Mistress Natalie and I recently had what I think was a rather unusual experience. I am primarily a masochist and only secondarily a sub. There are some masochists who go into deep subspace from a combination of testosterone and endorphins caused by pain (voice of Liam Neeson, “Release the endorphins!”) However for some masos like myself there is more to it. There is the strange fascination with idea of punishment. This fascination often gets acted out in the form of a role play. This can indeed be very gratifying. Yet the idea of being really and truly punished is not fully satisfied with the pretend punishments of role plays.

Mistress Natalie’s birthday is later this month. I asked Mistress Natalie to devise a punishment enema severe enough that it would in fact be an effective “true punishment” that I would definitely not enjoy. What she came up with was 4 quarts of ginger tea heavily brewed but cooled with some peppermint soap added. It would be administered with a large retention nozzle and the bag hung high. She would use her Venus 2000 on me at the beginning to make absolutely sure I derived no enjoyment.

She then gave me a contract to sign and return to her along with a check for a one hour session. Under the contract I promised to buy her two gifts for her birthday. No price limits were set for the gifts. It stipulated that if I failed to get her the gift I would receive the punishment she had devised. This would be done restrained without a safe word. Full bore consensual non-consent. Like a judicial caning it would be carried out completely. Part of what I wanted to experience is genuine fear of punishment. I most definitely experienced that. The concept of “power exchange” gets bandied about. To my thinking giving someone the right to truly punish is a strong form of power exchange.

We then proceed to play a version of Deal or No Deal. We would discuss her gifts one at a time. She would tell me what she wanted. I could immediately agree or try to get her to agree to something less expensive. If we do not reach a Deal the punishment is carried out. However that means she does not get any gift so there is an incentive on her end to negotiate. We took care of the first gift rather quickly. We both knew that her optimal strategy was to wait until the second gift to get greedy.

For the second gift we went together to an Apple Store. The negotiations were conducted there. So in effect this was a form of discreet public play. We had agreed to a one hour time limit to reach a Deal. If we didn’t we would immediately carry out the punishment. However Mistress Natalie also had the option of terminating the negotiations at any time by saying, “I have decided to punish you”. She wanted something more expensive than I was willing to pay and tried to get her to settle for something considerably less expensive. At one point she set the timer on her phone and told me that I had better agree before it hit 0. Part of me wanted to capitulate but I decided to call her bluff. When the timer hit 0 I wondered with apprehension whether she was going to speak the Words of Doom. She didn’t and we negotiated some more. In the end I got her to settle for something not quite as expensive and agree to waive session deposits for one year.

This was an intense psychological experience having some elements of a mindfuck. We both admitted afterwards that unlike role plays we were uncertain how it would end. She had already brewed the ginger tea in case it was needed.