Although I pass it all the time since I usually stay somewhere around downtown while in Vegas (usually up Fremont a block or two), I have never been in there. I am sure a lot of it is because I am usually walking around plugged with a hush device (under orders/control of my Vegas Domme) and the last thing I need at that point is a massive intake of food.

I love roleplay. I love to get lost in a character. And when my play partner gets lost with me? It can make for a totally amazing session.

Some people are obviously very self-conscious when rolplaying. It can be awkward when that happens but I don't let it stop my immersion into my character. And what I find often happens in these cases is that people really respond when they see my commitment to whatever fantasy we've negotiated. Those moments that they let go are honestly some of the most gratifying for me as a player.

Thank You for jumping in with Your thoughts Mistress.

I think its really just the way my mind works. For me, it feels fake to pretend to be someone else and I crave what I feel is a real connectivity during play. Whereas there can be a lot of connectivity during roleplay in general (maybe even more than normal), I can't connect if I am feeling fake rather than genuine and that is where it fails for me.

Asp

First off, understand that I'm 100% spanko, 100% bottom. When I started visiting pros, role play made a lot of sense. I felt that I needed a reason why I was getting a spanking, so we'd set up some sort of scenario like "you did this, it was wrong, and now you're going to be spanked." Since I started playing pretty late in life, I guess my introduction was when I was in my late 40s (I'm about to turn 76), I never really imagined myself as a youngster or school boy - most of my role play setups were as an adult or teen-ager, the traditional "not too old to be spanked" sort.

I've tried play in the school environment a couple of times. First time I had suggested that I was being punished for setting off firecrackers on the playground during recess - a good reason for punishment since it was not only potentially dangerous to me, but to others in the group that gathered for the fun. That started off well, but not long after the spanking started, the "principal" started coming up with reason after reason why she was punishing me - throwing food in the cafeteria, talking during an assembly, teasing the girls, and finally, accusing me of getting one girl pregnant. Silly! I thought I'd give school another try with someone else, this time playing a teacher who was caught peeking into the girls' locker room through a hole in an an adjacent supply closet. That worked!

For a while, I was an older, retired "Mr. Fixit" kind of neighbor that the school kids liked to visit because I'd help them fix their bikes, model airplanes, or work on science class projects. Their mothers were upset because their kids were ignoring their chores (for which of course they were spanked) because they were spending so much time with me, and that I deserved to share in their punishments. That one left enough room for variety that it lasted a few years.

But I seem to have run out of almost-believable reasons to be spanked, and lately I've found that it's OK to just get a spanking. Sometimes the setup is that my boss made an appointment for me to see a counselor who might be able to help me over some small problems I've had at work. The counselor doesn't know what I've done and doesn't try to pry it out of me, her job is simply to give me a sound spanking. And now that I've developed a roster of great spankers to come back to time and again, I can arrive knowing that I'll be spanked, and don't need any role play. I simply enjoy the sensation, and usually some humorous conversation while over her knee.

Maybe in my mind I'm really role-playing that I'm visiting a professional disciplinarian. Or maybe the truth of the matter is that, much as I'd like to, I've never really gotten into playing my role very creatively.

It's interesting that for you pretending to be someone else and "real connectivity" are mutually exclusive.

If it feels fake then it might be that you either simply haven't discovered a fantasy which is truly meaningful to you or, for whatever reason, you just don't enjoy pretending.

Honestly, I was thinking about that when I was posting that reply... Which is why I enjoy these kinds of conversations, because it makes me examine things rather than just live with it. So thank you Mistress Tissa.

One explanation is that I am a switch who is naturally a dominant person, so being a sub actually already feels like I am playing a role rather than it being my natural state. But, it still feels real to me. If, instead of sinking into my subbiness I have to be something else it just doesn't click.

The other explanation is that when I submit, especially in a session situation, I tend to shut off the active part of my brain (although many people will tell you that is never on to begin with ). I tend to lose the ability to talk when I do have to do so, it actually takes me further away from subspace rather than pushing me towards it. So, role play... which usually involves active interaction and acting... thinking and talking... just engages parts of my brain that get in the way of where I want to go while playing.

Not sure which one of these is the reason or if it is a combination of the two, but those are the things I came up with.

You're welcome.



Power exchange and the psychology thereof is a passion of mine. I could talk at length about what might be going on for you, but I'll keep it brief.

If being submissive feels performed, they it's likely you're either not finding the right conditions by which you can naturally relinquish control or you actually aren't really interested in submission.




The conditions by which someone feels submissive (or Dominant) and moves them into sub- or Domspace can be very specific to that person.

Roleplay is something that can come very naturally to some people. For others, it can be a very awkward and uncomfortable -- to the point of being a turn-off.

You mention interaction and acting. It often does involve that, but it doesn't have to. I can be a "kidnapper" and demand silence from you the entire time. You can just slip into the fantasy, have your subjective experience, while I more demonstrably embody my role.

So, actual issues here may be that speaking interferes with how you understand and experience your own process of surrender, and that you may just need to do very particular types of roleplays.

There's also the possibility that what you understand "submission" to be and what it actually is are at odds.