I agree we are talking past each other at this point and not really understanding the point that the other feels they have made. You are the bigger person for saying it first, but I also want to apologize to you for what I may have misunderstood or any offense I have caused in my responses.

Thanks, I appreciate it. Onward and upward!

Thanks my friend, much appreciated.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is pretty narrow.

Most financial dominants don't really lie, unless you feel that the subjective humiliation stuff (you're a worthless loser!) is so far over the top that it's a lie.

I don't know anything about her, and am just using her name because she's one of the most famous financial dominants. But I don't think Princess Sierra lies in order to get guys to pay her. There's no fake story, there are no fake pictures. It's more like, this is who you are, this is who I am, and you need to do this.

So putting aside the question of whether or not what anyone is doing is OK, or whether it ought to be looked down on, I'm just saying that what the woman in the original story did -- lied, and pretended someone else's photos were hers, making up a fake story, etc. -- isn't really what established women in this subsection of the scene do. It's just sort of different, and coming out of a different intent.

Most people here are down on financial domination, and I get that. I think it's a perfectly reasonable position to take. I myself am quite conflicted about this stuff.

My point is mostly that since this woman is different from most other women who do financial domination, it's not altogether fair to say, because she does x, y, and z, these other women who don't do any of those things suck.

Again, I know that people here could list other reasons why they think they suck, and that's fine. On a bad day, I agree with many of those reasons. But I don't think that what this one particular woman did says much about the financial domination scene one way or another, because I don't think she's really part of it.

The essential thing that makes it financial domination is what I said Sierra does -- it's really about that mutual recognition of who the guy is, and who the domme is, and the belief that means that a tribute in exchange for nothing is appropriate.

Wow, i'm very surprised reading all of this, I assumed that dommes sessioned with like 5+ clients a day and put in like 30-40 hours a week.

This is where I have to disagree... Selling their fantasy story of a luxiourious lifestyle and constantly being lavished with gifts, is a large part of the culture of findom. Unfortunately, that just isn't true and a lot of what you see is completely made up. A $5 online gift from a sub is manipulated into a $500 one through Photoshop. A pile of gifts from Amazon is actually stuff they themselves ordered. They may be actually fanning themselves with $100 bills in a video but I have been the one behind the camera and seen a FemDom pull that from her stash of session money she made while visiting Detroit so that the findom could make that video.

I have known findoms who makes ends meet through crappy waitressing or minimum wage jobs rather than their findom activity. This is why it is not that unusual to see a findom actually begging for money to make the rent (I mean this as a general thing that you see happen over and over, not that most findoms are ever in this bad of a position).


Behind the scenes many (but certainly not all) are drug addled 20 something's popping Adderall and smoking pot with out of work loser boyfriends they may advertise as their alpha, rather than the incredibly glamorous women they portray themselves as... I have either been a direct witness to it or have been told the story of it by a friend who had shot videos with them.




Since you've invoked her, I want to say that I don't know her or anything about her so I don't want my comments from above applied to her as true. But, I will invoke a Canadian findom named Russian Queen M to bolster your general point. Again, never met her personally (although I did interact with her when doing the Domme Travel stuff, and she was nothing but class and grace when I did). However, I was hanging out with a FemDom (who is seriously slipping into findom) who had just visited with her and heard there were no drugs, that she was highly successful from a financial viewpoint and that she, and the findoms in her inner circle, worked incredibly hard across all platforms to earn that success. So, my statements are not true for 100% of findoms and Princess Sierra may be in that class as well...




This is actually the nub of our disagreement. Whereas you put the class of liars and manipulators as the outlying minority... My experience is that they actually are the majority of findoms and the one who stole the pics of a true incident, is just the worst of those.





I agree that financial domination is a valid fetish... Just like wrestling is. I don't particularly have a problem with a woman specializing in that fetish as part of a mutually beneficial relationship... Just like with session wrestlers. Where I have a problem with it is the way that findoms have specifically conflated what they do with FemDom and built a culture of lying and manipulation around this one particular fetish... Unlike session wrestlers who don't conflate the two, even when they participate in both.

FemDoms receive gifts... Sometimes, very large ones... That are not a session payment. I remember when the late Goddess Amadahy was given a brand new car, that she picked out, by a sub (again, not because she posted about it but rather because I knew her). Another Domme of mine (since retired) had a sub help her buy her first house. I, myself, even paid a large portion of a breast augmentation for a breast-cancer survivor Domme of mine who had a mastectomy years earlier.

All of these gifts come out of a caring relationship with that FemDom... So, my anti-findom stance is not about the money or amount of money. It is not about a particular findom and whether that one individual is good and honest in the way they fulfill that fetish for a willing individual. Instead it is about the entire culture of it (which is more stripper like than FemDom in the way it is about the financial manipulation of men through their crotch.. without even the honesty of the naked woman in front of you) and the way that culture of manipulation naturally leads to the heinous behavior that prompted this thread.

Haha. And we wear our boots and corset to the grocery store and we all roll out of bed looking like we do in our photos. There a lot of unrealistic ideas about our industry. Sometimes those fantasies need to be reeled in. From what I have read on MF over the years there is a great deal of resentment about what Dommes charge and the truth is if we didn't charge the hourly rate we do, we wouldn't earn a living wage.

Most Dommes do far less that what I stated.

I'm not in a place where I can write you a proper response, but I want to say something. Also, I'm going to be with family for the next couple of days, so please don't be offended if I don't hold up my end moving forward.

But here's an analogy. There are an awful lot of women in NYC who will tie you up. But if you're really into bondage, you might feel like there are maybe two or three women who are the real deal.

I'm really into financial domination. There are a lot of women out there who talk about it, but very, very few who seem real to me.

I think that part of the mismatch here is that you're counting everyone who talks about it as a findomme, including the crazy lying lady who steals photos. But to me, the number of women who really get it is very small, and I don't think of the others as being genuine.

I'm not trying to say that I'm right, and that my conception of this scene as a very small club is necessarily reasonable. To be honest, I wasn't really aware that I was thinking about it in this way until this thread caused me to examine my assumptions more closely.

But I think this is one of the main reasons we're disagreeing. I admit, freely, that most of the women the anti-findom people can't stand are genuinely awful. I can't stand them either, and have no interaction with them at all.

But it's not all like that. And while the part I'm talking about might be very small compared to the part everyone hates, it does exist.

Thank you for that response. I don’t know for sure but I think a lot or at least some guys think the Domme is just acting or going through the motions. I probably thought that way when I was younger but I realised a long time ago that was not true. I’d like to say more about this but I can’t figure out exactly what. I can see it’s a tough , rewarding and intense job. Kind of like being a shrink but with a much more intense and physical hands on vibe.

Just based on your posts here I know you are great at what you do and I hope one day I can session with you.

Hi Asp

It all circles back to what people are willing to pay for your skills.
There ARE, in fact, Findommes that are making 6 figure salaries.

po