Anticipation of this question literally puts knots in my stomach. Now that I am older, I can say that I am semi retired and, do a little consulting work. (Which is true.) But, I still hate the question. I don't want to lie. I don't want to alienate neighbors and, vanilla friends. In younger years, I found myself avoiding making new friendships because I didn't want them to be built on lies. How do the ladies here handle this question?

Mistress, I've often wondered about that issue for many dominas that I see all over the web. Four I served over the years have vanilla careers and knew pretty well. All were or are single, ranged in age from their late 30s to late 50s when I knew them, and I found out a good amount about their lives away from the dungeon.

One never showed her face in online ads or videos she produced, but she was quite stunning. She did that because she ran her own fitness business. Another is a fitness competitor who rarely uses her pics in her ads and has a couple of kids. The third is a graphic artist/teacher who used to advertise a lot. Now, after a long hiatus, she is back doing sessions but under-the-radar, no ads because she created her own company. The fourth retired about a decade ago was around NYC from the late '90s until the late '00s and only had print ads in the old New York Magazine personals section. I only saw one picture of her online or in print, a fuzzy black & white with her wearing enormous sunglasses. She sessioned in her apartment that was in a medical building. We had to be pretty quiet. She was a nurse or medical technician, based in NYC but eventually left to return to the South, in part to take care of her parents and work at a hospital nearby.

Few, if any, of these ladies' friends or family knew about their alter-egos... just like so many of us subs, slaves and kinksters who served them. They all believed in discretion.

That question (OK, it's too hot to go outside and play today) reminded me of this song - We Are The Nowtones by Blotto



If you get bored, fast forward to about 4:40

Luckily I have a vanilla job, so I use that a lot.

If I didn't, I'd probably say something like modeling or ghost writing. If they ask for your model profile, say you're not comfortable giving any info on that due to the fact that some of your pics aren't work friendly. Hopefully they won't press on that.

It is nice to have a vanilla job to cover with. At my age, neighbors aren't too nosy. But, when I was younger...it is a little rough. They would have pressed on it. Ghost writing is a good one, though. :-)

Looking back, that probably would have been the way for me to go. I was having so much fun as a FemDom and, it was pure of heart, honest play. The magazine covers and, videos were fun too. I guess everything has a price. Nice that your Dom friends were able to have fun and, fly under the radar. My family has always been completely cool about my career...and, many of them are quite religious. I was lucky there.

LOL. That was great. I have never heard of them. What a fun band.

I hate this question. I generally say I work freelance in tech/marketing--which is true, as this is the bulk of my day.

For the most part I am out to my family and close friends. I used to be much more cavalier about just telling people what I do, but I kind of became a "Character" rather than a person. Now, I am much more private unless it is important for someone to know as this would not just affect me, but those close to me. Also everyone has kids and I don't want people to think that I would be a bad influence or something.

I am lucky as "What do you do for a living" is considered a pretty invasive question here, almost flat out rude.

My feelings and, experiences exactly. I am so lucky that my family doesn't think anything about it. Even their in laws, who are very religious think nothing about it. My friends in Tennessee, in the Bible Belt of all places, think nothing of it. While I am not out with the parent's of my daughters best friends in Florida, they wouldn't think anything either. So, that is a blessing. I've never had that in vanilla communities. When I was a young woman in Rhode Island and, Ohio, neighbors noticed my work hours and, life style. They thought I must be a stripper or, something like that. It was tough on the kids at times. So, glad those days are over. I get the question in Costa Rica and, I just dodge it. I don't want to be "That lady." They may not care but, why take a chance.

Next time you are going to be in the US, let me know. If I am anywhere close to were you are, I'd love to meet you. I am always looking for a reason to get to LA.

I tell most vanilla folk that I work as a promotional model and also organize nightlife events - which is true! I just keep the details vauge.