I, like most Dommes, ask every person I play with about any physical and mental health issues they may have. While people generally seem to be comfortable sharing their physical health issues, rarely do they disclose their mental ones. I know that some of them may be undiagnosed and so don't know what they're dealing with, but I'm sure some of them are aware and are withholding information.

For those that don't, can I ask you to please consider telling us? Knowing you might have PTSD or have BPD (either one) may help us be able to more appropriately plan for issues during or after session.

I had a client who did not disclose he suffered from Major Depressive Disorder. After not hearing from him for awhile after our scene, I checked up on him. I could tell something was wrong from the way he communicated. When I probed he confessed that after we pplayed he had a major sub drop and it sent him into a bad depression. Had I known this, I might have been able provide some aftercare to help mitigate the drop and avoid the episode. Sure, I might not have been able to help, but I could have at least tried.

Inversely, I had a client tell me he has Generalized Anxiety Disorder. To which I said, "OK, thanks for sharing that with me. So do I!" And so I was able to have a conversation with him about what triggers his anxiety and how he prefers to manage it. Then, when we had our scene, and I could tell his anxiety kicked in (he was rigid and physically shaking), I was able to do some things with him to help him come out of that headspace. (We were also able to have a nice conversation about it afterward where I checked in with him about how he was feeling now, if he had any concerns when he left, and also recommend some alternatives to prescription medication.)

So, please, let us know so we can best support you. Even if it's "I feel down sometimes" or "I get worked up/angry/panicky when X happens". We really appreciate knowing these things.

+1

Good point and topic, Mistress Tissa.

You are so on spot with this. Advance knowledge of these issues can help us more responsibly craft the scene and provide proper aftercare and follow up.

On my application I ask if there are any phobia or abuse issues. It's a simple question and non-judgemental. I have had pretty good luck getting people to share issues like having panic attacks and previous abuse. However, your topic is making think about rewriting this make it more "acceptable" to share.

I used to have issues with guys taking ED drugs and not fessing up until they passed out. Now I elaborate in the application why it's important to tell me and that it's okay to use them, I just have to be aware of it. I think compliance is now close to 100%. I might do something similar with the mental health part. Thanks for getting me thinking about this.

Although I think as a society we have made progress, there is still a stigma associated with mental illness. When filling out my app, I was specific about a physical limitation, but vague about mental. It makes SO much sense, however, why this information would be important to know. In the short time I have been sessioning, I have read a story or two about someone snapping in session.


I'm sure some issues could be avoided by knowing ahead of time. Hopefully we get to a point where giving this information is no big deal.

Unfortunately, snapping in a session doesn't have a direct correlation to mental health or diagnosed issues. IMO, It is a random thing that is very circumstantial and completely unpredictable. Those with known issues (even undisclosed ones) may even be less likely to snap because they are cognizant of their mental issues vs someone who is normally well-adjusted.

Very true. I have a sub who reminds Me each time I see him that certain sensations trigger rage in him. He knows this about himself and we have had no issues in session because he was able to communicate it to Me.

I have something very similar on Mine. I don't ask for specific diagnoses as the same mental illness can present very differently and create different problems in different people. I ask about "triggers, phobias, or emotional concerns" and if someone is a newbie, I make sure to warn them about subdrop and how it might make them feel before they leave the dungeon.

Bang your head
Metal health will drive you mad!

Excellent subject. A handful of Mistresses I've known over the years have told me that sometimes the strain of dealing with subs who have emotional issues (and physical triggers) eventually create the feeling of burnout with some dominas. Subs release or reveal their innermost feelings, needs, etc. and it can get to Mistresses, no matter their experience. The subs may feel some relief after the session, but it sometimes weighs on the Dominas involved.

Exactly. And I don't think most people consider how what they may be dealing with can affect how we construct our time with them.



That's a great way to get people thinking more carefully about what can influence what we choose to do with you and how we do it. The only potential issue I see with that is that sometimes people feel it's too personal to ask specifically an abuse history and the ways they were abused. They can feel cornered and it can trigger some people. So, I personally like to keep it focused on what I think is more useful to me: the state of their mind and emotions rather and not as much about what may have caused it.



That's a good one, too. I usually like to go through a list of common health experiences -- including mental -- if someone says they don't have any issues, because people do forget sometimes! I forget to ask about ED drugs. So, thanks for reminding me about that one!