There are so many aspects of D/s that motivate my involvement in this lifestyle: the exhilaration of surrender, giving myself to a Mistress, and pleasing Her. Every scene I've participated in has involved some permutation of those themes.

Yet, I've always been drawn to the therapeutic aspects of BDSM. The possibility of catharsis, letting go of stress and hurts, and the post-session feeling of peace and contentment has always been present for me (to greater or lesser extent). This is especially true of scenes that involve heavy corporal punishment characterized by genuine pain & suffering.

Having said that, I am aware there are cautionary markers: if you feel burdened by something that consumes you, professional counseling may be more appropriate. Also, I don't want to contribute to the perception that those involved in BDSM are somehow psychologically damaged people who are simply acting out neurotic behavior via paddles and whips.

I'm interested in your thoughts, from Mistresses or other submissives.

Thanks.

I agree, there is definitely a healing aspect to BDSM. I think if I hadn't discovered that early on, I would not be a Mistress today. There is nothing better than administering heavy corporal and seeing the look of grateful serenity on someone's face directly afterward.

That said, there are other less healthy aspects to play as well. I would say that people who describe themselves as fetishists have a harder time navigating what is healthy play for them and what is not. I've talked to many that see their fetish as having an addictive quality, not the playful sort of "addictive", but something that drives them to do things they don't want to do. This may have more to do with the individual and their brain chemistry than fetishism, but it is not uncommon.

Fun fact: I had an anatomy professor who was able to give a neurological explanation for foot fetishism. Because one of the areas of our brain that registers sensation in our feet happens to be right next to the part of our brains that registers genital sensation, some people may have some cross-wiring here that may relate feet with arousal.


xoxo.


V

I think that a common theme here is trust. All the aspects you mention are related to getting to trust the mistress. Once this happens there is some healing aspect in being able to be open about things which otherwise you keep to yourself.

I can definitely relate to what you say about the healing power and therapeutic value of BDSM. Nothing quite equals the feeling of well being I get after the catharsis of a great session. Corporal punishment, in particular, comes with quite a lovely endorphin buzz, but dopamine and other nice chemicals usually flood my neural synapses when I play. BDSM remains one of the sweetest releases I get to experience in this life. I stop short of calling it therapy, even though it can also be emotionally and psychologically beneficial because that kind of implies dommes are licensed therapists which of course they are not.

Thanks for sharing that. Very fascinating and cool. Explains why foot worship is so pleasurable for the worshiped. For the worshiper, the cross-wiring must be between brain and lips.

I largely agree with your points. You might find this thread I started a while back interesting:

http://domina.ms/~domroot/thebuzz/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2523#Post2523

I agree that it doesn't match up perfectly for why seeing a foot would arouse, however it is the prevailing theory. Look up foot fetishism and the somatosensory cortex.


So glad to see that the posting things here get the same scrutiny as MF.

When I initially became more seriously involved in BDSM, it was about exploring my body and mind and what was hot and sexy and fun and got me off, but as time has gone on I have became very aware and appreciative of it's therapeutic qualities, and that I personally have and continue to use it as a form of therapy, just like any other kind.



I very much agree. While there are a few of us Dommes who have actual psychological education and training, most do not, and are not equipped to handle more than some general counseling.

Even for those of us who might be able to sit you down and provide therapy, it's in your best interest to see someone who you do not have an erotic relationship with. When this is a component of a relationship it can create what's called "transference" (and for Dommes the complement is "counter-transference") which can affect perception and motivation and mess up your healing process.




While it's true that there are people involved in BDSM who are psychologically damaged and abuse others, it's no different that in any other subculture -- including "vanilla".

Plenty of vanilla relationships have deeply traumatized people acting out destructive and criminal behaviors. So do people in corporate settings. And construction. And fast food. And medicine.

Humans are often emotionally damaged in some form, and many of them aren't involved in BDSM. So the whole attempt to say that an interest in BDSM says something about your character or morality or life experience is projection not fact.

Mistress Tissa,

Thank You for Your thoughtful reply.

I should have used different wording at the end of my post: instead of "perception," a better choice would be "stereotype." I certainly don't think involvement in BDSM is a marker of neurosis or dysfunction.

And thank you for the post. I really appreciate when people talk about how beneficial BDSM can be for mental and emotional health -- and even spiritual, if you are so inclined.



Oh, I didn't think you did. And I think "perception" works though, too. People do have a perception that to be interested in BDSM you must have something wrong with you. (Though I think this may be changing...)