I have a Domme crush on my gorgeous Sister-in-law. She is a stunning blonde, totally spoiled and pampered, who I have watched order her husband around for many years. I would never tell anyone, or act on it in any way. One time though, at a party a couple of years ago, She did ask me to get Her something from the food table. I complied, of course, and when I brought it to Her, She was engaged in a conversation with Her friend. I handed Her the plate and She totally ignored me, just took the plate and continued Her conversation. I stood for a second and then walked away, totally turned on.

She would make an amazing Domme. Lately I find myself thinking more and more about what it would be like to submit to Her. Just drop to my knees in front of Her and kiss Her gorgeous tanned feet. It's just fantasy of course. But if I can find a Domme that looks like Her, probably great potential for a role play. How common is role play based off a real life relationship with a relative or close friend?

For me, and maybe many others, that type of role-play would be in the very "deep end of the pool." I've done plenty of role-play, a few public things, but going down the road to fantasize about an in-law, a friend's wife, a co-worker, etc. and acting on it with a Mistress who looks like the person would be emotionally damaging for some, probably me too. That's why I always resisted suggestions as a young man to do a "stepmother fantasy" with an older Mistress. Just too much emotional baggage. But if you think you can handle it, why not?

I imagine it's common. AGree with junglebeast that I'm sure this is a very personal thing.

For myself, I've found the best policy is not to indulge fantasies about relatives, etc. No judgement either way, it's just the safest route for myself, no sexualizing relatives, in-laws, my daughter's attractive over-18 female friends, etc.

I'm sure we've all had crushes on people we know we shouldn't. But, by seeking out a Domme that looks like her so you can role play what it would be like to submit to her seems an unlikely way to move past this fixation. Instead, it may lead to a reinforcement that could turn into obsession.

Second, in my not so limited experience, there is not much of a correlation between a woman's behavior in the public sphere and their predilection for the D-side of DS. Women who act "spoiled and pampered" (as you put it) or seem to exhibit more stereotypical Domme traits (e.g. assertiveness, condescension, superiority, commanding nature) in the public sphere may or may not have an interest in BDSM in their private lives. In my experience, fantastic Dommes are just as likely to be fun-loving, kind and considerate in their day-to-day interactions outside a scene or life-style relationship as they are to exhibit those stereotypical traits.

For example, in high school (eons ago) I sought out and dated the most controlling and prone to anger woman I could find. After dating for a while and during an intimate setting I worked up the courage to ask her to dominate me. She had absolutely no interest and she commanded me to be normal. It was mortifying, lol. Strangely, we did stay together for a while.

My point is that it's easy to project your desires onto someone you're attracted to.

My advice would actually be to find a fantastic Domme who looks nothing like this woman. Develop a strong Ds connection with her based on her own merits so that you can get over your crush and not risking making a family situation weird.

Best of luck.

Great advice, Tabula. I like you! That's good stuff.

Celeste

Brilliant advice. This is exactly why we are here.

Thanks for the thoughtful reply. In re-reading my post I can see where maybe it came across as though I was fixated or obsessed. Definitely not the case, it's really just one of numerous fantasies that go through my head on a daily basis. In any case, I don't get to session that much anymore so this fantasy will have to take a number behind a few others, lol. Thanks again for your thoughts.

Thanks Celeste, Domina M and beta male for the positive comments. I wish you all happiness and fulfillment.

Fantasies are the breakfast of champion bdsmers.