Interesting question and it's one I sometimes ask subs over dinner or drinks. Like you, if they can trace it back at all, it's usually from something in their adolescent years that became sexualized - like you with the older sister smoking. If it had been a guy smoking I am sure it would not have had the same effect.

I can't remember anything from my youth that triggered it. I know my Barbies always drove fast cars and ordered Ken around but I don't know why.

My first real exposure to FemDom style kink was in my 20s when a man I had been with for over a year finally admitted to being into FemDom. I actually found his kink magazines so it as a forced confession but I was intrigued so we looked through all the mags together and discussed his fantasies and it just took off from there.

I wrote a lengthy article about this and our first encounter with chastity on my blog years ago but alas, the blog crashed and with it went the article. That experience brought home full force the power I held over him and probably many other men if I chose to use it.

It was a complete epiphany. I have never been a beautiful woman like the women in fashion magazines, movies or Barbie, but this experience taught me that I didn't have to be. I found power in my sexuality and I started to learn to use it. The rest is history!