Since you opened the off the board topic I will answer to it. I relate to what you say, I could be either or as well although most of the time I choose to be neither. The reason I do not want to be dominant is that in my mind it equates to being responsible and I have more responsibilities than I care for as it is.

But since you are dominant and do it for a good cause, you should take it seriously. You have to choose goals which are attainable, and where you have a decent chance of success. Having somebody lose 100 pounds is very difficult, but having them keep them off is next to impossible.

Putting weight on and off as a yo-yo is unhealthy. So maybe this time you should shoot for a more achievable weight loss over a longer period of time. Give her a chance to succeed.