If you write an intelligent, one paragraph request giving your experience level, what type of session you're looking for, and your name on a couple of BDSM boards (FetLife and Maxfisch are good), it's not clear to me that references matter all that much. In recent years I've been including Domme's names, email addresses and their sites as references. You may skate by without an actual reference reply.

I do send an email to the Dommes to expect a reference request.