Tribute Etiquette

I can’t speak for all Dommes but this is how I like to receive My tribute.

How to present your tribute:

Have it ready – counting out your tribute in front of Me is uncouth. Whether intended or not, I see it as a passive aggressive move to remind Me that you are paying and therefore in control. It’s not the best way to start your session.

Have it in a plain, unsealed envelope. Even if you have been seeing Me for years, I may count the tribute in private before we start. Especially if it’s a double or the tribute deviates from our norm. I prefer not to have to rip the envelope open to do this check.

Don’t write anything on the envelope. I would prefer not to have a bunch of envelopes with “Mistress Ayn” floating around out there – either in your pocket or the trash. We all know who it is for.

Just lay it down within eyesight upon entry. Don’t hand it to Me. Most of Us were taught not to touch the tribute. It’s a legal thing and I don’t know if it holds water or not, but I have always done it this way and it just feels better to Me. Somehow it’s less transactional and starts everything off right.

If in doubt, ask. It is your first live interaction with a Mistress, so get it right and start things off positively.

I better understand why most of the dominatrixes I meet seem to be reluctant when I hand the tribute to them at the beginning of the session, which I found very strange before.
Sting operations are totally prohibited in my country but, of course, they aren't supposed to know the law of each country they visit.

In regards to the tribute, I have always wondered about this: do you prefer small-denomination notes (20 or less) or larger-denomination notes (50 or more)?
This may seem like a tiny detail but makes a significant difference with tributes of 300-400, and even more for the dominatrix who may get several tributes like this during a limited period of time. I mainly meet traveling dominatrixes and I always thought it was safer for them to carry small-denomination notes because they may dispose of them more discreetly and justify their presence more easily if asked (by customs officers for example). On the other hand, larger-denomination notes are obviously easier to carry, to stock and to count.
I do not know what others subs are doing?

Hello carter. What country are you from? I wish more people would add the location information to their profile. Without this clue in your question I would have assumed you were from the States.

Good question about denominations. I prefer big bills - especially when traveling. In the States our biggest bill is $100. Carrying around a brick of 20s is a pain ;-) - and sometimes that happens - when everyone comes with 20s. Ugh. If were were talking about Euros that's a different animal and would probably want mid sized notes, again $100.

Hello Mistress Ayn, I'm from France. I deliberately didn't specify the currency because the exchange rate isn't so important between euros, US dollars and pounds sterling (50€ = $55 = £43) therefore I assume that this question remains the same in the 3 areas, but yes I was asking myself that question about euros.
Anyway, thank you for your quick reply.

The legal aspect is part of it from the US, but also I find it tacky. By the time you are in my dungeon I should hope we have a level of trust, and it is also nice not to focus on the monetary part. Also, there have been some cases when someone arrives and I can see that it is really not going to work out. (I promise I am not speaking in code and will not liberate my taboos when you arrive.) It is all the easier to shake hands and part ways. I have no desire to scrape a tribute in exchange of ruining everyone's day.

The denomination is the least of my worries. I will laugh at you if you pay in crumpled 5's and coins or a 500 can be problematic, but these are not real problems.

Only a serious maso would pay in coins because just about any Domme worth seeing would definitely use them against you in an incredibly painful way (I am thinking anything from very heavy nipple/ball weights to subbie target practice with a homemade slingshot at the very least).

Put the coins over your eyes so you can't see who is torturing you?

I DO have a fantasy of only seeing those who can pay me in Krugerrands and making my own pile of gold, Dragon Hoard style. . . But that being a bit far fetched, I am fine with whatever pays the bills to keep the dungeon lights on.

Mmmm... My new fantasy session now includes placing a bag with 10 grams of gold onto the table as I enter, being ordered to strip as you as you seductively move around the dungeon in your tight corset, high heeled pumps and knee length latex pencil skirt to get out your jewelry scale and weights before being tied up and made to watch you testing and measuring the gold to insure the payment is correct, with my balls literally on the line.

Hahaha. Now we are talking!

Now you have given me a new fantasy!

Wow I’d be in with you at least as far as tribute etiquette goes. That’s exactly the way I do it although I think it took me awhile to get it exactly right. There have been times we’ve both forgotten about the tribute and I almost walked out without leaving it.

I've had that happen a time or two as well. And I used to be notorious for leaving My tribute at the Dungeon stuck under something. About a month ago I found an envelope in one of My usual hiding places. It was like Christmas!

I've actually left and had to come back... She didn't even realize and was wondering why I was texting her about coming back up after I had left so you shouldn't feel bad about it (actually it puts you in a class with me, so maybe you should feel bad about it :p)

It's nice of you to give us your trust as easily, but I'm not certain that this optimism is shared by many other dominatrixes.
When I meet one of them, I'm used to give the tribute at the beginning because I want to reassure her about me and win her trust right away so that we both enjoy the session (I already heard stories about men deliberately leaving the session without paying), because I want us to get away from the monetary part as soon as possible, and because I myself don't trust my own memory : it already happened that one of her had to catch me when I was leaving after the session because I forgot to give her the tribute, which was extremely embarrassing.

In regards to the coins, it already happened to me that I prepare my session tribute the day before the session and found only 290€ in cash when it must have been 300€. Then I have been very tempted to have a look at the 20 cents, 50 cents and 1€ coins that I usually save to buy bread or coffee. There was enough coins to reach 10€, but I have nevertheless preferred to withdraw more bank notes at the ATM. (By doing so, I guess I probably robbed her of a good laugh.)
I have also already been tempted to complete a tribute with luncheon vouchers but I'm not sure she would have appreciated it.

Trust is very important to me. I do expect a client to speak with me as a person, not as a slave, not as someone who is my "boss" because they are paying, but as a person. Most people don't even it past this "hurtle." Then they are whittled away to only the best. I have had 3 or 4 people short me in 22 years, so my odds are pretty good.

I have seen some slaves here immediately get naked and run around on all fours with the tribute in their mouths. I am sure that was amusing to some mistress in the past, but not my style AT ALL.

I know that feeling of finding money you’ve forgotten about. I immediately think session money.

Believe me I wish I was in a class with you as far as ability to session goes. I’m amazed you can do all that.