Everyone has their own idea of what pushing limits or boundaries in session might be like but it is something we often hear as professional dominants. "Mistress, I am looking forward to you pushing my limits today."

That could mean engaging in activity that was previously off limits. It could mean more intense (fill in the blank) than usual. It could mean a bit of mind fuckery, bringing in an extra player, dispensing of safe words, the list is endless.

What are some examples of where you have pushed limits (Tops) or had your limits pushed (bottoms)?

I will get it started:

In a recent session with a sub I have sessioned with maybe 5-6 times, he was looking to have his limits pushed. I read back over his application and my notes. I saw that he had left golden shower on the list but had made a comment about not wanting toilet play. Well, near the end of the session I led him into the bathroom, telling him all along the way exactly what I was about to do to him, I laid him on the floor of the shower and proceeded to piss on his junk. I could feel him shaking as I lead him in (he was being led by this cock) and he looked terrified but excited as he laid there - but his erection never flagged. Once it was over we discussed it and he acknowledged it was a hard limit. He had just failed to remove it from his list of interests. However, he was blow away by how hot it was. Limit pushed.

What a great question, thanks for posting it!

From a sub or bottom point of view I think that pushing limits and intensity is just part of a healthy attitude toward BDSM. Being willing, if not eager, to push limits enables a sub to embark on a BDSM journey of exploration, in which the sub's desire for session activities continues to evolve over time.

My original hard limits list was nearly all encompassing! LOL. There was more on the hard limits list than there was off of it. No watersports, no anal play, no marks, no sounds, and absolutely never, ever, ever would I engage in needle play piercing!

Well, all of those limits are long gone thanks to the patience and creativity of some amazing Dommes who saved me from my own timidity.

Watersport limit disappeared in a stream all over my chest from a Domme who convinced me that I had earned the privilege of receiving it. Because I had "earned" it I felt it was ok to endure it.

The anal play limit disappeared when a Domme had me such the cock on her strap on, gagging me with it while telling me how good it would feel in my ass. How right she was!

The no marks limit evaporated during a heavy NT session when a Domme told me if I wanted heavier NT play I would have to beg for it and accept whatever she decided to use to up the intensity. I instantly agreed (thinking with the little head). She then very expertly used a short whip on my clamped nipples. Yep, had some bruises for several days afterwards, but they were worth the price!

The sounds hard limit was put to rest during a very intense T&D session. My cock had been at attention for some time and of course without the prospect of any relief when the Domme said she wanted to see how well I cold handle having my cock fucked. Well, when she put it like that, what could I say ? I found out pretty quick I could handle having my cock fucked as she worked her way through a collection of different sized sounds.

Being an absolute NT slut, my hard limit against play piercing collapsed like a house of cards while tightly bound to a bondage bed, hooded, and gagged. The NT play got intense and she took the gag out long enough to tell me that it would make her very happy if she could play pierce my nipples and that she had no doubt that I was more than ready to take that step. Knowing she wanted me to do it, that it would make her happy, and her telling me that I was ready made me eager to give it a try.

I still have some limits of course. Every sane sub does. But they are primarily more emotional limits as well as some limits on more extreme types of corporal play that would result in the risk of heavy bleeding or long term marks. Of course, I have the standard common sense limits regarding unsafe play of any type.

I have learned to play from an attitude of "YES!", something that I learned from the amazing MTO. No longer timid, I simply buckle up and enjoy the ride!

Wow. These are some great experiences, jack. Thanks for sharing.

As I think you said somewhere else on the forum, with the right D/s relationship it's easy to let go of limits, boundaries and such. Trust is paramount.

Consensual limits pushing always is tricky, as this require --in my opinion-- a sub with some awareness of the person he is and a skillful and careful domina, as well as some kind of connection between the two.

For my part, I can only think of Lady Daria at Warsaw Prison at the time.
She loves breaking subʼs psyche, make them cry without physical pain. This is one of the things I asked for my stay and it happened. I was so emotionally exhausted and upset that I cried without even knowing why. I dropped everything and yet it was so pleasant, some sort of comfort in this great distress.

I consider this experience as a limit pushed, as I would have been incapable to take it just 2 years before it happened. It was too true, too "NON-BDSM" to be easily handled.

Also, to me, that precise experience was the definition of no control at all. Crying like a baby is not something that can be anticipated like a specific practice. It's not like to politely ask for a breath play or impact limit to be pushed. The domina only manages to press the button, but everything that comes next is from your deepest inside and can't really be controlled by neither of the two. I don't know if I'm clear enough
Would be easier to say it in French!

Mistress,
Great question. Forgive me if I repeat myself in my response. My whole career in BDSM since the early 1970s (when I in college and answered a B&W Screw Magazine ad of legendary Belle de Jour because she looked busty and sexy) has been about pushing limits. I fell into this as a horny kid wanting to be with sexy older women. By the second or third session with Belle she had me as the sub in a training session and halfway into it anal play was involved. (She didn't ask, she just did it. Today? Limited play, butt plug, etc. but not the full experience.)

Years ago I never thought I'd worship toes or bare feet, but now I love it. Hand over-the-knee spanking? I never thought I'd like it, but now it is a sensual pleasure. Scissoring by a female body builder or a fit Mistress? What's not to love? LOL!

I've pushed limits on my own suggestion, such as outdoor play in the city usually at dawn on a weekend and I did that several times. But other times Mistresses who have known me well over the years were careful when in planning a session by phone or with me. The main activity where two Mistresses said, "Really?" is GS. Mistress Ayn, twice I had the same type of GS experience you describe, with me pleasuring myself. I never thought that would be enjoyable. I was in deep subspace both times I experienced it. You never know how your tastes change over the years.

It is a more complex issue than it appears at first. Everybody likes to say I overcame my limits. And it is mostly true. But some limits are about thinks you really don't like. Is there plus value in saying now I like what I hated before? Is everybody's friend your friend?

You are characterized both by your likes and dislikes. For instance I dislike humiliation and if my favorite mistress would try it on me I would not think that she tries to expand my limits but that she does not understand or like me.

So we have hard limits, like lasting marks, and this is circumstantial, it prevents me from doing things I would like or at least I think I would, and things I plainly don't like.

For instance sometimes I am saying no to wax. It is not a limit per se, I can do it, I just find it boring.

The most important aspect of a session is chemistry and of course it works different with different partners. I have hardish limits which I know for sure that I would be willing to break with a particular mistress but which remain hard otherwise. Different limits with different mistresses.

Of course, like everybody else, I do have limits which are temporary, and I expect to expand them. But I thought I should mention the exceptions too.

I will start by quoting the late great dominatrix, Gertrude Stein

"Hard limit is a hard limit is a hard limit is a hard limit."

Now sometimes "pushing limits" means testing pain limitations. OK I am a pretty heavy maso I have have some of that. I will not that a positive outcome is not assured

OK and then there is expanding interests. I think there is some confused subs who think everything not checked off as an interest is therefore a "hard limit". No it's not. I have expanded my interests by letting some trusted ladies do things not listed as an interest so as they are not a hard limit.

You are absolutely right, Mistress Ayn. Trust is paramount.

That pretty much says it all. Once the chemistry is established and the trust grows, it is both easy and fun to push the intensity and to at least try experience activities that had been hard limits.

jack

Hi Mistress Ayn:

Thanks for sharing. Reading that was extremely hot. I am currently in a place where I have blown past most of my hard limits and am now evaluating which limits I want to re-instate. I am just emerging from a long-term exclusive situation which was loosely based around total power exchange. In the course of exploring the outer reaches of my limits, I tried activities I had always fantasized about but was afraid of doing for health reasons, as well as activities that filled me with excitement but also real fear and trepidation.

I regret nothing and I am glad for all of my experiences but now find myself wondering which activities I actually enjoy. There is a thrill associated with breaking a taboo for its own sake and sometimes that can get a bit confusing. Is it the thrill of breaking a new taboo that I enjoy or is the activity something I actually like? While bleeding edge kinky activities are exciting to read and post about, something simple like kneeling to kiss a woman’s stockinged foot can sometimes prove to be more erotic in practice.

Thanks for posting and for asking the question.

Absolutely! And it's a great point. It's fantastic to hear that you were able to experience so much. As they say, it's the things you don't do that you often regret. Here is to not having regrets!

Thanks for sharing.