style too. Rather than the sitting duck strong arm tactic or passive canvas active player motive this was a much more dynamic scenario with two players. Basically I was being hunted but I could run, feint, move it was a whole lot more interactive.

I was so involved in play that the impact was secondary. While I had marks that lasted ten days all I could remember was a kind and gentle mistress.

It was interesting to be romantically involved with and, then married to a man in the scene for so long. It gave me an opportunity to see FemDom from the other side. While we had a traditional home life, he loved to play from time to time...and, for intense play, I'd send him to see Michelle Lacy. Some things just don't fit into, "Who's picking up the kids today" kind of life.

One of the things he was into that I could not relate to and, actually made him promise to stop was beat downs. He filmed with SheFights before we started dating and, ended up with a concussion. All play has risk....just like many things in life. But, I worry about someone getting kicked in the head. There are ways to do ball busting that minimize risk while still being intense. But, how can someone hit someone in the head and, be safe about it? Maybe there is a way and, I just have no experience with it. My late husband loved the thought of an attractive and, skilled woman beating him up. But, more than anything, he just liked attractive women. It came down to chemistry above all else with him. Sounds like you come from the same school of thought.

Gosh, I've missed that old pervert.

Nothing like the element of surprise. ;-)

Well put. I've enjoyed GS when I never thought I would. It has come down to the chemistry more than the actual act.

Hi all my first post here. So I ave been serving Mistress Renee of Philadelphia got over 25 years. When I first started seeing her I just loved to worship her feet. After a few sessions she advised that I would have to earn the honor of worshiping her feet. AI first things like bondage nipple torture and flogging occurred so I endured that because I know her feet were the prize. I had become a happy slave. One day as I arrived and knelt before her she asked if I wanted to make out with her feet I smiled and said yes Mistress. She then proceeded to piss in a glass handed it to me and said drink it if you want to worship my feet. I was shocked and thought she was kidding. After a few seconds I glanced at her feet and thought what the heck and drank it all. I was hooked and loved it ever since Mistress piss was like a fine wine. After that first time we stopped using a glass . This is one of several aha moments in testing me.

Mistress, for me it was surprise and chemistry in both cases. With the fitness trainer / domina at a prior session months before she announced in mid session, “I have to relieve myself.” Aroused I had the guts to ask, “May I watch?” I was allowed to crawl on my hands and knees to observe. The Mistress knew my limits but I was in deep sub space for her. A few weeks before my first GS I asked for one but she said, “You’ll be too squirrelly,” and dismissed my request. She knew me and my role play, believed in anticipation so I thought that was that, hence my erotic surprise.

The same with my long time Mistress. We did plenty of sessions, some in public, her apartment, hotels, dungeons, doing a lot of stuff, but nothing that intimate. She knew the prior Mistress was retired and based across country but I think it was a competitive thing, so again I was surprised.

This is not really an a-ha moment, but....

I remember reading a post on MF a long time ago on financial domination and finding the whole idea repellent and crossing so many boundaries. I think I posted a reply joining in on the condemnation. Well, over the years, I've dabbled a bit -- increasing only as my financial ability has able to withstand it has grown. And increasing as maybe my ability to take pain on the physical side has gone down. (All of the online/phone play has been with one person who I communicate well with.) A while ago I did a very intense multi-day scene online and on phone that involved, among other things, heavier financial than I had done before. It was probably the most intense SM I have ever done, and a lot of boundaries were crossed (not just regarding money -- more like psychological/emotional SM). So I guess I'm surprised by that turn of events.

I am very sorry for your loss. I think that being with persons you like and like you is something to look for in life and in sessions. In what regards me, while I might bear some less visible marks I never could afford visible marks on my face.

You don't have to include kicks to the head in a beatdown. In general kicks need a little more staging because they are more difficult to control and they require more effort. This is the only part of a beatdown where I stand still.

I would say dildo play which quickly morphed into strapon which is now my favorite activity but back when I started sessioning I wanted no part of. I don’t remember why but I think I was scared of injury but maybe it was other things. I just know I didn’t want it. The session it happened was one of my first sessions with a Domme whom I’d seen once before. I was horrible at communicating back then probably 35 years ago. We were in a seedy motel room about 10 minutes into the session. I was lying on the floor on my stomach worshipping her feet. She asked me what I wanted to do and I didn’t really know what to say so she says how about some dildo play. I said no but not in a very convincing or definitive way and the next thing I know she is over me me shoving a dildo down my ass. I was kind of freaked out and started to crawl away and came on the carpet from the friction thus ending the hour session about 15 minutes into it. I hurriedly got dressed and left upset but at some point soon after that incident took hold of me and all I could think about was being strapon fucked in the ass.

It is so funny how those things go. One of my long time clients and, to this day, best friends and, I did a 2 hour session every week. Some times, we'd do entire weekends. We moved through so many comfort zones. I tease him that the chemistry between us turned him into flat out freak. He is in a serious relationship with a non professional now. They have so much fun. Our experience taught him to explore. I never know what story he is going to call me with next. lol.

For good and decent adults exploring their sexuality with bdsm, it can be a fantastic journey. In my experience, Mistress Cheyenne, many, or most, of the pros offering bdsm are
like YOU, exploring together with the clients, creating special opportunities for adventure.

A minority care mostly or only about the money and a tiny fraction (in my experience) have an anti-male and bigoted bias
making it most important to "get out of there" safely.

I was a married man and a graduate student tutoring a undergraduate young lady, about 21 years old. She was very flirty and one thing led to another and our relationship veered from tutor-student to romantic partners. I was about 10 years Her senior and so I felt guilty. Then, She explained that She was a part time bdsm Mistress at Belle du Jour in NYC. She passed Her courses and out of my tutoring life. But, the next year I decided to look into Belle's. The first session there was boring. But, when I returned about one year later, I met a Mistress Vanessa, a dark haired New Jersey housewife and a devil of a temptress Mistress. She started using dildos with me and threatening constantly to take it further. I must have sessioned with Her for 5 years before She got close to bringing me beyond the point of no return, and She ended up succeeding in making me into putty for the next Lady in my bdsm life. Many "aha" moments along the road to becoming a well trained sub slut.

Hi Cheyenne!


I have had many moments like this, but I must say that I was most surprised by a session where Mistress Wynter invited me to do some needle play with her on one of her slaves. Learning to do that was a real revelation for me, and one of my slaves loved it so much that we began electrifying the needles. Fun stuff.

xoxo.


V

Lady Cheyenne, Did your late beloved husband go under the name Pantyboy?

Many moons ago when I first went Pro, I had no interest in administering enemas. I just didn't want to be involved in someone else's poop. I had a client who disclosed to me his interest in receiving them and talked with great glee about all of the accoutrements he acquired, the various bags, nozzles, soaps he liked best. Since we already had a great session relationship, I told him I'd give it a shot. The positioning, ritual of filling the bag, controlling the flow, controlling the amount filling him up, the time he had to hold it, and making him release under my supervision was wildly heady. The power I felt controlling his most base body function got me hooked.

For all of those reasons plus the emptiness which results, a well administered bdsm enema can be a breaking moment in any sub's life. you return from the rest room fully showered and powdered and She says: "now you are ready to really be used by ME. I think I will start with a gentle pegging before I decide if you can handle the big leagues."

Ms. Julia Steele, I would guess you are one of those Ladies who accelerates big league treatments for Her sub sluts who crave it or need it even if they do not know it. d

Hi stash,
This recounting brings back my quite similar fond memory!

In the midst of my third or fourth session with Renee in the Y2K era, when she had me as wound up as I thought possible, she offered 'to the effect': "Soon, I'm going to have you drinking my pee".
All I could offer in response was a 'to the effect': "Yeah right, there's no way"!

A couple of weeks later she showed me 'the way'...

Ted

Over a long affiliation with bdsm, I've had a few. One that stands out was when I first found being a sissy maid.

In my case, I didn't even really know it was a thing, but I was in a crossdressing store in MA (it's still there!) because I had a fascination with high heels. I ordered a couple of pairs off the internet, but they never fit right, so when I found that I was close to this store, I went in and browsed the man-sized high heels. While waiting for the counter person to help me, I just looked around. Somehow, the french maid's dress just found me. It saw me, and we pair bonded instantly. I had to have it.

Later, I went to a femdom party in NYC and decided to wear the dress and some other stuff I got to complete the outfit. I had an absolute blast, and have loved the dress and being a sissy maid ever since.

It's not the only thing I do, by far, but it's fun whenever I can do it in a fun party situation, or for service.

That is awesome! :-)

I can relate to that. I used to do that with water with one of my clients. For whatever reason, the control of knowing he really had to pee and, had to wait while I tickled him was such a kick.

Electrifying needles...wow...that sounds like fun.

No. I dated someone who went by the name of Pantyboy about 20 years ago. Such a great guy. We stayed friends over the years. He passed too about 5 years ago. My late husband went by Thumper and, Scotoma. Sometimes, he would use his real name, which was Jack. He spent a good amount of time in NYC and, especially loved Rapture in it's day. He went to the OWK and, pretty much anywhere that there was some fun going on. At home, he was very traditional...but, get him around a hot dom in a pair of boots and, it was on. lol. Miss him so much.

Mistress,
i’ve been following You for years online and was lucky to session once. You really should write a book!!.....autobiography.....I’m sure you’ve been told before!!

Cheyenne,

Several times now you have been gracious and comfortable enough to share anecdotes regarding your late husband and you shared BDSM experiences. While it is always enjoyable to read those posts for the BDSM content alone, what strikes me most is the wonderful relationship you shared while creating memories that will be with you always. The warmth with which you talk about your Jack and those experiences is a gift to us all.

Thanks for sharing those very memorable experiences with all of us.

"Another" Jack

Thank you. When I was in Ohio, a published authored tried really hard to get me to write a book with him. At the end of the day, it just wouldn't be fair to my family. Maybe wanting to share and, exchange with people in the scene who want to do the same is a good alternative.

Thank you so much for saying that. It was a once in a life time. How many times does someone get all of the blue moon, anything goes FemDom fun and, traditional values at home?

I am getting married in February, in Costa Rica. Michelle Lacy and, about 20 of our friends are coming from the states....and, about 20 local friends. It is such a big step. I never thought I'd even date again. My fiance is such a vanilla guy...well, at least for the moment. LOL. So, Jack has been on my mind a lot, as I am in Costa Rica planning the wedding. I wish there was a way I could have Jack's blessing. Some times, we just have to appreciate the amazing times we have had, live in the moment and, move on. At least, that is what I tell myself.

Congratulations on the upcoming nuptials, I think he is a very lucky guy.

Just from the little you have described him, I am sure your Jack would want you to live your best life and to be happy in all you do. In that sense, perhaps you can accept that you do indeed have his blessing.

Sounds like it's going to be a helluva great wedding reception!

Another Jack

Hi. I spent my last few nights reading old MF posts, and I remember reading posts of his, under both names. I had no idea he was your husband. Since there were many exchanges with Rapture mistresses I thought he was somebody from New York.

Congratulations for your new marriage! You are young and why not have a vanilla husband? You have better chances for a long and happy marriage if you keep him away away from SheFights type of girls!

Thanks. So, funny, where I am staying in Costa Rica, there is a woman about my age that I've really hit it off with. She is so funny. She is bossy, controlling and, powerful. Last night, I told her about my websites. She got a good laugh. She is such a dominatrix at heart that it cracks me up.

Congratulations Cheyenne, happy to hear for you.

First time I saw this Domme right when you walk in there is a make-shift gloryhole. Being a smart asshole I comment that is not for me.
At the end of my 2nd session with her she told me my next visit would require me on my knees at the gloryhole. I left there thinking, “damn, I am not going to see her again”.
I did about 5 more times.

She must have known how to read you. That is a big step to insist on. Glad you enjoyed it. :-)

Probably. It’s what floated her boat and I enjoy doing what a Domme loves. Scat is a no go however.
Next goal is a fist. Looking for a tiny Domme with small hands. I travel a bit and look everywhere I go for a Domme that is tiny. Lol

Cybill Troy is small and does it. I think She based out of LA now.

Oddly enough I will be in LA in September. Wonder if I can afford her because she has become pretty popular.

My "aha" moment when I wore high heels for the first time. But it wasn't in a session though, it just was for a BDSM artistic photoshoot.

I would have never guessed it could feel so good. I felt special. Couldn't say more!

I think she spends her time mostly in UK now.

One more thing. Probably it is a good idea to ask for the recommendations to be done by PM. I won't do it because I think you are in the Western part of the US and travelling to the Eastern Seaboard might be a bridge too far.