I was saying goodbye to a favorite submissive. He caught me completely by surprise by saying, "I'm so lucky to have you as my best friend." I've had subs say all kinda weird things after sessions, but this made me think. Are clients really friends? If I met this person in a laundromat, would we be having lunch in two weeks?

I welcome comments from both Dommes and subs.

That is such a touchy line. Boundaries are important for both subs and, doms. In my 20 years in the prodom scene, I've found amazingly beautiful friends, whom I met as clients or, video subs. In my experience, about 25% are people that you would spend time with, even if you met them while working in an office environment. You've just got to dodge the energy vampires, as you would in any other walk of life.

As far as his comment that you are his "Best friend," Who hasn't felt that way about their pilates instructor or, amazing masseuse? Every thing, as it is intended, maybe?

A lot of clients will never be friends. Prodommes are also into discretion for the sake of their own lives. So, no friendly "hello"s when bumping into each other in pubic.

Knowing someone too much as a human ruins the BDSM chemistry for some subs. I imagine that is also the case for prodommes.

I've read prodommes in the past write that having someone as a friend first, then a client, would create a lot of emotionally awkward situations. I imagine subs who are higher EQ would probably agree with.

OTOH I think there is a lot of room for clients to become friends the way one might be friends with their lawyer, doctor, investment person, acupuncturist, etc.

In another thread, on another board, a prodomme lamented how a regular client of years disappeared one day. She doesn't know if he is alive or dead, well or not. She wrote that if he had to stop sessioning she would have valued a brief goodbye message letting her know he is okay.

I think that is how I would go if I saw a prodomme regularly and became friends with her the way I am with my accupuncturist or investment person. If she decided to retire I would value a message and if I decided to move to the other side of the planet I would let her know and say goodbye.

I really enjoyed interacting with my physical therapist. He recommended a pilates instructor/personal trainer at my gym if I wanted to continue with guidance. I don't want to go back to 7am workouts, but I should give that person a call.

It does seem intriguing that the pilates people have a device they call "the reformer". LOL!

LOL! My pilates instruct is a sadist. She gets a kick out of it too. When leading a class and, she knows everyone is worn out, she says ten more. Then counts 1, 2, 3, 4, 4, 5, 6, 6, ect. She laughs and, smiles the entire time. It reminds me of my old caning videos. In between shoots one of my video slaves said, "Mistress, you don't know how to count."

Some clients are naturally friendly and they will regard a number of people they meet or know as their friends . . . There will be between 1 and 20 or 30% of the population like that. I have no idea what the % would be, but I would think there was something wrong with me if I did not regard several of the dommes I have seen as friends.

I regard as friends some people I have met once and may not meet again in this lifetime. I regard them as friends because they are nice in some way or ways . . .

It is a compliment; some of the people I regard as friends I would regard as friends unless and until they were lying to me or not keeping appointments of whatever kind: lunch, dinner, massage, workout, domination session, etc.

The question is whether or not, as part of being the domme, a domme will lie, deceive or cheat in a way that the sub/guy regards as seriously unfair? I do not know! And, would such deception or lying accomplish a meaningful goal?

Perhaps he was still in Sub-Space.

Not surprising, there are many people that are starving for human connection, almost regardless of the nature of that connection.

It happens often for more conventional "providers", where the entire time is spent talking (sort of like a GFE).

Why wouldn't that be the case for BDSM, where people are often resurrecting a part of themselves, experiencing a sort of awakening, of something that has been suppressed for vast majority of their lives.

The feelings that come along with that can be very powerful.

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Best friends is probably hyperbole, but in a nice way. Like any other business, some relations are mostly transactional and sometimes you just come across people you like and sometimes you do have a chance to be friends with someone you wouldn't have talked to in the laundromat. People are interesting that way. I would take it as a compliment and laugh a little.

Unlike other businesses, people tell us their deepest, darkest secretes and live a whole life that they can't even talk about outside our dungeon walls. Sometimes we might forget, as normal and day-to-day it is for us, these are monumental moments for many of our clients and they share them with us. I quite like that bond and ability to be the one to see under the "dark veil."

It is a personal thing. It depends on both parties. There are subs more likely to make friends and there are mistresses more likely to do that. The content of their sessions is important. Sessions high on protocol and role playing are less likely to generate friendships.

Frankly this is not something I expect when I meet a new mistress. However if I meet somebody I like a lot as a person and this can and does happen I want to be friends as much as if we met in different circumstances. Like any other relation it is something which develops over time and organically.