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#9140 - 01/10/20 10:56 AM Re: Cancellations and Deposits [Re: Mistress Ayn]
langerr Online   content
Regular

Registered: 07/09/19
Posts: 156
I was talking to a friend, and his wife's beloved dog needed an operation to save/extend it's life. The vet required payment in advance of 80% of the expected cost due to no shows on the day of the operation and difficulties getting paid.

Of course he paid. $7,000. With the rest due after the operation.

Yup - it's a societal problem.

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#9141 - 01/10/20 03:58 PM Re: Cancellations and Deposits [Re: Mistress Ayn]
Swordfish Offline
Regular

Registered: 10/31/15
Posts: 127
Loc: California
I totally understand why pro dommes ask for deposits. That said, I'd still rather not be asked for one, just because, if I can not put that risk on myself, why would I? For many years, I had so many options for domination that I just skipped the dommes who charge deposits and went with the ones who didn't. These days, pretty much everyone charges a deposit, so I don't have that option of simply going to a no-deposit domme, so I pay it. It's not really an issue, like I said I understand the business reason, I just didn't see any reason to take that risk on if I didn't need to.

From what I can tell, most dommes, or at least the small number I've seen recently, charge a deposit for new customers but not all customers. I think this is extra-understandable, new customers are the most likely to flake.

One thing I've noted is that most dommes do not write down their deposit policy, and seem to informally administer it however. I've heard of some dommes, as long as you give them sufficient notice, will allow you to shift the appointment to a different day, one time. Others, it seems to be that if you cancel for any reason, at any time, you surrender the deposit, which isn't something I'd ever abide (but again, no hard feelings, just not something I'd do)

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#9142 - 01/10/20 05:12 PM Re: Cancellations and Deposits [Re: Mistress Ayn]
Poester Online   content
Enthusiast

Registered: 01/04/18
Posts: 313
I'm late for just about everything EXCEPT for sessions. lol

po

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#9143 - 01/10/20 08:45 PM Re: Cancellations and Deposits [Re: Poester]
Kneel4Her Offline
Regular

Registered: 10/06/19
Posts: 104
Loc: GA
Originally Posted By Poester
I'm late for just about everything EXCEPT for sessions. lol

po


Same po! Lol. I'm late for most things, except work and sessions.

I get why a deposit would be required if you've never seen a particular Domme before. Although I'm sure there are a lot of good people, I'm also sure there are a lot of flakes and crazies out there that would book a session and not show.

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#9148 - 01/11/20 01:32 AM Re: Cancellations and Deposits [Re: midlet]
Komodo Online   content
Addict

Registered: 07/12/19
Posts: 430
I am the complete opposite from you. Deposits are an inconvenience I can put up with. But for the mistresses I have a connection with, and probably Mistress Ayn would be one if we got to know each other, I would feel offended. I would still pay, but I would trust less somebody who knows me but still does not trust me. Fortunately this has not happened yet, and I do not speak only about mistresses.

On a side note, you should understand that a mistress has a lot of overhead so not showing up for a meeting without ample notice means stiffing her and more often than not even financial loss if she had to reserve the dungeon. Compensating for that is a matter of correctness and should have nothing to do with how much you like her.

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#9150 - 01/11/20 06:36 AM Re: Cancellations and Deposits [Re: Mistress Ayn]
MsRoseWoods Online   content

Enthusiast

Registered: 06/17/19
Posts: 283
Originally Posted By Mistress Ayn
Hello midlet,

Your points are valid ones. I agree that the entire industry has changed. I am not sure which came first the chicken or the egg, but I suspect Domme behavior (or at least the appearance of Domme behavior) has had a great deal of influence on subs behaviors. Platforms like Twitter, Instagram and even Fetlife not only show a more transactional side of the FemDom industry but they give the impression that Dommes are a dime a dozen. In reality, highly skilled Dommes that you can truly trust your mind and body to, do not grow on trees. Most of the profiles on those platforms are of online Dommes, FinDommes, cam girls, etc. but they give the impression that if I piss off Domme A, I can just go to Domme b,c,d or e. Many subs learn the fallacy of this the hard way when they behave like the sub I brought up yesterday. Often they come back months later wanting to be "let back in". Truth is, some subs wouldn't know what a real connection was if it bit them on the behind and I am not even sure that's what they are looking for. It's commendable that you have found Dommes that you admire, have connected with and value their time.



I'm a confirmed Twitter hater! I lay almost all the negative changes in professional Domination at it's door. I'm in complete agreement with Mistress Ayn. Social media and the 6000000000000000000000 artificial Dommes that thrive on it, have created a false reality. High quality professional Domination is practiced by a relatively small group of Mistresses. If you are aiding and abetting these flim-flam harlots by sending them money, shame on you! Spend your money with a real Dominatrix who is spending money for equipment, continuing education, and Dungeon rent!

I would like to see the Buzz offer a Forum dedicated to exposing false social media Dommes!
_________________________
Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.

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#9172 - 01/14/20 04:38 PM Re: Cancellations and Deposits [Re: Mistress Ayn]
MayaMidnight Online   content

Artisan

Registered: 06/23/19
Posts: 87
I wonder if the issue is "people are becoming more flakey" or "it's much easier to send money electronically now, and businesses are increasingly taking advantage of their new ability to prevent flakes."

I suspect it's more the latter than the former, but I could be wrong about that.

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#9185 - 01/16/20 10:36 AM Re: Cancellations and Deposits [Re: Mistress Ayn]
87pegged Offline
Member

Registered: 08/04/19
Posts: 23
Loc: North Carolina
I used to never mind paying deposits but lately I am more reserved and hesitant.

In the last year I have had two cancel. These were both experienced, legitimate, and have been in the community for years. I may session 2-3 times in a year so I take my sessions very seriously. From shaving myself to doing some self pegging training. This is a lot of prep time. For them it might be easier to reschedule but for me it’s more challenging based on my work and family.

In these situations I would prefer to have my money returned but from experience it is a hassle to do. I understand life happens but there should be some sort of compromise that is laid out when the other side cancels.
_________________________
Submissive living in the RTP area

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#9186 - 01/16/20 11:22 AM Re: Cancellations and Deposits [Re: 87pegged]
Mistress Ayn Online   content

Veteran

Registered: 10/13/15
Posts: 1314
Loc: Romania
That's unfortunate to hear. It is important for Pros to understand that carving out time for a session can be difficult for a client and that the amping up mentally for a session is part of the appeal but it becomes a real let down if the session doesn't happen.

There are varying degrees of professionalism in every industry but it's disappointing to hear that these were established Dommes with good reputations. Are you saying that you did not get the deposit returned either?

Personally I can count the number of times I have canceled on one hand. If the person was local I would offer to add time to the session or reduce the tribute if he could reschedule. If the person was traveling I would try to refer him to another Domme. That is just the "right" thing to do. I don't think I have ever had to return a deposit but would not hesitate to do so. In fact, they wouldn't even have to ask.
_________________________
Making grown men cry . . . and loving every minute of it.

Main website: www.mistressayn.com
Content site: www.aynrules.com
Follow Me on Twitter - @MistressAyn

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#9188 - 01/16/20 12:10 PM Re: Cancellations and Deposits [Re: Mistress Ayn]
87pegged Offline
Member

Registered: 08/04/19
Posts: 23
Loc: North Carolina
For one I asked multiple times. They were in another state so I wanted the deposit returned as who knows when I will return. After many “undeliverable texts” I said to keep the deposit in the hopes I return one day. We both agreed to that along with other things. To think about it that was about 2 years ago.

The other is dealing with a family emergency so is continuously traveling between states. I rescheduled but ended up canceling as I realized I wouldn’t have the time to prepare. Still trying to find an ideal time to session but it’s tough as I try to prepare over a few week period.

Since I don’t session often due to a few reasons I take my session time very seriously. I try to avoid the temptation of scheduling a session unless I’m sure I’m ready and comfortable to do so.
_________________________
Submissive living in the RTP area

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