I'm curious as to what people's views are when it comes to "Monogamy" in femdom. With my personal slaves (I've only had a few) it would have been out of the question unless the lady and, I were on the same page. Then, I would have been happy to loan him out and, wanted him to both have fun and, being of service. But, in the two cases where I was in a bdsm relationship (Non sexual) with a personal slave, that was a precious and, close friendship and, well as an unspoken contract of loyalty. Of the two personal slaves in my life, we ended up going different directions in life but, stay in touch, to this day.

With clients...no one really owns a client. I've never been unhappy with my clients seeing other doms. In fact, sometimes, especially when they are traveling, they've asked me for referrals and, references. There was one exception to this. One of my clients (Who is one of my best friends, to this day) and, I had a 2 hour session every week, most months we had a weekend session and, were on the phone all of the time together. It was somewhere between a client and, personal slave relationship. So, he was only allowed to play with another dom if I approved and, I sent a sealed letter for him to take to her.

My late husband and, I were monogamous in the traditional sense of the word. We certainly wouldn't have been having outright sex with anyone else. We played some times but, we had a very vanilla home and, family life that we were happy with. So, I had no problems with him going to Michelle Lacy's events and, having private sessions with ladies who I knew and, trusted. I found myself getting a little jealous about him going on one of Michelle's weekends. He sensed it and, said he wouldn't go. Then, I was left wondering what would worse to deal with...guilt of him missing out on something he looks forward a couple of times a year or, getting past him missing a family event to play with other women. I ended up insisting that he go and, felt good about that decision. I've known other couples with similar views. One of my good friends is a sub who is married to another sub. They have a traditional home life but, give each other freedom to play with Doms.

What are your thoughts and, experiences with this? Have your slaves, Doms, clients, partners, ect. felt the same?

Never had a relationship with a pro Domme outside the session so wouldn’t know. I did have relationship with a lifestyle Domme that was sexual so no we did not branch out to play with others.

It’s cool of you to let your former husband play with others that you trust. I gotta ask you Cheyenne, you never worry that one thing could lead to another or if he was secretly happier playing with yours friends.

I gotta ask you Cheyenne, you never worry that one thing could lead to another or if he was secretly happier playing with yours friends.

That is a fair question. I've seen friends who are swingers have those issues. But, we were completely monogamous when it came to sex and, had a family together. Playtime though, it was totally fine for him to have a blast with my friends. Although we played sometimes, it wasn't the same edgy play that a person would have when they weren't talking about who was picking the kids up from school or, what was for dinner. That may be odd but, for us, it was the best of both worlds. I liked he would have "Dom crushes" on my friends. It isn't as if he wanted to hold their hand and, walk through the park. He saw them in a different light...if that makes any sense. He was particularly nice that he could enjoy a married life and, not have guilt about getting his freak on now and, then.

Sounds like you both a great set up.

I enjoy other women playing with my personal subs, but when I'm involved too. Even if it's just me watching it's fine (though I get terribly riled up and can't stay on the sidelines for too long hahaha)

During play with others he should be pleasing/obeying the other party as a service to ME and because that's what I want, above all.

Yes! I felt that way too.

It was great for us. A testimony to compartmentalizing, which my husband did comfortably. One week, he'd show up at Michelle Lacy's studio. she would answer the door in a latex nun outfit (To his surprise) and, make him confess all of his sins. The next week, she and, her partner would come over for a very vanilla family dinner. Perhaps, I am hijacking my own thread here but, that part of it seemed to come down to feeling comfortable in your own skin.

I am completely poly when it comes to all of my relationships with females as my own world view equates all "romantic" style relationships with those I have with my best friends (where the idea of monogamy comes across as either possessive or just plain silly).


A lot of the activities I talk about on here are because I do have relationships with many Pros that straddle the line between Pro and personal. But, I have no jealousy towards what they do with others and for the most part they are the same with me.

Very interesting topic. I think the general answer is go with your feelings. There have been two situations in my life when I met a partner who I was seeing to be head and shoulders above the rest, at least for me.

I never made exclusivity promises, but the truth of the matter, is that at least for me, time and money are both issues, so you need to prioritize. If I could spend more time on this I still think that the best way to do it would be with my mistress.

Of course this is a personal issue, and part of the answer is what is more important to you, activities or feelings.

I think that both our answers are more interesting together, like two sides of a coin.