International,

Glad to hear the "overpowering" aspects of your session were expected in your case. I just wanted to post so that any less experienced subs reading this would know that "overpowering" your Domme is not typically expected behavior and shouldn't be entered into without clear communication and consent. Communication of interests and consent is a universal key ingredient to a fantastic session. I just want these wonderful women to feel as safe as possible so they can unleash their best art upon us.

-tab

I get that international knew the main Domme and in this case rightfully assumed it was okay to go there with the visiting one. Personally this would terrify me if it was not pre-negotiated and I would probably head for the taser or pepper spray;-) (I have never had to do that by the way.)

I probably wouldn't agree to it up front either. Early on I had a few people want to role play physically resisting and I found it not only fake but really awkward and really uncomfortable. I know a man can physically overpower me anytime he chooses and it's uncomfortable for me to pretend/play differently. Yes, I know that "pretending" that he is so enamored with me that he won't resist might be a stretch, but hey, let a girl dream.

Ayn

Thanks so much for adding your valuable thoughts.

Just to emphasize, it was not only only consensus with "my" domme, but also, the playful provocation of her friend, that gave me the impression that she was OK with turning it into kind of a wrestling play where I had a significant advantage.

I'd definitely love to session with you when in your part of the world and preferably without taser or pepper spray :-)

You bring up a good point with the balance of physical power. That is why I really like to be restrained throughout the whole session so that the "awkward" situation doesn't come up.

And in wrestling sessions (which I have done only very few of) I like a partner who is significantly stronger than I am, so I don't have to "pretend". If she is significantly stronger, it makes the whole venue much safer, particularly for me, because she can overpower me in a much more controlled way.

I always thought that pro-dommes fulfill our (customers) dreams, but great if we can also fulfill some of yours!

I would like that too.



Agreed. Anytime someone doesn't want bondage to be a part of the session I get a little suspicious - unless it's foot worship or feminization or something like that. I know some people are claustrophobic but to me bondage in an integral part of a session. Obviously in longer sessions positions must be changed - moving from the cross to a bench as an example. I find it tedious to hobble feet and tie hands to prevent the sub from running away or over powering me when we are only moving 4 feet to the next piece of equipment. I have agreed to guys offering up what they call light resistance but inevitably they don't know their own strength. I weight 120 pounds and am waking in stilettos so it doesn't take much resistance to throw me off balance. That is truly awkward! So instead I like to think that he is "broken" and wouldn't dream of escape, especially if I am leading him by the balls.



Absolutely!

This is different but related to your remarks about resistance. Years ago I was seeing a Domme fairly regularly. We had good chemistry and I liked her. She had said that she wrestled so one session I asked if we could wrestle and she said yes. She grabbed me and was trying to throw me down but in reality she wasn’t very strong and not much of a wrestler. I just stood there and offered some light resistance but not really doing much of anything but holding my position as she tried to subdue me. Suddenly she bit down hard on my ear causing it to bleed and said do not move. That was the end of the wrestling and we moved on to other activities. She was cool and I liked her so I wasn’t real upset but I could never figure out why she said she wrestled.

Ayn

I fully agree with you on the bondage aspect.
For me the fascination is the state of complete helplessness. With the riding crop you only reach my surface, but to reach my brain, I got to feel helplessness, which is difficult to achieve without being under physical control.

Having my hands chained to the back only for moving the 4 feet to the next equipment adds a lot to the excitement and feeling of helplessness. Once my wrists are secured behind my back, I know I am at the mercy of a 120 pound woman - particularly if she has a track-record of taking advantage of my vulnerabilities :-)
I don't look at this transition as "lost time", but rather as "fore play".

And of course, I had many good sessions, where the transition from one equipment to the other had the purpose of a one-minute break with feedback and water. And it would never have crossed my mind that it was anything else than that.

Tabula

Thanks for clarifying that.
You are probably right that my recount could be misunderstood.

Both sides are responsible that it is safe, sane and consensual.
And the more off the beaten track we go, the more explicit the consent got to be, and the less we can rely on "silent consent".
This, of course, is not limited to BDSM.

Was her name "Michaela Tyson"?

This is exactly why I only like to wrestle with women substantially stronger than me. This way it is much easier that we remain in fantasy-land and that it doesn't suddenly become serious.

For an outsider it is difficult to put the "ear-biting" event into context, but it seems you were cool with it.

I agree about wrestling with stronger and more skilled women. Believe me I have been trashed by a few. I liked wrestling because I wanted to feel the Domme could truly physically dominate me if she wanted rather then me just submitting but it was hard to find a Domme who could really do it. There were a few though.

The only thing that bothered me about the ear biting was I was worried about the little puncture hole and mark but it healed quickly. I still am perplexed as to why she bit me because I was not aggressive at all.