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#1642 - 07/15/16 08:15 PM New Boundaries - or how experience changes things
gls Offline
Occasional

Registered: 10/17/15
Posts: 36
i have been thinking lately about where i have been, where i am now and where i am headed in the service of my Mistress.

The beginning

The beginning of realizing that we are submissive and need/seek/want more has changed. For those of us who had the "thoughts and desires of submission" before the internet, it was different. Just finding a Dominatrix was next to impossible. Subs were reduced to buying expensive cellophane wrapped Dominatrix Directories that promised a world wide directory only to return home and find few, if any Mistresses even from one's own continent, let alone one's country, state or city.

The internet made, I would argue, the Lifestyle of D/S / BDSM discoverer-able and more mainstream -at least from an accessibility point of view.

Thirty years ago it was pure luck and happenstance that allowed subs/sluts/sissies to find and serve a Domme.

The sexual revolution of the 60's allowed all of us more freedom and then as same sex relationships moved out of the shadows that opend up people's minds to alternate lifestyles.

This continues today with the acceptance of trans-gendered individuals being more openly out in many larger cities.


How did this all change things?

It has been i feel a natural progression.

In the Business World Women today run large multinational companies, fill the Professional schools and are taking positions of power in everyday life.

So what we have now is a blurring of the lines, combined with an ever expanding access to seeing/hearing/reading about the D/s lifestyle.

In some ways we are desensitized by internet pornography but in many ways we have become more open because of watching it

Openness breaks down boundaries and moves everyone's line in the sand back further each year.

i believe that this happens in sessions as well especially when the sub and Domme develop a long term and trusting relationship.

For all the subs/sissies/sluts reading this i would be interested to hear how far your boundaries have moved with the same Mistress.

It would also be educational to understand how the Mistresses feel that their limits and activities in sessions have changed over time as their relationship with the submissive changes and matures.

i remember when i began my journey in service that all i wanted was nipple play and strap-on play. That was the limit and m line in the sand.

Reading and learning about the experiences of others has opened my eyes to so much more and being blessed with a wonderful long time Mistress has provided to me a journey of amazing discovery with an ever expanding list of experiences and desires.

As our fears are overcome we need to try new things to experience new activities and learn to give more of ourselves to our Mistress

Moving that line in the sand doesn't always take away all of the hard limits one has but it may force an expansion of one's willingness to experiment and experience new activities.

The more closely the sub becomes simpatico with the needs and wants of the Domme, the more likely the Domme will use the session to enter Domme Space and then the session moves to a far deeper and more open relationship. It also allows the Domme to gain in some cases long-term psychological ownership of the sub.

Sessions will likely change from the sub's wishlist to one where they truly give up control of their life and security to their Domme and trust becomes the only factor.

Session activities demand more and depending on the sub/Domme chemistry things move outside the sub's initial hard limit.

This may be more pain, it may be forced bi, toilet training or simply depriving the sub of all outside sensation but the sessions with move towards what the Domme wants to help them move into Dommespace. Things may happen that will please the sub but now the Domme gets to run the session to meet Her needs and the sub is just along for the ride.

Subs, being completely honest are you where you thought you would be in a session or are your sessions now always pushing things to new limits.

i kn ow this is a ramble and i will clean it up but i want to hear from others, as it will help me better understand myself (i hope).

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#1659 - 07/18/16 10:13 PM Re: New Boundaries - or how experience changes things [Re: gls]
junglepet Offline
Artisan

Registered: 10/27/15
Posts: 92
Over the years, especially in the past decade, I have experienced more activities that would have devistated the young man I was. Within reason (I am more vanilla than most but will not go into details) I have experienced plenty. I know who I am sexually - I love women and orgasms of all types and have enjoyed myself throughly. My attitude in any session now is that the Mistress has hired me for HER pleasure. I may have boundaries but within those I am there to pleasure Her. Does that make any sense?

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#1662 - 07/19/16 09:43 PM Re: New Boundaries - or how experience changes things [Re: gls]
gls Offline
Occasional

Registered: 10/17/15
Posts: 36
JP,

Very well said, what i experience now in session would turn a younger me into a quivering mess.

i think that over time sessions increase in some type or form of intensity if the sub develops a longer term relationship with one particular Mistress.the next time

In my case i know when i see the Dominatrix that i serve my only input to the session is agreeing with her on the duration of Our/our session. She knows my hard boundaries and uses the time We/we spend together to advance Our/our shared experience.

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