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#8545 - 12/01/19 06:19 PM
Psychological play, online vs. in RT sessions
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Regular
Registered: 06/16/19
Posts: 100
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I've done my share of sessioning over the years, and for reasons I am maybe but maybe not figuring out, the last few years have been most heavily on the phone and online, and have involved some financial domination and mental manipulation. This was never really an interest earlier in life. Apparently, from what the small number of phone mistresses I've spoken to, who are kind of at the top of their game, have said is that this trajectory is not uncommon as people get older -- that BDSM becomes more mental and psychological. I think addictive behavior around the internet has something to do with it too.
One thing two different women have said to me is that they provide a more intense experience than a pro-domme. I thought that that was boastful and wrong, but one went on to explain that playing with things like compulsion and addiction are things pro dommes can't really do because of safety reasons. No one wants to create a stalker, or to trigger in a bad way someone who's in the room with you. One also said something about the way in which one books a pro domme, which is a more business-like transaction occurring a specific time and place, versus the way in which manipulative online dommes will create a desire that a sub will want to give in to all the time.
There are certainly things hot and intense about this kind of play. And I do know that there are pro dommes who work with things like chastity, for example, which leaves a mental mark between sessions. But wondering if any dommes out there agree or disagree that the more manipulative, reprogramming psychological BDSM is more of an online thing.
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#8547 - 12/02/19 04:11 AM
Re: Psychological play, online vs. in RT sessions
[Re: palmer]
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Enthusiast
Registered: 06/17/19
Posts: 283
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I've done my share of sessioning over the years, and for reasons I am maybe but maybe not figuring out, the last few years have been most heavily on the phone and online, and have involved some financial domination and mental manipulation. This was never really an interest earlier in life. Apparently, from what the small number of phone mistresses I've spoken to, who are kind of at the top of their game, have said is that this trajectory is not uncommon as people get older -- that BDSM becomes more mental and psychological. I think addictive behavior around the internet has something to do with it too.
One thing two different women have said to me is that they provide a more intense experience than a pro-domme. I thought that that was boastful and wrong, but one went on to explain that playing with things like compulsion and addiction are things pro dommes can't really do because of safety reasons. No one wants to create a stalker, or to trigger in a bad way someone who's in the room with you. One also said something about the way in which one books a pro domme, which is a more business-like transaction occurring a specific time and place, versus the way in which manipulative online dommes will create a desire that a sub will want to give in to all the time.
There are certainly things hot and intense about this kind of play. And I do know that there are pro dommes who work with things like chastity, for example, which leaves a mental mark between sessions. But wondering if any dommes out there agree or disagree that the more manipulative, reprogramming psychological BDSM is more of an online thing.
Interesting perspective.
_________________________
Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.
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#8554 - 12/03/19 05:15 AM
Re: Psychological play, online vs. in RT sessions
[Re: palmer]
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Enthusiast
Registered: 06/21/19
Posts: 369
Loc: USA
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This is interesting. I will just make a few comments. I’m old and I figure I started doing sessions over 35 years ago. Until recently I’ve never had any desire for any type of distance or online play at all. It’s still not something I would consider with someone I’ve never seen for an in person session but in the last few years the desire has grown in me for a more intense mental or psychological connection between sessions. I’m sure part of the reason is due to circumstances I am unable to session as often as I did plus not being occupied with work the way I was I have more time to think and fantasize about bdsm.
I am definitely desiring to have the Domme stay with me in my head between sessions. A mental mark is a good way of putting it. I never ever would have thought I would have any desire for any kind distance training between sessions but I am open to it now if the Domme and circumstances were right.
_________________________
And still trying to figure it all out.................. buffalo
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#8556 - 12/03/19 09:15 AM
Re: Psychological play, online vs. in RT sessions
[Re: palmer]
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Veteran
Registered: 10/13/15
Posts: 1314
Loc: Romania
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This is an interesting subject to me and you have raised the topic in a very articulate way, so thanks for that. In general I am not a great fan of distance training but for different reasons stated. One thing two different women have said to me is that they provide a more intense experience than a pro-domme. I thought that that was boastful and wrong, but one went on to explain that playing with things like compulsion and addiction are things pro dommes can't really do because of safety reasons. No one wants to create a stalker, or to trigger in a bad way someone who's in the room with you. One also said something about the way in which one books a pro domme, which is a more business-like transaction occurring a specific time and place, versus the way in which manipulative online dommes will create a desire that a sub will want to give in to all the time. I had never really thought of this before. I am mainly an in person session Domme but over the past couple of years I have started to incorporate distance training in the form of chastity (with email, phone, Skype) with subs I do live session with. There is nothing like chastity to leave an indelible imprint. It is omnipresent and makes the sub think of the keyholder incessantly and want to communicate daily (whether permitted or not). I can see where it would be easy for someone to become obsessed in a not so good way. It does sound like the online Dommes you are dealing with are at the top of their game. I have often wondered if a Domme could be at the top of both genres and have come to the conclusion over the years that it would be a rare feat. I worked closely with an online Domme for years that has since retired. She was amazing at what she did. I would send her my clients that wanted distance training and when possible she would send them back to me for in person sessions. We had great fun with this and even went so far as to Skype a session once with her chiming in on the activities. I wish I could find a professional like her again.
_________________________
Making grown men cry . . . and loving every minute of it. Main website: www.mistressayn.comContent site: www.aynrules.com Follow Me on Twitter - @MistressAyn
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#8564 - 12/03/19 06:44 PM
Re: Psychological play, online vs. in RT sessions
[Re: palmer]
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Artisan
Registered: 06/23/19
Posts: 87
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I think those Mistresses make pretty good points.
Something I've noticed about online vs RT play is that us RT players do have to acknowledge the line between fantasy and reality in the way an online or phone domme does not. With phone play you don't schedule an appointment or deal with providing references/deposits, most clients don't ever really talk to the domme "out of character" the way you might chit chat with a pro-domme after a session, and the fantasies you act out are not limited by practicality. You can call a Mistress about a scenario in which -- for example -- she makes you suck a dozen dicks without ever thinking about how difficult it would be to get twelve guys and your Mistress to line up their schedules, the possibility that some might have trouble getting hard or ejaculating or how much it would cost to make that happen.
I think that freedom to fantasize can be very seductive for a certain type of sub.
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#8571 - 12/05/19 11:05 PM
Re: Psychological play, online vs. in RT sessions
[Re: MayaMidnight]
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Regular
Registered: 06/16/19
Posts: 100
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Thank you for replying. I know you're on Niteflirt as well as do RT sessions, so I was actually hoping you'd weigh in.
Yes, you make great points. A lot of the online dommes do advertise scenarios -- homewrecking, ruination, sending subs to glory holes -- that for those callers probably do just play out in fantasy terms. Not all, though. One online domme who does home wrecking fantasy told me she's pulled back from it after some guys actually went through with her "instructions."
I think there are many different types of online dommes, though. The main woman I have spoken with is someone who I do talk with quite a bit out of character. Probably 50/50 actually.
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#8572 - 12/05/19 11:15 PM
Re: Psychological play, online vs. in RT sessions
[Re: Mistress Ayn]
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Regular
Registered: 06/16/19
Posts: 100
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I have often wondered if a Domme could be at the top of both genres and have come to the conclusion over the years that it would be a rare feat. I think you're right because every domme probably works on developing her own particular skill set. The main person I talk to has a photo that may or may not be herself, but it's old -- she's been using it for years. So, no clips, photo shoots, etc. She doesn't have a dungeon or equipment (or at least not for pro sessions.) She doesn't have to study how to do sounds, or stuff like that. So she can spend time on calls and develop a lot of psychological technique, and all that time talking leads to a skill set that is more specifically tuned to distance play than an RT session domme would have time to develop.
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#8573 - 12/05/19 11:17 PM
Re: Psychological play, online vs. in RT sessions
[Re: buffalo]
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Regular
Registered: 06/16/19
Posts: 100
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The two dommes I've seen very sporadically over the last four or so years both have Niteflirt accounts, and I think if I told them I wanted to have some form of continual between session play, I'm sure we could work something out.
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#8627 - 12/08/19 12:01 PM
Sessions vs experiences
[Re: palmer]
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Artisan
Registered: 12/08/19
Posts: 99
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I've sessioned for a long time as well. At this point simply having "a session" doesn't float my boat. I want a story, a narrative. An experience. A list of activities without the connective thread of a larger narrative feels mechanical. A roleplay that lasts 2 weeks and includes both sessions, phone and email is what I seek. Not easy to find in the world of commoditized bdsm. But more because subs aren't seeking it than because dommes can't provide it.
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#8629 - 12/08/19 03:25 PM
Re: Sessions vs experiences
[Re: future pet]
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Regular
Registered: 06/16/19
Posts: 100
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Thanks for commenting. I'd be curious to hear more about your experiences in the realm of two-week experiences if you'd be willing to share.
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