Oddly enough I have never been to a munch either. I know a lot of the members of the Whimper group in Atlanta, so I would suggest that one. I've been invited to some of their play parties - which are quite lively I hear.

I think bringing a ProDomme to a munch could certainly make things easier - at least with this group. BDSM groups in general can be cliquish, so as you said, it depends on what you put into your exchanges. Most of their munches have a theme, so go prepared to discuss and engage.

The best way to keep up with them and other local munch groups is Fetlife.