Dear Mistress Ayn,

In the first 6 month's of this forum's existence I either said I was 2 parts maso 1 part sub or maybe it was 60% maso 40% sub. I know that I have repeated that formula. Variation on an old joke: First prize in a contest: 1 hour of ouchless submission. Second prize: 3 hours of ouchless submission.

However saying X is primary and Y is secondary is not the same as saying Y does not exist. I do have a submissive side which complements the masochistic side. There has been a thread topic that I have been tempted to start that is oddly based on a loose common ground between one of ztrade's threads and one of Aspx's threads and my opinion in it is based on my sub not my maso side.

I have only a small amount of fetishism (and no sissy element). That is particularly manifest in my attitude towards outfits. As I've grown older they mean less and less to me. Indeed after 2 good sessions I usually say something like, "I am perfectly comfortable with you wearing your street clothes the next session if you'd like" If a good chemistry has been established a session with a domme in her street clothes can make me feel that I am closer to the real person which is nice.

Now I have admitted in the past that I was fond of role plays in my early days but for the most part I have gotten away from that.

When I am starting with a new Domme I will communicate via Email before the session things like:

"There should an OTK warm up using your hand as hard as you want early on"

"I should be thoroughly restrained during the most intense phase"

"You can hit back, thighs and even the soles of my feet if you like but when the session is over the sorest part of my anatomy should be my buttocks"

"If you feel like doing some NT this session you should start with using your fingers before progressing to clips"

So yes I am giving instructions but I am also giving considerable leeway. If they are not followed during the session I do not top from the bottom during the session. Rather I make a mental note and there is no second session.

Oh and a word about women's feet. Most men who don't have a foot fetish tend to find them bordering on gross. I seem to have the rare middle position. They are nice but in a mild non-fetishistic way.