I see this s your first post and reading that I feel bad for you because you seem very sincere and I don’t think it should be that difficult to find a Domme and book a session. I’d like to offer some advice but I have a lot of questions and I’m not sure where to start so I’ll just make a few comments.

The thing that jumps out at me is It’s possible you are having problems because you are trying to book so far in advance. I don’t know exactly how your correspondence goes and your location or circumstance but that may be part of the problem. I’m sure there are a lot of very reputable Dommes out there who would be happy to see you. For example you replied to Mistress Ayn so I would suggest contacting her if you are near Atlanta ( which I’m guessing you are not). If you don’t mind sharing your general location I’m sure people here could make some specific recommendations.

You are relatively new to sessioning and I can understand if you are reluctant to send a deposit so far in advance so maybe wait until a few weeks out and send a request with a specific date to an experienced Domme with a good reputation and be willing to pay a deposit if asked. I’ve been doing sessions for a long time and have rarely had the Domme cancel on me.