This is not an idle question. I mean it. I know we engage in bdsm conduct because we want to do so, but do we also seek to find a Lady whose conduct of Her sessions with you/us is actual frightening? Does She hit you physically? Does She abuse you in any other way, i.e., risking your habits becoming publicly known if that is a risk to you? What makes You afraid? I personally have always been confident of a healthy bdsm relationship with the Dommes I saw repeatedly, but I also know that starting anew has risks and uncertainties. Has anyone had a really bad experience which he would be willing to disclose, discuss.

Not afraid... but intimidated. I always wanted more, but never wanted to offend any of the ladies I have served. Yet many did of encourage my carnal behavior to a point. My deepest subspace experiences were with Goddess Vegas. Her strength, looks, legs and attitude (her scissors were killers too) kept me so intimidated that I sometimes forgot to ask or was afraid to ask if I could pleasure myself at the end of more than one session. But then I relived our adventures for days and days afterwards... even to this day.

She is retired now I just found this video that illustrates my attraction:
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/402895/rough_lifting_the_boys_by_lift_goddess/

The only time I was actually afraid in session was with jessy Kang in NYC, I was tied to the table, deepthroating her strapon and couldn't breathe for a very short time. She pulled out and laughed, it was a little scary and a little exciting. I think to feel comfortably scared (if there is such a thing) you have to have a longer term relationship with your domme, I do not have this yet.