Yes, buffalo, sessions can be intense for the Domme too. And you are correct that we need to be "on" the entire time because we are responsible for driving the session and your safety. But it's even more than that. All good sessions require a connection that to me is like giving a little piece of myself to that other person. Sometimes it's so intense that even short sessions can leave me energized - but also drained. Longer sessions take even more and "changing hats" - meaning seeing more than one client per day can be the most challenging. That "perception" or empathy that some Dommes seem to bring so easily to their sessions is costing them. Obviously it's a price we are willing to pay - over and over.

Fortunately I have the ability to let the energy build throughout the day and don't realize that I am tired (physically) and drained (emotionally) until after I have started the wind down - usually once I've eaten is when it hits me. I absolutely love what I do, or I wouldn't do it. I am educated. I have worked corporate jobs, owned my own business and put in those 60 hour work weeks - so I know what they feel like. Frankly a busy week as a Domme is more emotionally demanding than a busy week at the office but it's way more satisfying. And hey, if I need a break, I take one.

*gulp* Yes Mistress

Go back and read the part I quoted... None of that applies to findom. Which means you were bitching about Pro Domme session rates and conflated the two. I was not implying anything, I was very specifically saying you did that and that is specifically why I responded with a defense of Pro Dommes and why their rates are what they are.

Saying you understood the amount of equipment necessary is not something that applies to findoms as no dungeon or equipment is necessary for findom. Findoms are also usually not charging a set hourly session rate (except through something like niteflirt, but even that is usually by the minute), rather they are asking you to buy things that will earn you their attention. That is part of the allure of good findom over Pro for some guys... In Pro, it is fee for service and that makes the entire relationship feel transactional (and these rates are what you were referring to}.

Findom can feel more personal in that you are pampering this woman by lavishing them with gifts or taking care of their needs in a "completely selfless" manner. The findom, in turn, "recognizes your value" as a sub and rewards you as they see fit rather than with a specific action or amount of time based a set price. So, again, your rant about comparing hourly rates between doctors/lawyers and Dommes is just not a findom thing.

So, the part "I did not get” was your bringing Max Fisch style crap over here as you ranted about what Pro Dommes charge in a thread that was specifically about findoms and the kind of scammy shit this one person tried to pull under the guise of it.

I had to "Opt out" of FinDom a lot of promotional articles and retweets a few years ago. It was the standard then.

I am pleased this whole fetish is going out of style.

And yet. . . I'm gonna do just that. Hear me out though.

Not all dommes, but I do insist that someone communicates with me out of role. Some can do it all being "Mistress all the time," but I need a foil to evaluate mental health.

Most findoms rely on heavy humiliation and bullying. (Absolutely fine with in the context of a session.) The problem is, if applied relentlessly and without understanding someone's limits, it can cause someone to snap. Yes, the meek, and whimpering "paypig" couldn't get past his ATM limit, so she made it his fault and perhaps humiliated him on the street. In the right context a sexy scene, and she has probably been rewarded for that behaviour in the past. Nope, this one snaps.

I don't like victim blaming, and I am sad this happened to anyone. It was an expensive lesson for her to learn. I hope she takes it to heart.

If your business model is to prey on the perceived weak and stupid, you are not kinky, you are an asshole.

The point here is that it didn't actually happen to a findom or as part if a cashmeet. It happened to a completely different woman for an undisclosed reason and this "findom" tried to use it to create sympathy and ultimately money for herself. It is scum of the earth behavior that is not specifically emblematic of real findoms... But, IMO, is completely enabled by the culture of it.

Why don't you go back and read what I wrote? You accused me of conflating the two. Well, the two go together a lot of times these days. Dommes offer both. THe Lady (who shall remain nameless) is now offering Fin Domme services. You make some good distinctions between Fin Dommes and Reg Pro Dommes but don't tell me they are mutually exclusive or have to be. As far as your wise ass max fish remarks, you're bringing that as well to this conversation, maybe even more so.

Also, this is your thread, I'm going to make an attempt to back off and not engage you in what is really a waste of time. Things can get confusing of here at least for me as I rush through reading things etc. If I misread or misunderstood anything your post or point/s I apologize.

It is easy to mistake how someone comes across on line. My late husband and, I were long time posters on MF before we met. If I had known who he was before we met I would not even spoken to him, let alone become a close friend and, end up having a family with him. Meeting someone in person is very different than online. Kevin Hayes is a good guy. We've spent a good bit of time in person together. Everyone on the ClubDom set has liked him too. This seems to be a simple miscommunication.

BRAVO!