My first experience with "let's go harder this time, maybe try for tears?" resulted with me deep in subspace.

After we were done, I looked at my bottom and was a bit shocked at it's sorry appearance. I was going to say something but she just smiled and shrugged her shoulders in a feminine way; like "oops". I got over it.

On a related note, The first time I saw a disciplinarian advertise "no safe word" I was appalled. Isn't this against the "rules".

But I could not stop thinking about it. It would certainly seem more like a "spanking" this way. I am thus undecided.

Slave: "Retrograde ejaculation! Retrograde ejaculation!"
Mistress: "oh that's your safeword! You want me to stop"
Slave: "No, just wanted to let you know I just had one"

lol ... Anyway, more seriously, I've always felt that unless we're going with some well-known protocol -- e.g., stoplight -- it's the sub who should set the safeword. It's something that he has to remember, potentially under extreme stress and pain. I always question when a domme I'm seeing for the first time tells me what my safeword is going to be. HTF am I going to remember "stromboli" or whatever, under the stress of all this

+1

Totally agree... If a Domme ever tries to give me a random word as a safeword {and it is very rate), it is one of the few times I will not just say ”yes Mistress" and comply with her rules.

I may just have bad luck -- I've had more pro dommes than not try to assign me safewords. That's why it's a pet peeve

It could be a cultural thing amongst the Dommes in your area that I haven't run across or I may just be lucky in my choices... But, yes, definitely a problem for me whenever it has happened.

Coming back to this after more thought I think that maybe this is more important to the mistress than to the sub. It happened that the best mistresses I sessioned with did not use it, and others did. I think that having a safe word gives peace of mind to some mistresses. Those who don't use it don't need it, because they are better at reading your reactions. As a general rule those who did not use it knew better than me how hard they could push me, while those who relied on my feedback where more likely to do too little or too much.

There is also the possibility that I was just lucky.