Originally Posted By Mistress Ayn
In answering francisco I have just had an epiphany: I think I see most pure fetishists as selfish. It's more about them and their pleasure/experience than it is about the Mistress's pleasure - or at least that can be the perception. Of course, that's not necessarily true and a well seasoned, intelligent fetishist knows if the Domme enjoys herself, he will have a much better experience, but again it's the perception of selfishness that can be a put-off. I know we are talking about a PAID activity, but the perception going into it can make a whole world of difference.


Exactly! Positively! Bravo!

I'm one of those selfish fetishists. My thing is spanking, but I have never felt that I'm submitting to the woman spanking me. I understand that I'm paying to have my itch scratched.

I try to choose my partners-in-time carefully. For starters, I look for those who classify themselves as "disciplinarian;" "domestic" is also a helpful clue. Sure, I have my quirks. If I find someone who enjoys wearing vintage lingerie, I'll probably ask her if she has a slip to wear when spanking me, but if not, and everything else seems to line up, that's not a deal-breaker.

I know that I wouldn't a good match for a domme who looks hot in latex and loves to have her feet massaged. While anyone can swing a paddle and turn by backside red, this would be "just a job" to those with other specialties and preferences. There's no fun there for either of us.

I'm no psychiatrist, but I don't believe that people are naturally submissive. This is something that you grow into, and a true submissive really needs a full time relationship, not an hour of submission and then back to the old grind. But anyone can be a fetishist, and for any fetish, if you look hard enough, you'll find someone who will engage and satisfy you.
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"We can plainly understand woman was made after man, and she's been after man ever since" - Blind Alfred Reed