Social media, politics and Dommes

I am curious to hear the opinion of subs that follow Dommes on social media. Do you want to know a Domme's political stance or not?

Due to the polarizing effects of politics I am careful to keep my political opinions out of my Domme business. I have my own opinions about celebrities/entertainers weighing in on political issues but I want to know your opinion. As a potential submissve to a Mistress, do you want to know her political opinions or do you want to keep that a mystery? Does it enhance the session if you know you are on the same page? Does it keep you from seeing a potential Domme if you are not?

** Note to the mods: I don't really consider this to be a political thread and I don't want it to turn into one, but if I should have put this in off topic, just let me know and I will move it. **

Hi Mistress Ayn. In this era of extreme partisanship, it's hard for politics not to creep into domme-sub relations. In following a number of dominas on twitter, I note that the subject of Fosta/Sesta comes up a lot. SW rights and legalization are also a major topic of concern. I have no problem with these dominas expressing their political opinions, especially since many of their opinions directly affect the viability of their continuing to practice their trade.

For the most part, I don't want to know. Pretty much everywhere in the sex industry, it's a fact that the women often have different -- sometimes vastly different -- political views than men wealthy enough to afford their services. At best, expressing those views -- especially if done the wrong way -- are neutral; at worst, many may move on. If that tradeoff is fine for you, for example you only want clients with the same views as you, it's understandable. But if you're trying to keep a diverse group of clients ... well, I'll just say my doctor, CMT, accountant, and other provider of cherished services, do not advertise their politics to me.

I think the exceptions are in areas we all are, or should be, aligned on: sex workers' rights, the legal status of sex work, the impact of things like FOSTA/SESTA on our joint interests, etc. This is a clear political area where I imagine most of us have common cause.

Hello Zingish.

Thanks for joining in and adding your comments. Politics that directly influence our industry, like SESTA/FOSTA are naturally going to be discussed and are not in themselves divisive. I was talking about references to more partisan issues and views. You know, the political stuff that tends to trend on Twitter as an example. I'm just wondering how you (and other subs or potential clients) feel when you read those kinds of comments and opinions from Dommes you follow. Does it make you want to see a Domme more, or less, or does is simply not matter?

Well put, swordfish. Thanks for sharing.

I'm of the opinion that it really doesn't matter. I sessioned with a prominent Domina last summer who is known for political views that are diametrically opposed to mine. The session was wonderful, and thankfully, nothing in our conversation took on a political slant.

It isn't information that I seek out.

It doesn't make a difference to me if a prodomme's politics matches my own..

If her politics do not match my own, I will choose someone else.

That never used to be the case.

It is just that the current American presidential administration has done so many hateful things any association with them would just be a strong turn off to me.


No disrespect to anyone. I'm just answering a question honestly.

Please refrain from disparaging Mistresses. The only reason I did not remove your post is because you did not mention specific persons.

Domina.ms Admin

Social media has been linked to alzheimer's disease, degenerative brain disease, traumatic brain injury and may cause an overall lack of interest in Dommes. The truth is no one who wants to submit to a dominant Mistress needs to know how stupid, hateful and opinionated she is!!!

Interesting question, and something that I have experienced in researching potential Domme partners.

I would prefer that Dommes not express their political opinions and beliefs, although I certainly acknowledge their right to do so. A few have expressed those beliefs using pretty strong language directed at those who do not share their those same beliefs. That's by no means limited to Dommes, as our political discourse has devolved into a stream of insults and name calling from each side to the other.

I would prefer my BDSM play to be a reprieve from that kind of nonsense.

Jack

That's kind of how I see it too, jack.

There are so many divisive issues out there that I try to just avoid them if possible. I think sometimes ProDommes "drink too much of their won Koolaid" and wrongly believe clients will continue to see them even if they say things that are offensive to them. I've always suspected that was not the case and that they lose clents this way. I know I have boycotted movies because I felt the "talent" had in some way offended my belief system. I would imagine prospective clients to ProDommes would be no different.

I can see how others might feel differently, but personally, I enjoy learning about the political beliefs of the Dommes I see. I value a personal connection, and to understand someone's politics is to understand a part of who they are and how they think. I don't have to have identical politics as a Domme, but if I find a particular belief ethically dubious, it would affect my choice of continuing to see her. For example, I wouldn't want to see a Domme who is racist.

You can't choose your family, so I have to deal with my racist uncle Wilbur. But, thankfully I can choose my friends and I can choose my Dommes. Politics is just one part of that decision.

I want no reference to political leanings. Even not involving Dommes, there is too much anger and partisanship out there ruining friendships. I wish it was less in the world overall, but definitely want none of it in my escape from the real world.

There's an extent to which I agree with this, tabula. As I get to know a domme, our relationship will turn more personal, and we might explore many topics as we get to know each other -- everything from favorite comedies, to religion or politics. But the original question is about what she puts on social media. Politics or religion or how she feels about capital punishment or any other number of heavy topics may be totally appropriate, as a private discussion. It's when it's part of her social media, and marketing outreach, where I find it unwelcome.

Swordfish, sorry you find information on social media about a Domme's political opinions to be unwelcome. I value a Domme's decision to (often bravely) share her opinions and speak up for things she believes in any forum, social media or otherwise. Often they can be marginalized in our puritanical society. Sharing on social media can help them feel supported by others in their profession and those who seek to be their allies. It can provide a sense of community and acceptance. Don't we want our Dommes to feel seen and supported, so they can exude the strength and confidence we love to see them express?

But I also feel like I often learn something from the political expressions of Dommes. I would know almost nothing about FOSTA/SESTA with out them. I wouldn't understand how Dommes and other SWs are discriminated against at banks and how cashless businesses present real problems for them. I want to know about how there lives are affected by our politician's decisions so that I can know how best to support them.

My dentist is not a cavity-filling machine, just like my Domme is not a fetish dispensing machine. These wonderful women are not just Dommes, they are multi-faceted human beings just like everyone else.

Your dentist -- and your lawyer, and your doctor -- are a perfect example. Chances are, one or more of them have social media, web pages, other outreach. If your dentist is like mine, that media is absolutely devoid of political content (go look -- I'm sure it's true) ... except, perhaps, something that we might seek common cause for, like some bill that regulates fluoride or whatever. To me, that's what business outreach should look like. I actually do know about my cardiologist's political views, in detail -- we needle each other over politics all the time, in private, in the office. But he recognizes that patients coming to his webpage or whatever to seek his services probably shouldn't be subjected to his political views -- his marketing outreach across various media is professional.



You're saying that as if you're teaching me something I don't know. My dentist and my doctor are multi-faceted human beings just like everyone else also. They've made the smart decision not to bombard patients with their political views on social media. In fact, none of my cherished providers of services, from my doctor to my CMT to my plumber, post about their political views on their social media. Why are dommes different than everyone else? Should they be subject to lower standards for some reason?

Anyway, I respect your alternative view that you welcome domme political views, not trying to invalidate your feelings or be argumentative; I just disagree, and don't see why dommes shouldn't follow the high standards of other skilled providers of services. Political views for which we should all have common cause -- FOSTA/SESTA, in the case of pro dommes -- being the common exception.

Swordfish, much respect for your willingness to discuss the question. I understand we're unlikely to come to agreement and that's ok.

Why are Dommes different from dentists, lawyers and doctors? As I mentioned, the former are marginalized by society while the latter are not. For me, that in itself is enough to justify them using social media to organize and mobilize around political issues (not that any justification is needed). Also, it seems like there is so much political apathy lately. Quite frankly, it's just nice to see political passion and engagement from this younger generation. It gives me hope.

I have no issue with dommes posting on their professional social media pages about stuff like Sex worker rights and stuff like that, but it's when they start plastering political opinions outside of that, that i'm not a big fan of.
Unless I strongly disagree with sentiments they express though it probably won't stop me from sessioning with one I intend on seeing.

I suppose BDSM experiences provide many different outcomes for the people who seriously engage in it. For me, the BDSM experience has always been one that is powerfully cathartic and absolutely joyful.

I think the key to that outcome is to a great extent dependent on having the most positive connection possible with the Domme you are serving. So in my case, anything that detracts from that connection, such as an overly aggressive and intolerant expression of their political preferences simply detracts from the power of that connection. If I don't feel that connection, as I did with you, then it makes it unlikely that I will want to session with that Domme.

I certainly respect the right of anyone to express their political preferences in whatever language they choose, but I agree with you that there is a good chance that it could cost them some clients. I also believe that some Dommes who feel that strongly don't care if they lose clients, and that is of course their decision as well.

I don't think political views have anything to do with my sessions, so I keep them off my social media, except SESTA/FOSTA. This does directly affect my practice.

Not only do I think politics should be private, but also, my opinions change as I have more information. No need to keep track of this. I'll do it on my own.

I think political talk can only harm. A fellow domme here aligned herself with the Gilets Jaunes early in the movement and completely alienated her base.

I agree with you Domina M. I know everyone has their own opinion about politics and how they feel and how they vote is their right. But sometimes I read things that mistresses say on line and it effects how i feel about them and that's not what i want to have happen right especially right before a session. I follow you on twitter and I respect that you don't do this.

Overall I'd prefer that politics be left out of the equation as we get enough of it crammed in every orifice from the media almost 24/7 anymore (and it's not as fun as a Mistress cramming things in them). I certainly understand the professionals discussing issues that directly affect them professionally. What I don't understand is why so many people (used to see it on the Hang) come to a BDSM site and rant, argue and attack people over politics. Set up a politics board of your own and invite people there if you must spend lots of time ranting about things like that.

I've also found that some people on opposite ends of the spectrum can have rational and intelligent discussions about politics. Others fly off the handle and go into attack mode over everything and frequently know very little about what they are saying.

In the end, to me it's probably best if a Mistress sticks to professional things to minimize the risk of people avoiding her or get herself attacked, either literally or verbally. I wouldn't do so, but would just avoid someone whose stances became a turn off.

Yes, yes and um yes!

I really prefer not to mix politics into my femdom experiences. I do see dommes who I disagree with, but too think of as a refuge away from politics and so much else in life.

Actually a Domme I wanted to session with had political views that were the opposite of mine and I did not contact her.

This is a GREAT question, Mistress Ayn, and i am not saying that because You are my Alpha Mistress. In my decades of experience serving Mistresses, i found that my liberal views are more aligned with my Mistress's but that is only discovered when the relationship progresses beyond the time in a session. Yes, it could create another level of bonding between a Mistress and a slave but, as you point out,it can be divisive. Just a thought (fantasy), i am unsure if other subs are willing to be punished for their political views, perhaps an interesting kink, and a powerful Mistress could do this without exploring if there are differences between Her views and the subs. Is a sub willing to take the cane or whip in professing his/her political views? No answer to Your question for You, Mistress Ayn, but a GREAT conversation starter.