My rule of thumb is that if the pix of a Mistress is too good to be true, it probably is. Also I want to actually speak with the Mistress on the phone to judge if she is legit. And one more point about deposits: I won't use credit cards. I will send deposits by snail mail (for traveling dominas). Over the years I sent deposits to established players who have reviews or who I have seen before. I've never been burned. That takes " the wrong head " as oracle correctly put it, out of the equation.

Part of my own screening process is to find a Mistress who is comfortable with a deposit. (Not all are, as it turns out.) This is because of the amount of pre-communication necessary to set up a good NC scene. Faux Dommes on backpage, eg, Yuri who posts in NYC, NY, Philly and elsewhere, ask for a deposit straight away.

They give a kind of one-stop-shopping vibe that is a red flag. Mistresses don't do everything imaginable. And they don't love everything imaginable. You will find that there are no wires to trip with these Mistresses. I'd like to do a session. Ok. It will involve bondage. Ok. I'll be dressed as a possum. Ok. You will too. Ok. There will be a sex change involved. Ok. But then it changes back later. Ok. Then we kill some people, bystanders mostly. Ok. We'll have to store their heads at your place. My mom is fussy. Ok. Pretty much everything is Ok as long as there's a deposit.

If you've never heard of them, can't find any info about them (google, fetlife, etc), and there is no information (including phone) to augment a few hot pics on BP and a request of upfront money, then I walk away.

It astounds me that people get scammed on BP. Websites are cheap and easy to do if a domme is in anyway serious. If a domme doesn't have one that has some kind of effort, most people just move on to the next one.

I get calls from subs who have obviously not read my webpage and I don't feel sorry nor obligated to guide them because they have been scammed before.

M

Nice to see you posting here Domina M!

Thanks for talking about this. I have had my photos stolen several times and had guys tell me about it - I've always had them taken down, thankfully on both accounts.

Because of this, I now post in my ads, in addition to my website, my twitter and instagram so that clients can further verify I am who I say I am and my ad is accurate, especially since I travel often. I also change the location for my twitter and instagram based on where I am.

I also made a "How to Screen Your Dominatrix Guide - updated 2015 that you can read on my blog: http://losangelesdominatrix.com/blog/

Stay safe and have fun!

--Mistress Justine Cross

Hello M. Justine. I get a "url not found" when I click on this. I would love to read it though. I made a video on the topic, but as @oracale said - it's mainly thinking with the wrong head that gets subs scammed.

It amazes me how many guys will ask others on these forums if they have heard of (insert backpage link) - saying, "she doesn't have a website and when I Google her nothing comes up, but she looks great". Sometimes one gets what they deserve.

And yesterday I got an email through backpage from email address "reportstolenpic@....." saying that my photos were being used in an ad in Denver. I wasn't at a computer, so I just called the number in the ad and let a message identifying myself and demanded that the pics be removed. Today the ad is down altogether. It never ends . . . one swatted down and another will crop up.

BTW, that is the second or third time I have gotten an email from that email address notifying me of stolen pic on BP. I don't know who they are, but they seem to be diligent.

Someone in New Jersey poses as me and slaves have reached out numerous times to let me know that I have an impostor on Collar Me, trying to use my image, likeness and name to offer sessions.The impostor tries to collect session deposits and even goes as far as setting up a session in a hotel. The couple slaves that reached out to me contacted me on Fetlife and they knew it wasn't me, seeing the person was offering sessions for way below proper tribute. Also, I have a distinct personality they were not seeing come from the impostor and it tipped them off.

Collar me has done nothing to take the person down years ago after I have contacted them numerous times, as well as multiple submissives/slaves.

On a funny note, a company out of China has a photo of me trying to pass of my Stormy Leather corset for an 8.00 pvc/rubber corset My friends get a trip off of this.

My advise is exactly as Mistress Ayn suggests, find a domme through backpage/eros, contact them on the information provided on their website just to make sure everything is legit.