there is huge emotional investment in even contacting a domme for me. i am not very experienced (6 or 7 sessions. most with one particular domme) and it is really hard for me to get up the courage to even contact a domme for the first time. i feel crushed when the domme doesn't respond. or even worse they respond and give ambiguous answers. such as saying i'm interested in seeing you but never confirming the date. or waiting a month to respond. i want to send a deposit. i want to treat you the same as any professional, but if i'm being rejected, just reject me! don't leave me hanging saying your going to check your calendar then i never hear from you. do i follow up? maybe they forgot? how soon do i send a follow up email? how may times do i send an email? once? twice? i request appointments weeks or months out. how long do i wait before looking elsewhere? if someone waits to respond for weeks or months, am is still obligated to honor that request?

speaking for myself, there is a huge emotional and time investment before i even reach out. two of the last four dommes that i've contacted have done that to me and it has crushed me to the point that i'm afraid to even ask someone for a session right now. maybe there are well adjusted subs out there, but i'm not one of them.

i think that is why i appreciated the dommes who responded professionally. they replied quickly and clearly. i always knew were i stood and i deeply appreciate them and their professionalism. the flip side where the other two left me hanging was much harder to deal with. most of the session that i've had were with a domme who has jerked me around for the last year. even though our relationship is professional, i am emotionally invested the same way that people are emotionally invested with my doctors or therapists. if you have a life event that takes you out of service, i understand. you don't have to tell me all the details but, if you want to be professional, you have to communicate and offer something. your not taking new clients, you have a serious illness and you won't be able to see me but you are sending your clients to this colleague etc. that is what i would expect from a professional.