I agree with this. Maybe another way to phrase it is that there are people doing findom who are informed by IRL SM principles like SSC, or RACK, and feel connected to that lineage. And then there are people who have just started doing findom, and because all their experience is over the internet, they have a different relationship (or lack of relationship) to their subs and to SM in general.

I do get the support group and addiction thing. It can be a really dangerous fetish, and I think it is almost a form of edge play. I'm thankful that I have internal checks and balances that prevent me from getting too sucked in.

Agree completely, and I almost framed it exactly this way -- findom activities that follow femdom norms, principles, and activities (e.g., SSC or RACK) vs those that don't. And to see an example of "those that don't" -- a camgirl subforum where the girls discuss other "hustles" (and they do think of findom as a hustle; just that framing itself is telling), complete with toxic and exploitative language and strategies, contempt for clients, bragging and virtual high-fiving over what is clearly unethical actions, etc.

There are many reasons I would want to see you but this post alone would be enough reason.

100% agree.

Evidently I am very out of the loop when it comes to FinDom. I had someone want to do a "cash meet" when I am in Dallas. I thought he wanted to do a cafe date and actually have a conversation. Nope. He sent me this link: https://twitter.com/goddesstkelly/status/969982577032523776?lang=en

Call me crazy for saying no, but no.

Mistress Ayn, no you’re not crazy. I’m all for in person sessions. It isn’t a generational thing or me being a 20th century kinda guy. I have gotten aroused in making bank deposits for two Mistresses I knew very well. The circumstances were that they were both out of town and either needed cash or wanted a deposit for a live session. The intimacy of knowing the Mistress’ bank number was hot... but in person for me is the real deal.

I tend to be as open-minded as possible when it comes to fetishes and kinks and the like, but when it comes to findom I can't help but be absolutely repulsed by it.
To me it's not a form of play or kink, it's just a way for them to make money. The activity, in my mind, doesn't actually arouse them nor is the humiliation fun for them, they just want to get more $$$. I'm sure it can be done well outside of that, i've heard kinky stories of findom done in a non-exploitative way but genuine kinky fun, but those stories seem to be a minority IMO.

I like to give my mistress gifts, and I often will pay more than the agreed amount if i'm with a professional dominatrix ontop of a gift, but they never ask, they never beg, and they never coerce that out of me.
I've interacted with online dommes before and play with them always seems to devolve into findom, even when you say "I'm not really into that." they always try and sneak it in there and start asking for extra tribute or gifts. If you ever try and arrange something casual online on, say, Collarspace or Fetlife, you'll 99% of the time run into women who fancy themselves findommes even if they don't outright advertise that fact because they know how quickly that turns some guys away.

And the only type of domme you'll find on any social media like Twitter or the like is a findom.
As a result I don't even like playing online, i'd rather just limit myself to 100% in person sessions. With a trusted pro-domme expectations are set and I feel comfortable, mid-session i'm not gonna get a domme saying "Hey, can you go grab your wallet and give me an extra $100 in tribute?"

I feel a whole lot like the OP after 20 years pf regular live sessions. I haven't done anything in person in 12 months but i’ve replaced it with a fairly consistent findom relationship. Id view it as two different things. The dynamic, relationship, and play feels different than a one on one live session.

My first real experience with findom started in a live session. It was exciting and introduced a new element that i haven't explored before. Then i started seeking it out online. There has been some good and some bad. The interactions with my domme are more frequent and I've been able to explore some kinks that i just couldn't do live. Plus they are really easy to setup. Maybe it is instant gratification.

I also miss the face to face interaction. I can tell if the findom sessions are what is taking me away from it or not. But i cant take pain like i used to and my kinks trend towards humiliation anyway. My findom budget is probably double the cost of my session budget but i find value in it. Its not just pay this bill and go away. Ive got a good dynamic and a great creative domme. Clips, skype, cam etc. Money is just adding in an additional humiliating element that i find exciting. Its does feel a little like an addiction but hey ive always taken the approach of “its my kink” so why not do what feels right.

https://twitter.com/cumdump1313/status/1161406129634795520
I think this is post on Twitter is fairly relevant to the thread. To me it's an example of how findomming is getting metastasized and kind of changing attitudes in the femdom world.
I don't use Twitter much at all so I don't get so many DMs from findommes there, but any kink related social media site and that's basically my inbox as well, and is part of why i've grown to kind of dislike financial domination.

YIKES!

I stand corrected. I never thought anything could be so sad and cringey as a domme's DMs. Def works both ways.

Alex, maybe I am very biased against findom which I equate to lack of integrity. But talking about your problem, I think it is very difficult to find a "face to face" partner who is not a professional mistress.

I think that if all you want to do is talking your chances of finding a partner are much better if you make the effort and look long and hard enough.